Knotted Roots - Part 6

Spot was feasting on some hay, content. I threw some saddle bags on Crimson and slung a rifle over my shoulders in case any of the wolves Pa heard were still nearby. The cattle were grazing comfortably, none appeared alarmed. With a light kick to Crimson I pushed onwards to the edge of the property where I could see the ridgeline better. No use in cutting corners. The fence I recently finished was sturdy, undisturbed, and I didn’t observe any tracks. However, I could hear the clamoring sound of thunder, only it wasn’t a storm cloud, the mustangs were charging along the ridgeline again. There was something breathtaking about those wild horses. In a way, it reminded me of last night, how freeing it was that neither of us held back, exposing ourselves. Vulnerable, trusting. She may love Greg, but it was evident that she also loves me. I found myself relaxed, unburdened. I finally told her, showed her, how much she meant to me. Now, it’s up to her. With no threat to the herd in sight I gently pulled the reins and Crimson galloped all the way home. After unloading the saddle bags and storing the rifle in a gun safe kept in the barn. I gave Crimson a well deserved bath and rinsed the sweat off myself. Yanking the wet, clingy shirt off. Allowing the sun rays to bake me dry. Sipping water from a canteen cup I sat upon the fence. At that moment I heard the front door swing open, the screen door bouncing off the siding. “Thank you, Mr. Black!” Grace looked radiant, and more importantly she looked sexy as hell wearing one of my shirts over her shoulders as she left in that sinful satin dress. The gambler hat sat perfectly atop her head, like a country crown. Spot carried her away from the house like the royalty I saw her as. I wasn’t mad that she didn’t wait for me, that she didn’t see me sitting atop of the fence. Grace knew I was a working man, and she honored that. I hopped off, a little bounce in my step. “What’ya find out there?” Pa asked, peeking over the newspaper in his hands. “No sign of wolves. But the mustangs were running across the ridge again.” “Ah, they’re always running after something huh.” I excused myself to head upstairs to freshen up. When I returned to my room to change clothes, I noticed one of Grace’s heels peeking from under my bed. I curled it up on a finger, my eyes closing as the memory of last night repeated in my mind. Steadying myself with a breath I found myself in a sort of frenzy, something in me felt like a primal instinct. It was time to give Cinderella her shoe back, and if I gamble my cards right, maybe we could repeat last night. I stupid smile spread like a wildfire on my face, and I made haste to get to Grace’s house.

—

I rushed inside, hoping to avoid my parents. I quietly opened the door, finding nobody around, thankful I could rush upstairs and change. Rushing into the upstairs bathroom, I showered, undoing all the goo it took to tame my hair, as if rinsing away the sin I committed with Jasper, his whiskey breath still fresh off my lips. Once I was refreshed, I wrapped the towel around me, clothes shoved into the laundry bin, and I tip-toed to my bedroom where I spun behind my door, a deep sigh of relief escaping until I opened my eyes. There he was, chiseled, lean, and under my bedsheet, “Greg?!” He was laying on his side, eagerly awaiting me. Only the southernmost portion of his waist was covered. “There’s my girl.” His eyes took me in as he patted the empty spot next to him, “Come on love, your parents are in town shopping for dinner. No one’s going to hear us.” My mind was torn for a brief moment, I was just with Jasper, whose rugged, masculinity stained me, and I definitely enjoyed it, yearned for it for so long, satisfying. But before me was a man, honest, loyal, caring, and although he’s not a laborer in the same sense as Jasper, he was definitely equally as attractive. Shaking away my guilt, I had to push forward, I couldn’t risk Greg sensing I was just waking up in another man’s bed. Let alone Jasper’s. “I didn’t see your car in the drive.” I said, trying to steady my breathing. He smirked, “Always so observant love.” His eyes danced at the hem of the towel, his hand pulling mine away causing the towel to loosen. Greg, now sitting at the edge of the bed, gently tugged the towel at the corner and like a ribbon, it fell to the floor. I stood there, bare before him. My eyes searched for the same flame I once felt, and there it was, like a burning ember in dark ocean colored eyes. “You blue eyed devil.” I whispered, my lips curling to one side showing him I was feeling mischievous. Yet, I was still battling with just being with Jasper! Will Greg pick up on it? Did I ruin things? What am I saying?! Greg doesn’t seem to notice…maybe, I just let him believe that? Greg pulled me into his hands on the back of my hips, pushing me into his lap. I wrapped both of my legs around his waist, my bare chest pressing against his. I could feel his heart racing, the heat climbing up from my center. Greg’s chin tilted upwards towards mine, fevered kisses exchanged between us. One of Greg’s hands steadied me from behind, the other getting tangled in my hair, a sense of euphoria overcoming me, it was definitely a weakness of mine. “Yes love, like that.” He groaned as I rocked back and forth, moaning his name in response to him. “Such a good girl…” Those words released a primal need aching to be satisfied as I moaned his name repeatedly, louder as Greg repositioned us, he was now straddling me, and I lost in the pleasure of it all.

