New Girl: Chapter Fourteen

Silvia sat on the roof above her building. According to the leasing office, she was not supposed to be here. Safety issues. But this was her spot. This was where she used to sit with Becca, where Becca would run off to, escaping the vitriol that came from her mother’s mouth.

This was the place Silvia should have said something. This is where she should have confessed everything to Becca. Beginning with her run-in with Blake at the movies.

Pulling her knees up to her chin, she hugged herself, bracing herself against the coolness that slipped in between the thick humidity that blanketed the air. She wished she could go back in time and undo everything. She wished she had never gone to the movies.

No, that wasn’t true.

If she was honest with herself, she had enjoyed Blake’s company. More than she would ever admit. But, as she looked up into the night sky, wishing for a shooting star, she wished she could undo the pain she had caused. But what’s done is done, and her actions haven’t made things any better. Silvia just wanted to fix things. Standing up, Silvia looked down. Three stories up, what a fall that would be.

Silvia watched where she walked as she tiptoed over her building. Then, hearing some voices, she crept to the edge, laying flat on her stomach to peek over. In the dark, she saw two people in the grass below. The girl looked familiar, but she couldn’t place a name. But the guy, she knew exactly who that was. She wanted to look away, bothered by the fact that he was there with some girl.

“Dumb idiot,” she muttered louder than she meant.

“What the hell,” said the girl sitting up.

“What?”

“Come on, it might be maintenance. Walk me home.”

“Walk yourself.”

“Blake! Why are you being such a jerk?”

“Does it really matter?”

“You’re such a pig.” Silvia watched the girl get up and leave, unable to contain her smile. Blake rubbed his forehead and dusted off his shorts as she stood up.

“Bad night Blake?” Blake looked up at her, not so shocked to see her.

“So what, you spying on me now?”

“As if. I was just taking a little walk.”

“And yet, there you lay, watching me. Knew I was hard to get over, but really Vee, that’s a bit pathetic.”

“Oh, you’re talking to me about pathetic considering how in love are you with Lucita?”

Blake shot her a hateful look. “I’m not in love with her, so how about you shut the hell up.”

“You wouldn’t be so defensive if it wasn’t true.”

“Seriously, Vee, get a life.”

“Excuse me.”

“You heard me. Ever since we met Lucita and inferred that I had a thing for her, you’ve done nothing but try and get in the middle of it. Seriously get a life.”

Silvia stood up with her hands on her hips. ”You’re a pathetic jackass, Blake. Dating you was seriously the worst mistake ever.”

He waved her off. “Yeah, you keep saying that. Goodbye Vee, don’t fall.” He turned and left, and Silvia carefully turned around, even though she just wanted to storm off. Unfortunately, her foot slipped on a loose tile, and her body hit the roof. Silvia swore under her breath and slowly and gingerly rose back on her feet. So much for cautiousness.

“Silvia? Are you okay?”

“Blake?” She was shocked by how scared he sounded. It made her feel…complicated. “You’re still here?” she grumbled, trying to keep the quiver away from her voice.

“Heard you hit the roof. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Go away.”

“Jesus, drop the attitude. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Uh-huh, whatever.

“Forget it. Fall for all I care. See you around.”

“Not likely.”

“You’re impossible.”

“Go away already.”

“Fine, fine, whatever. Later.” Silvia continued walking ahead, hopeful Blake was not following her.

When she reached her place, she could see that Rebecca’s bedroom light was on and wondered if she knocked on the window, would they be all right. The light went off suddenly, and Silvia sighed as she lowered her little ladder making sure it was secure enough to climb back into her room. The climb was always a little heart-stopping when she was alone.

She safely made it and rolled her ladder up to just above her window, securing it with a pin. She looked outside briefly for any sigh of Blake. None. Was she hoping for one? Sighing, she locked her window.

Blake and Silvia have a quick pow-wow that Becca overhears...

***

Rebecca waited for Silvia’s footsteps to pass before she turned the light back on in her room. Their entire conversation hadn’t sat well with her. She wished Silvia wasn’t always so loud, but that was Silvia; she had always made sure that she was always heard. A small, wretched part of her wished Silvia had fallen. It was such an awful thought, and Becca hated herself for thinking it, even for a second. She may not be talking to her, but Silvia was her friend.

