Rustle, Oklahoma

The three of us exited the house. Lenny leapt down the front steps to meet his waiting friends. He showed off his necklace to the boys, they gathered around, and then they ran off in a pack towards the bouncy house.

“Let’s go see how far gone my friends are,” Henry said lazily then put his fist against his mouth to hide a yawn.

“Anymore drink and you’ll go asleep standing,” I said, Henry rolled his eyes at me. “Heh. Let’s go find your drunkards,” I said, following Henry down the steps, with a bottle of water in one hand and the plate of food in the other.

Henry led me through the rambunctious and energized people sitting, standing, and clumped up at tables. With the beer flowing and their bellies full of barbecue and cake. The people in attendance were letting loose. The dance floor was full of guests moving and stomping to another country song with an acoustic that was raising the atmosphere of the party higher and higher. The strings strummed quickly, and it seemed the people’s feet followed in accordance.

Henry and I dodged people leaping off of chairs to go dance, drunken women and men stumbling to their tables or back out for another round in the dirt lot with the mass of people. They were laughing, taking photos with their cellphones, and shouting their conversations over the music you could hear all of the talks as you passed by. I spotted Mary running around with a camera then she disappeared into the maze of tables. Then I heard, “Holy shit! Billy! Fucking! Knox!”

Jimmy had his arms outstretched, “Bring him over, Henry!”

“This is going to be good,” Henry said laughing at his friend. The table was full of people, only three of which I knew. Tommy, Henry’s work friend we met at the store, was red faced and with an O face, staring up at me. “It’s my fellow lineman!”

Tommy stood out of his seat, nearly fell over, composed himself, and stomped over to me. “Father Rile! You gotta stop them, these fiends are forcing me to drink!” Tommy spoke dramatically, pleading desperately with hands clasped together.

“Not true, pastor,” a wide-chested, muscular man with an extremely deep voice spoke over all the chatter and music. “Tommy keeps giving us games to play and losing at them.”

“Shut up, Josh-ew-ah!” Tommy giggled like a grown baby at his pronunciation; the others at the table laughed at the way Tommy giggled.

“Alright, take a seat Tommy before you fall over,” Henry said, grabbing Tommy by the shoulders and walking him over to his chair. Henry then walked me to the head of the table and sat me down besides Josh. Then he told Jerry to scoot over to the next seat. Sitting beside Henry and Josh, I now started to eat once again. Finishing the brisket, I started working on the ribs.

“It’s so good to see you again,” Jerry slurred his words.

“Likewise, Jerry,” I turned to Josh beside me, “and it’s good to see you too Josh. How have you two been?”

“Good,” Josh said quietly and turned his head to burp away from everyone.

“Great!” Jerry exclaimed. He continued with slurred speech, “I’m telling Henrrry to join me in retail. Tell-him-mmm, Billy. With his charm and good lewks, we can dominate the real estate market in San Francisco.”

“Real estate? Is that still profitable after the crash?”

“Course it is Billy! Those rich bastards up in San Francisco throw money like Red throws up beer!” Throngs of OOO’s and cackles went up. The one with red hair and beard (who I assume is “Red”) rose nearly straight off his chair and slammed his hands down on the table.

“Go to hell!” He laughed, his white face turning the color of his hair. “You cheated! If you didn’t cheat! I wouldn’t have had to shotgun that beer!”

The others at the table agreed with Red but some called him a sore loser. Red waved them off with his hands, middle fingers in the air. Once the laughter died down, Jerry turned to Henry once again and told him, “You’ll make good money.”

“I told you I’d think about it,” Henry sighed. Shaking his head discreetly while looking at me.

“Fine. But don’t take too long or you’ll miss out bud.”

“Alright. Alright. Go back to whatever game you guys were playing,” Henry told Jerry.

“Oh, excuse me—”

Josh cut Jerry off before he could continue, “We ran out of games to play, Henry. After you left, we’ve passed the time telling stories.”

“Well shit,” Henry looked over at me, “got anything for us to play?”

“Heh, I got a good one, but you need cheap and nasty liquor for it. You can’t play if you’re so drunk everything tastes like water.”

“We’re in luck,” Henry reached towards the center of the table and snatched an unopen bottle of rum. Sailor’s Cure. Cheap, nasty, and strong enough to burn your soul.

“Alright, perfect! Let me explain the game. You go face-to-face against the person across from you. Both of you pour half a shot of that there rum. Then you both gulp it down and stare at one another. Whoever makes a face first, has to take a full shot.”

The table gave me a bunch of ooOOOoo’s and curses.

“That’s a dangerous game you’re giving us, padre,” the skinny one with the squeaky voice, that they call Cheepy, said.

“Me and Jerry can’t play,” Tommy pointed out.

“Fine, the rest of us will play and try to catch up to you two,” the one with the golden hair, they call Alex, said to the two drunks.

Jerry and Tommy looked at one another, shrugged, and simultaneously said, “Good luck!”

I continued eating, enjoying the spectacle of drunkards competing against one another. Insults flew across the table. Fingers were pointed at whoever made a face and then came an eruption of laughter. Soon, the scene, the atmosphere, and the smell…the darn smell got to me. It started messing with my head. It was a jumble of noise inside and the outside became muddled.

