Muscle Memory

Dark Memoirs - Index

Sentimentality is a curse.

Apatheia (Freedom from Emotion). The goal of Diogenes. Intense sentimental attachments do not make for betterment in this mortal coil. Whether it is to objects, places, or especially, people, it breeds vulnerability to suffering and loss.

So many of my clients were perfect examples of this.

Charles Destrimius was a Greek immigrant who had found himself in hard times. A wife, a lover, and a gambling debt. All noise to me.

But still, he followed my directions to a tee and had sat before me. He did try bargaining, as most do.

I listened. Let him vent. It didn't change anything, but did it provide a mild form of entertainment as I waited out the inevitable. There would be no plea effective, there would be no resolution.

He would try and fail.

I was not there to welcome arguments against the destiny I dished out. This was all formalities to me. I did find the pleasure in it, once. But now it felt a little like muscle memory.

Apparently, he didn't mean to fall for his lover or fall onto her. Repeatedly presumably.

As I readied the decompression chamber, I made minimal effort to respond. Just let him tire himself, bore himself.

I remained unaffected.