The key - 5

The moment I stepped onto Shaman’s surface, my lungs filled with air that tasted like crushed mint and something metallic—like licking a battery, but not unpleasant. My bare feet sank into the violet moss that covered everything, releasing a scent that reminded me of my grandmother’s attic, where she kept dried lavender and old books. I hadn’t felt this grounded since before the mine, before seeing him inside the trunk.

Marui was waiting at the edge of the clearing, her silver hair floating around her face as if she were underwater. She didn’t look like me—not exactly; her eyes were gold where mine are brown, her skin carried fine blue lines like veins of quartz—but when she smiled, I felt that familiar tug behind my ribs, the same one I used to feel when watching old videos of myself as a child.

“You brought the key,” she said, nodding toward the bronze one I was still holding tightly. My knuckles were white. I hadn’t realized how hard I was gripping it.

“I don’t understand any of this,” I admitted, my voice cracking like dry branches underfoot. The air here hummed, a low vibration that made my molars ache. “I keep thinking about that head in the trunk. How… peaceful his eyelids looked. Like he was sleeping off a bad dream.”

Marui took my hand. Her palm was warm, calloused in places I didn’t expect.

“You’re carrying two weights now,” she said. “The truth you found, and the truth you’re running from.” She led me to a stone seat that seemed to grow out of the ground. “Sit. Breathe. Let the planet hold you.”

I did. The violet moss cushioned my legs, cool and slightly damp. In the distance, two suns sank toward the horizon, casting long shadows that moved like liquid. I thought of Clara back on Earth—my body, my face, but not me—handling what I couldn’t. The thought should have terrified me, but I felt only relief, like someone had finally taken the overstuffed grocery bags from my hands.

“Tell me about the vial,” I whispered. “Clara told me it should be my first search here.”

Marui’s fingers brushed my wrist, tracing my pulse.

“It’s not what you think. Not a prize. Not a reward.” She stood and motioned for me to follow. We walked through a grove of trees with translucent bark, their roots pulsing with blue light. “When you left Earth for this lifetime, you chose to forget. To experience limitation. To feel what it’s like to be… small.”

She turned and looked at me—her golden eyes glowing in the fading light.

“The vial holds the part of you that remembers infinity.”

We reached a clearing where a stone pedestal stood. On it, a crystal vial glowed with soft white light. Inside, something like liquid starlight swirled. My breath caught. It felt like seeing my own heartbeat made visible.

“Touch it,” Marui said.

I hesitated. “And then?”

“You remember. You become what you’ve always been. But you also remember why you chose to forget.” She stepped back. “Some never touch it. They prefer the dream.”

I reached out. The air around the vial crackled, raising goosebumps along my arm. Just before my fingers touched it, I froze.

“My father knew about this, didn’t he?”

Marui nodded slowly.

“He touched his own vial. That’s why he gave you the keys. He knew you’d find your way here.”

The memory hit me like a physical blow—my father’s trembling hands as he wrapped the bronze key in a café napkin, his voice thinning to a thread. You’ll know when to use it. He hadn’t been talking about lockers or trunks. He had meant this moment.

I touched the vial.

Light exploded behind my eyes—not blinding, but revealing. Suddenly I knew: the mine, the head, the keys—they were never the destination. They were the path back to my true self. I saw flashes—my spiritual group gathered in the Fourth Dimension, their faces familiar as my own breath; the moment I chose this Earth life, wrapping infinity in human skin like putting on a coat; my father, standing here on Shaman centuries ago, making the same choice.

The light faded. I was still kneeling in the violet moss, tears carving tracks through the dust on my cheeks. Marui knelt beside me, her

As soon as I arrived on Shaman, I inhaled air that smelled like crushed mint and something metallic—almost like licking a battery, but without the unpleasant taste. The texture of the violet moss beneath my feet caused aromatherapy memories of my grandmother's attic, where she used to store dried lavender and old books; I have not felt as stable or secure for some time (before I was in a mine) or before I found him inside the trunk.

Marui waited for me at the edge of the clearing; her silver hair floated around her face as if she were submerged in water. There was little overall resemblance between us; her eyes were gold & mine were brown, and her skin had fine blue lines like quartz veins, and my skin does not. But when she smiled at me, I felt a familiar pain behind my ribs; one similar to the way I felt when I watched video recordings of myself as a child.

"You have the key," she said while pointing to the bronze key that I was occupying my grip onto. I hadn't realized how much of my weight was on it.

"I don't understand any of this," I said as I felt my voice crack, as if I stood upon dry branches. The air here pulsated with low vibration; my molars felt like they might burst out of my mouth, and I kept thinking of that head inside the trunk. How the peaceful eyelids looked as if they were sleeping after having been troubled by heavy dreams.