My thoughts were spiraling to days I’d would have been fine without remembering tonight. Drinking all night after work. Going on a drunken tantrum and speech about this cruel world. Cussing out my boss in my home as Carla looked on. Cursing at the lord and damning my own self for being so weak. All the while Carla looked on. The bottles on the table became lights at the end of a dark tunnel. I was lusting for them. I shoved food into my watering mouth. Fighting the urge that suddenly came bursting out. Why do you drink?

Father Terrence had asked me in his old, crackly voice, “Why do you drink?”

And I had answered, “It drowns everything out. The pain. The pain from struggling on for so long while accomplishing and doing so little. The anxious thoughts. The thoughts that weigh heavily. All of it is washed away. That’s why I drink Father.”

He had scratched at his scruffy, white beard and said, “All good reasons to drink. You may be ashamed of it, but you are only human. As am I. God knows it, and God wants to see you resist the urge to drink. Our Lord wants to see you find your peace in this world. It certainly isn’t easy, and God understands that. God understands all.”

“God does not understand,” I growled at him on the bathroom floor of my apartment. “I drink most of the time now to forget all the times I drank. This damned alcohol turns me into an idiot who makes mountains out of molehills. It’s never-ending. The memories sear and fill me with despair. This is just another memory to wash away. Leave me, Father.”

“No. You’re trying to change Billy Rile, for the better. And I want to help you change. You are still that man who drank but remember you are also that man and boy who loved Carla, who loves his brother, father, and mother. That good man they all smile for. Despite your recent episode, you are still the man trying to change for the better. And you are changing. You’ve made it all the way out here. Too far to give in. So, no. I won’t leave you when I can help you.”

That’s right, I am those men. All of those that have made mistakes and that have done good. I have changed. For the better. I have changed.

I quickly sucked back to the present. Hearing the music, laughter, and chatter once more as Herny gulped a half-shot and stared Josh in the eyes. Josh was like a statue. Henry’s face soon curled into disgust, and he had to take another shot. “That’s it! I’m done!” Henry’s voice was beginning to lose its clarity.

“You did good, little brother,” I placed my nearly empty plate down on the table and clapped Henry’s back.

“Are you drunk enough to accept my offer?” Jerry asked inquisitively.

‘No sirree, sir,” Henry leaned back, eyes closed.

“Well then, you’re not done! Another round for Henry, let’s go!”

Henry was rearing back into the chair laughing with his mouth wide open. Jerry pointed at him. Pointing at my brother’s hysterical laughter. The way he clutched his stomach and the tears that began coming out of his eyes. And soon Josh was laughing out loud. Then Jerry, then the rest of the table, and even me. The only sober one. My body tensed and my laugh ceased as I felt a hand on my shoulder. I followed the skinny arm connected to the hand on my shoulder up to a face with a curly lock of black hair dangling in front of it. In front of Esther’s heart-shaped, almond colored face. Her round, puffy cheeks were red from dancing.

“Esther—”

“Ready to dance, Billy?”

“Well, uh—”

I have changed.

“—sure, I can dance to a song.” The table whooped and hollered as I stood. Henry was looking up at me with a dumb smile. He gave me a thumbs up, which Jerry and Josh quickly picked up. J&J held their thumps up, nodding along with Henry, the three of them staring at me even after Esther and I were a few tables away.

…

“Leaving? Already, I thought you were gonna help me clean?” Henry asked me after I came back from dancing with Esther. I hadn’t danced in a long while, but I kept up. I fumbled at times but that only made her giggle. She said she enjoyed it and tried to get me to dance again but I made my escape. Making up some excuse about my leg which was becoming stiff.

“Sorry, Henry. Tell Mary and Lenny bye for me,” I grabbed my bottle of water.

“Fine, I know you got mass in the morning. Alright guys, my brother’s heading out!” Herny told the group. Collectively, they all said, “Bye Billy!”

I left that party feeling good. When I got home, I only had enough energy to shower and set my alarm. I collapsed onto my bed, quickly falling asleep, my snores the only noise in the silent house.

…

A loud chime woke me up to a pitch-black room. Then I heard a buzz. Bzzt-Bzzt-Bzzt. My phone was moving around on my nightstand beside the alarm clock. The small screen on the front of the phone showed the name of the caller: Lisa R.

I flipped it open and answered, “Hello?” My voice tired and slow.

“Billy. It’s Lisa. Can you come over? It’s Richard. He’s acting real strange but he doesn’t want me to call for an ambulance. Can you come and help me get him to the hospital?”

“Why doesn’t he want you to call an ambulance?” I asked confused, sitting up in my bed.

“Oh, you know how he is. He doesn’t like making a fuss but it’s no bother at all, I tell him. Please, Billy. Come help me. I’m scared.” Her voice gave that away when she first said Billy. It was shaky and her breaths were shuddering.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be over soon.”

“Oh, thank you Billy.”

She hung up. I yawned and stared at the clock. It was ten-minutes past two in the morning. Groggy and extremely tired, I stood and hurried to get ready.