Love After Liberation: A Journey of Trust, Wholeness & Second Chances

There was a time I chose in panic.

I mistook urgency for love.

I confused someone’s attention with affection, and their persistence with pursuit.

I remember those choices clearly: answering calls I didn’t want to take, saying yes when my heart whispered no, staying quiet when I should have spoken. I thought love meant clinging so I wouldn’t be left behind. But what I called love was often fear in disguise.

The Shift

But healing has slowed my steps.

Now, I know the difference between choosing quickly and choosing wisely.

Between needing love and being ready for it.

“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.” Robert Holden

And Scripture confirms it:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV)

Guarding your heart is not about building walls so high that no one can reach you. It is about discernment - about filtering out what doesn’t align with God’s will, and letting in only what reflects His love.

“Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter, but the advantage of knowledge is this: Wisdom preserves those who have it.” (Ecclesiastes 7:12, NIV)

Wisdom guards and preserves us, helping us avoid destructive choices.

Choices From Wholeness

When you are healed, your choices change.

• You choose slowly, because peace does not rush.
• You speak your needs with confidence, because love that is true will listen.
• You enjoy your own company so deeply that loneliness no longer drives you into unworthy arms.

And this is the deepest revelation of all:

Only God loves you unconditionally.

No human love can rival His.

It is His love that anchors you, His love that defines you, His love that fills the empty places so no man’s approval can.

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7, ESV)

Then vs. Now

Then: I rushed into relationships because silence felt like rejection.

Now: I rest in God’s presence and know His silence is not absence.

Then: I thought compromise was proof of devotion.

Now: I know compromise without respect is self-betrayal.

Then: I chose to avoid loneliness.

Now: I choose to protect peace.

Healing doesn’t mean I no longer desire love. It means I finally know what kind of love I will wait for.

“God’s unconditional love is my standard - and in its light, I choose differently.” Yvey Essen

Vision for Love

So this is my vision now:

• A love that walks, not chases.
• A love that complements, not completes.
• A love that feels like home, because it honors the God who dwells in me first.

Divine timing is never late. It is perfect.

And divine wholeness ensures that when love comes, I will know it by its peace.

Reflect With Me

Take a moment to pause and pray.

1. What do you want in love now that you’ve healed? Write it down. Be specific.
2. What will you never again accept? Make a list of non-negotiables that honor your worth.
3. How can you trust God’s unconditional love as the measure for every other relationship? Journal a prayer asking Him to align your heart with His standards.
4. And then, sit quietly for a moment. Let His peace wash over you. Let His love remind you that you are already whole.

What kind of love are you creating space for now?

This is the triumph of healing: not only finding peace, but choosing from it. Not only being whole, but loving from wholeness. And so, we end with a prayer - the Amen of my heart.