Two Strikes Leaves Me a Miss

I had to get control of myself. The girls would not see me lose it. I jammed my hand into my pocketbook, searching for the wad of tissues I kept handy for runny noses or sticky hands. Finding them I blew my nose, wiped my eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to laugh off my tantrum.

"Even Mommies cry sometimes. Sorry, chickadees."

"Mo-om? Mom? There's a man," Katie whispered in my ear.

"What? Where?"

"He's looking in the car."

Matt was leaning into the open window on my side with a wide grin. "Momma, what seems to be the trouble?" he asked.

"Oh!" I jumped a foot off the seat and thought my heart would stop.

"Jeez, Matt. This has been one freaky day. You scared me half to death!"

"Sorry, I was worried about you and the girls after you left today. With everything going on here, I wanted to make sure you were all right."

"Well, except for the stalker trying to give my girls candy just now and my stupid car dying, we're just grand."

"What? Someone gave the girls candy without you knowing it?"

"Yeah. They're okay. But it scared me. I just wanted to get them home."

"Did you report it to the owners?"

"No. I think they're tired of me running around crying wolf all day. Please, Matt, I don't want to deal with it now. I just want to go home."

"Let me help you get this car started. I'll pull mine up and we'll charge the battery," he said, jogging back to his sleek sports car and pulling it up to the front of my VW Bug, ready to be the knight in shining armor.

It was too funny to pass up not getting a closer look when he opened the hood. Apparently, I wasn't the only one waiting for the reveal. Mike, the cook, was down the driveway a bit, leaning against the back of his RV with the stray kitten nestled in the crook of his arm. He was enjoying this show way too much. Here was this slick guy with a fancy car, trying to save the maiden in distress, while Mike knew exactly how it would end.

"You want to pop the hood for me?" he asked, clueless.

"You have to reach under and release the latch."

After a minute or so of fumbling, Matt finally managed to unhook the stubborn latch and pushed open the hood.

"What the f....? I can see why your car won't start. I think someone stole your engine." He said, not certain what was going on.

I couldn't keep myself from giggling hysterically. For once today, the joke wasn't on me. "I'm sorry, Matt. I couldn't resist. Old VW Bugs are built a little differently. The engine is in the back."

His perfectly tanned face grew red as a tomato and he angrily slammed the hood and stalked back to his fancy little sports car, not even giving me a backward glance. Well, then. Good riddance to you and your pervy friends, creep!

After he threw gravel at me and my backward car on his way out of the parking lot he flipped me the bird. Sheesh. Thank God I didn't agree to go on the boat with him tonight. What a hot head. I didn't need another asshole in my life right now, thank you very much.

After my knight in shining armor peeled out onto the highway, Mike came walking up the path laughing his ass off with the kitty in his arms. "What an ass. I don't know much about cars, but I do know where your engine is. Well played, Karol. Well played!"