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In a study conducted in 2019, a group of over 400 participants engaged in the process of learning a new and fictitious language. The learning process involved the presentation of three pairs of symbols or runes, with questions such as determining which of the pair represented an animal. After a short break, they were asked the same questions but with a twist – this time, they had to identify which of the runes represented non-living objects. However, what made this learning game unique was that the participants' responses in the first round shaped the meanings of the runes in the second round.

During the first round, participants were divided into two groups: one group had all their answers marked as correct, regardless of their actual accuracy, while the other group was compelled to answer every question incorrectly. This ensured that at the break, all participants had received the same amount of information, and in the second round, they were essentially starting on equal footing. Despite this apparent fairness, something remarkable happened. Those who had performed well in the first round continued to excel, while those who had been labeled as failures in the initial round struggled to improve their performance.

Failure is often described as a valuable learning experience, a necessary step on the path to mastery. However, the reality is that learning from our mistakes is not always straightforward, particularly when those failures are disheartening, overwhelming, or perplexing. So, what prevents us from turning our failures into opportunities for growth?

One of the most apparent obstacles to learning from failure is the emotional pain it can cause. People generally like to think of themselves as competent and capable, and experiencing failure can be a blow to their self-esteem. In a follow-up survey conducted after replicating the rune study, participants in the failure group reported significantly lower levels of self-confidence. It's tempting to dismiss this emotional distress as a temporary setback, but research suggests that when individuals feel demoralized or incompetent, their brains often struggle to process new information. This implies that when a threat to one's self-esteem is substantial, it can hinder the capacity to learn.

However, the ability to tolerate failure also depends on one's relationship with the task at hand. A study from 2011 involved American students enrolled in both introductory and advanced French courses. They were asked about their preference regarding the teaching style of their instructors – whether they preferred educators who emphasized their strengths and successes or those who focused on their mistakes and corrected their weaknesses. The results indicated that beginners were more inclined to seek positive reinforcement, while advanced students were more receptive to critical feedback. Several theories have been proposed to explain these findings. Beginners might crave praise to stay motivated as they are still determining their interest in and commitment to learning French. In contrast, advanced students, who have already invested time and effort, may prioritize efficiently improving their skills. The process of gaining expertise often involves a fair share of failures, which could lead advanced students to develop a higher tolerance for making mistakes.

Whether one is an expert or a novice, it is typically easier to learn from successes than from failures. For instance, consider receiving your exam results: if you performed exceptionally well, you can reasonably assume that your study choices were effective and replicate them for future tests. However, if you received a failing grade, pinpointing the exact reasons can be challenging. It might be due to inadequate preparation, studying the wrong material, or even the test covering unexpected content. In such cases, it is unclear what precisely went wrong, making it difficult to derive lessons for improvement.

While the desire to learn from failures is entirely natural, it's crucial not to fixate on them to the point of neglecting your successes. Focusing on what you are doing right and building upon those strengths can often be more effective than dwelling on your past mistakes.