At least, she thought she was. It bothered her that she wasn’t sure. A little piece of her hated Luci too. She would still be in the dark about things if she never came. But then again, she was grateful that Lucita had come into their lives; she opened the door to the truth.

Rebecca had felt stupid sitting in the dark, waiting for Silvia to pass her room by. It felt dumb, feeling like she had to hide from her, but she had done it. Now, she felt silly turning her light back on.

It felt like every move she made now was stupid. None of this shit should matter, but it did. Grabbing her phone, she slumped onto her Hello Kitty sheets. So juvenile, so stupid, just like everything else about her.

Everything about her was an eyesore. Her looks bled into the room. An unsure mishmash of surfer magazines, punk rock posters like All American Rejects, and cutesy Hello Kitty nonsense. Just like her, nothing really fit together.

Scrolling through her contacts, she stopped on Lucita’s name. She looked at the clock, 1123pm. Hopefully, she was awake.

Becca:

Hey Lu, you awake?

Lu:

Dude

LOL

I don’t sleep much on weekends 😋

What’s up?

Becca:

Nothing, uh, well, something

Lu:

What?

Becca:

Silvia was on my roof

Lu:

Seriously

Becca:

She likes 2 take walks up there.

We used to do it together

Lu:

Oh 😕 okay

so what happened

Becca:

I overheard her talking 2 Blake

Lu:

Yeah, me too.

Becca:

Jeez, I knew Vee was loud, but not that loud

Lu:

Lol go figure.

So what is it u wanna talk about?

Becca:

Blake actually.

Do you think he still has feelings for vee?

He kept calling her that.

Vee.

Luci:

Dude

That’s a hard one.

Ah…

Well…

Do you wanna hear what I’ve got 2 say?

Something dark and unwanted crept into her stomach, flopping down in the pit of it.

Becca:

Yea

Luci:

Okay.

Yes.

I do still think he likes her.

Honestly, I think everything he does is just to get her attention.

I don’t know the whole story but

Like

Yeah, I don’t think he’s over her.

Becca:

You might be right, but . . .

Luci:

But what?

Becca, dude, I’m about to sound like a bitch.

Sorry, not sorry.

Blake is a dick.

You could totally do better.

And, honestly

He may not be over her

But, again, he’s hurting

And I think getting in the middle of you and Vee makes him feel better.

Sorry, not sorry.

Becca:

How can you even think that!

Lu:

Um, because all the evidence is right there.

It’s, like, everywhere dude.

Becca:

You don’t know him.

Lu:

You don’t really know him either, Becs

Rebecca shut off her phone, throwing it across her bed. She was tired of everything with Silvia and Blake. She hated them both.

***

Lucita tossed her phone back on the nightstand. A part of her felt bad. Of course, she hadn’t meant to hurt Becca’s feelings. Still, Becca had wanted the truth, and Luci tried to pride herself on being blunt, especially when the truth was literally right in front of her.

Kicking the covers off her legs, she crept out of bed, taking her pillow and shoving it into the bottom crack of her door should her mom wake up and pass her door. Once satisfied that no light would escape, she flicked on her desk light and booted up her computer.

Everything was falling apart around her. But why? Why was she always the center of chaos? Was it her? Was she just Eris’s golden apple made human? Stretching back in her chair, she hoped Cyrus was online to talk to her. She needed to resolve this issue before it got seriously out of hand. She couldn’t take this kind of drama. She had her own messes to deal with.

“How do I always find myself in the middle of these situations,” she asked herself. She bit her nail and dialed into the Internet while her cat jumped on her lap. The claws temporarily dug into her skin, making her wince, but otherwise didn’t bother her. Her cat was clingy, and she liked that about her little baby.

Scrolling through her messenger contacts happy to see that Cyrus was awake. Hopefully, he could help her figure this whole thing out. She waited, hoping Cyrus would message her first. When he did, she bit her lip, grinning, momentarily forgetting why she wanted to talk to him. Flirtation would have to wait.