Marui held my hand, and her palm was warm to touch, with calluses where I did not expect them to be.

"You are carrying two weights," she told me. "The truth you found, and the truth you are running away from". Marui led me to a stone seat that appeared to grow from the ground itself. "Sit, breathe, and allow the planet to support your body. You will feel grounded".

I sat, and the violet moss cushioned my legs and was slightly damp to the touch; I looked into the atmosphere, where two suns had almost reached the horizon, casting long shadows which flowed like liquid/light, and I remembered Clara was back on Earth, and I thought of her (my double) having to deal with what I could not. And while this thought should have frightened me, all I could feel was relief, and I thought that the weight of the heavy grocery bags I was carrying had finally been removed.

I whispered, "Tell me what you know about the vial from Clara; she told me to find it first".

Softly, Marui’s fingers brushed my wrist where I felt my pulse.

She replied, "It is not at all what you believe; it's not a gift or a prize". And then she stood and motioned me to follow. As I walked beside her, we entered a grove of trees whose trunks looked wet with light, and their roots pulsating with blue light. "When you left Earth, you made the decision to leave behind your memory and limitations in order to experience what it's like to feel small and finite."

She turned her gaze away from the sun that was beginning to set and looked directly into my eyes. Her golden iris was bright against the fading light.

And she said, "The vial holds your memory of what infinity was".

We came into a clearing where there was a stone pedestal with the crystal vial glowing softly white; the liquid inside looked like liquid stars, which were swirling. And I held my breath as it was as if I was watching my heartbeat.

Marui said to me, "Now you touch the vial".

"But, what happens next?"

"You will remember who you really are and what you have always been; you will also remember why you have chosen to forget".

And she stepped back, saying, "Some people never wish to touch it; they prefer to stay in their dream states."

I cautiously reached out; there was static surrounding the vial that raised goosebumps on my arms, and just before my fingers made contact with it, I halted.

"My father must have understood this, right?"

Marui nodded slowly. "He must have; he must have touched his vial as well, and thus he gave you the keys, knowing that one day you would find your way".

A memory hit me like a blow as I remembered my father's hands wrapping the bronze key in a napkin from a café, and his voice was almost gone when he said to me, "You will know when to use the key." And he did not mean lockers or trunks; he meant this moment.

I reached for the vial.

Suddenly, there was an explosion of light behind my eyelids—not blinding light, but revealing light. I understood that the mine, the head, the keys were never meant to be my destination but were my means of reclaiming my true self. I could see images flash through my mind—my group of spiritual friends gathered in the Fourth Dimension, their features familiar as my own breath; a moment in time when I chose my life to be lived on this Earth and wrapped an infinite spirit into a human body, as if putting on a coat, and my father standing on Shaman hundreds of years earlier at the same place, making the same choice.

The bright light slowly receded, and I remained on my knees to the violet moss, and my cheeks contained tracks from the tears flowing down my face, while Marui was kneeling next to me, her hand warm on my shoulder.

"You are shedding tears", she pointed out.

"I recall now", I replied in a hoarse tone, "The reasons I departed, and the reason I return." I glanced at my hands; they were both familiar and foreign. "The intention for my lapse in memory was to have a fresh experience of wonder, to stand in the rain without the knowledge of tomorrow, and to love without an anticipated conclusion."

Marui grinned, "So?"

"I would repeat that same journey", I replied. I reached out again to the vial for the purpose of gratitude and not for the acquisition of its ability. "However, I think in my future walks I shall retain the experiences of the past."

Upon my return home to Earth, Klara - who shared my likeness - would be before the treasured cabinet, balancing the silver key. She would accurately know how to respond to the authorities, the extremists, and the media, and she would execute her plan with the type of precision one has after having witnessed the rise and fall of many societies.

Standing up, shaking off the moss from my knees, I was treated by the dual suns approaching their setting, painting the sky tones that lacked a name for me.

"What's next?" I would inquire.

Marui pointed to the horizon, where the stars began to peek through.

"You must decide what to retain and what to release from your former experience. The road will not follow a straight path, Sister; it never was intended to".

A gust of wind carried the aroma from the crushed mint swaying back and forth through the glen at that point. A bird with three different singing calls was serenading. I would close my eyelids and feel two warmed keys in my left pocket for the purpose of memorizing not just the physical aspect of life but the purpose of those warm reminders of human existence.

When I opened my eyelids, Marui would be gone, although the stunning blue moss would still exhibit where she had been in that moment in time, and the air would continue to resonate with her presence. I touched my wrist where she had traced my pulse with her finger; the beat of that rhythm was constant, human, and mine.

I took one last glance at the blue crystal vial that rested on the stone pedestal before turning to begin my journey home and looking up to see stars twinkling in the distance like train signals guiding me into the darkness.

Eons had passed.