Not an Exception

Dark Memoirs - Index

"For writers who knowingly lie, for those who substitute unbelievable human behavior for the way people really act, I have nothing but contempt. Bad writing is more than a matter of shit syntax and faulty observation; bad writing usually arises from a stubborn refusal to tell stories about what people actually do—to face the fact, let us say, that murderers sometimes help old ladies cross the street.

…The people in these stories are not without hope, but they acknowledge that even our fondest hopes (and our fondest wishes for our fellowmen and the society in which we live) may sometimes be vain. Often, even. But I think they also say that nobility most fully resides not in success but in trying to do the right thing… and that when we fail to do that, or willfully turn away from the challenge, hell follows."

- Stephen King, On Writing

…

I’ve heard it often debated that many savvy clients play the “I’m flawed, not evil” card, bargaining for their lives with examples of kindness and tenderness offered up against their criminal and morally bankrupt behaviour.

I let them say their piece because I understand—and also because it is all irrelevant.

Example: Daniel Esk gave himself to me and my services because he wanted to unburden his family of his sins of the flesh and money laundering. He believed his death was an unavoidable fixed point in time, and that it would help his wife and children.

The truth is that his logic wasn’t completely flawed. He had cheated with several colleagues—women and men—from their shared social circle, and worked for local monsters, cleaning their money through his legitimate business.

He also liked the dog races, which was quite quaint.

So, by all accounts, his death likely would unburden his family by releasing them from close ties to the mob and would mean his wife would be free from a life spent with a duplicitous arsehole.

A worthy sacrifice? Fuck no.

In his scenario, the wife grieves the unexplained disappearance of his body, as I do not leave trace evidence. There would be questions about his mental stability, and if he hadn’t settled matters with his sexual partners and crime bosses, that could lead to unwanted knocks on his wife’s door.

It benefits him, because he would be dead. But what if he decided to live instead?

He could clean up his act, stop dipping his dick everywhere, and make a real go at life.

But he doesn’t want to do that.

Now, I could try to reason out these scenarios as I have with you, but I don’t really see it as a worthy pursuit.

Not least of all because he is not an exception.

There’s also the fact that he has now seen my face. So he really can’t have a happy ending, even if he changes his ways.

So even if I wanted to, I can’t stop placing his head beneath the guillotine and removing his problems headfirst.

I let him know that I will solve the issue of his wife and child. Nothing too brutal—just a nice throw from high up.