Memoir | Interlude | Part III of VI | Betrayal

Content Warning: This memoir contains sensitive material related to an assault I experienced.

Reader discretion is advised.

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This third part of my memoir is called “Treachery.” It consists of short stories marked by conciseness, quickly guiding you through what happened after I was assaulted and during a difficult time in my life.

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Just when I thought I had left the constraints of the housing projects behind after securing a federal government job and in my first apartment, a familiar darkness emerged, threatening to drag me back to where I could easily access something more potent than cannabis to numb my lingering fear of another assault.

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Such is life, where good and evil coexist among us.

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It is our responsibility to find a way to combat the world's malevolent forces. For me, the path to fighting evil lies in my relationship with God and His son, Jesus.

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As I reflect on this dark chapter of my life, I can’t help but think of Judas Iscariot, the biblical figure and apostle who betrayed Jesus. In a similar vein, I experienced betrayal from a male who I thought was a friend.

Judas is the origin of the well-known phrase “Judas Kiss.” According to the Bible, Judas betrayed Jesus by kissing Him, providing the Roman soldiers with a clear signal of who to apprehend. My friend drew near, and then he committed his terrible assault on me.

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Jesus drew His strength from God to face the knowledge of His impending crucifixion. Similarly, the only way I found to cope with the assault I experienced was by turning to God and seeking refuge in Him during my time of distress.

My mother adorned our modest home with God’s Words everywhere. Now I understand why God advised displaying His words on our doors and keeping them close to our hearts. This way, we can draw upon His divine “Words” in times of need, tapping into His power and strength to help us overcome challenges.

My mother worked as an office secretary at Georgetown University Hospital. She always advised my siblings and me to avoid taking medication prescribed by psychiatrists, warning that it could alter our minds more significantly than cannabis. Instead, she encouraged us to seek comfort and relief from mental distress through faith in God rather than relying on human solutions. As African Americans, we often couldn’t afford such medical assistance, so our faith in God and Jesus served as our source of healing.

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Perhaps this tumultuous time was a divine nudge, steering me toward God’s purpose, as my life had been marred by a pursuit of earthly pleasures, smoking cigarettes and cannabis, drinking cognac and white dry wine, engaging in relationships outside of the sanctity of marriage, and idolizing a man.

A man who radiates strength and confidence was incredibly attractive to me. It felt instinctive to desire him, to want to be his gentle sanctuary when he needed love and admiration. In my eyes, I placed him on a pedestal. However, as I explored scripture, I realized that I had been worshiping men.

While having a natural affection for a man is something God approves of, I came to understand that I had overlooked the importance of placing God, the giver of life, as a first to be worshipped, not a man.

The person who assaulted me was someone I simply wasn’t attracted to at all. I felt no interest or desire for him. I suspect he knew, and his betrayal likely simmered and grew over time.

I innocently believed that we were simply friends who shared in some of my bad habits.

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When I finally understood that I needed to seek God’s help to get me through the mental anguish of being assaulted, He stepped in, transformed my life for the better, and delivered justice to my assailant!

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(Copyright © 2025 by Mia Z. Edwards. All rights reserved.)