Sometimes I wish, sometimes I hope, that I said it before.

I am proud of the way you tried, even when the world felt so heavy.

I am proud of the way you smiled, even when your heart was breaking.

I am proud of the way you held on, even when your hands were shaking and your voice — gone.

I did not say it enough, did I?

Maybe it was because I thought you did not need to hear it.

Maybe it was because I thought you already knew.

Maybe it was because I thought I had more time.

I hope you know how proud I am, proud of who you are, how far you have come, and all the little things you do that make the world brighter.

It is not always about the biggest wins — it is also about the courage, the kindness you portray even when no one is watching. You shine in ways that you do not even realize and I hope that you will see that yourself someday.

I have watched you, I saw what you have become.

I saw all the falls and how you still managed to get back up.

I saw all the ways you have pushed forward, even when it felt like no one noticed.

I saw all the battles you fought, even when you already wanted to give up.

I saw all the challenges that you had to go through. I saw all the hurdles you had to jump over.

I saw all the dreams you were reaching for, even if sometimes you think there is no hope.

I saw through all the stumbles, through all the tears, through all the times you thought that no one cared.

I saw all the moments you kept on going, even when everything you wanted was to stop.

I saw it all,

I felt it all,

I noticed it all,

and still, you rose up to the occasion.

I wish that I could tell you now.

I wish I could sit beside you, look you in the eye and tell you out loud:

“I am so proud of you.”

I am beginning to wonder,

did you know?

did you ever feel it?

or did the silence drown my words before they could find their way?

I am proud of you, I always was.

Even during the times I did not say it.

Even during the times you doubted yourself.

Even during the times the world was so unkind.

I hope you know how proud I am.

I hope you know how proud I have always been.

I hope you know how proud I will always be.

and how much I wish I had told you sooner.