—

I grabbed the ATV and enjoyed the wind whip across my face, clutching the strap of Grace’s heel so as not to drop it. I went to knock on the door, when I noticed it was already open and voices inside. “Mrs. Withers?” nothing, “Grace?” I said again, and then I could hear what sounded like a scuff upstairs. Concerned, I practically jumped to the upper landing, when my heart stopped, I could hear Grace. The all too familiar sounds she was singing last night, was she pleasing herself? The thought caused a dark, lustful cloud to sink into me, I had to see. Was she thinking of me already? Curious, I inched closer to her door, silently peeking in, and that’s when everything stopped. Grace was straddling Greg, who was all too pleased with the situation. I froze, motionless, my eyes burning with pain and rage. When reality finally sunk in, I saw Greg lock eyes with me, an evil grin pulled across his face like a viper. “Good girl…” he hummed in her ear, his eyes fixated on me, entertained by the turmoil brewing in my chest. Grace moaned his name in response to him. The way he fluidly pineed her against the bed, as he continued rocking into her hips, the way her face twisted in a pleasure I didn’t recognize last night, a pleasure I couldn’t provide. I turned before the thoughts of murder could turn into reality, dropping her stiletto on the porch step as I rushed to the ATV and revved it angrily as I went full throttle to the ridge top.

—

Greg was definitely getting his fill this morning, and I, well, I was definitely satisfied. Heat like nothing I’ve craved before surging through me. Greg flipped me onto my back, as he now straddled me, my head leaned backwards, pure pleasure coursing through me like the blood in my veins. Greg’s hips, rhythmic. As we came to a slow sweet end, my eyes fluttered open, and I was certain I saw a figure leaving my doorway, but as I shut my eyes and looked again, there wasn’t a trace of anyone. With a hand cradling my neck, Greg met my eyes, “Grace Withers, I love you.” Although Greg had professed his love for me before, this felt different, it felt raw, deep, more real than ever before. I searched for some kind of genuine certainty in his eyes, which I found. “I, I love you too Greg.” My words were like a heavy breath. His lips brushed with joy against mine and we stayed under the sheets, cuddled up like honeybees for probably an hour, until Greg’s phone rang causing a sticky separation between us. “Greg.” He answered, and then sat up. “Yes sir, I’ll be there in a jiffy.” Greg began dressing, “Work?” “Yeah, the banker is really set on your friends’ property and wants an update.” “Well, what’re you going to tell him? Did Jasper agree to it?” A lump of panic in my throat, my voice pitchy. “Relax love, hmm. He’ll come around.” Greg planted a quick kiss and escaped my room, leaving me breathless. The realization crashed down on me like cement. I was in love with both of them! A piece of me longed for that wild, rugged life Jasper could provide, a childhood fantasy. And on the other, I had a successful businessman, hot, caring, and charming. And I’ve been here, playing them both like a fiddle in my selfishness. I knew it was wrong, I knew I had to choose one. Regardless of the consequence, was losing Jasper worth the grandiose lifestyle Greg had to offer? And if not, did I really want to be another generational number in this ghost town? My heart was torn, and I had to make a decision, and fast! It took a while to get motivated after being ruined by two men back to back, not something I’m proud of. Slipping into an oversized shirt and sweats I hopped downstairs to brew some tea, when I noticed Greg left the front door open. As I went to close it, a dark object on the porch caught my eye. What was it? Stepping onto the wooden porch, I stooped down and saw my stiletto. I must’ve dropped it on my way inside.

—

My blood was boiling, I knew it was possible that after everything I just might not be enough, that I wasn’t worthy of her. I left her once, and now I expected her to come waltzing back in, I’m a fool. I revved the ATV to the brink of the line on the gauge. The rush was healing a part of me I didn’t know needed mending. And before I knew it, I was atop the mountainside, where I decided to let the engine cool from my rage inspired ride. I could see the outskirts of town from here, my ranch, Grace’s ranch, and in the far distance the other neighborhoods and the church. I sat with my face in my hands, trying to control my breathing. Trying not to fall apart. Pulling the brim of my hat to shield my eyes from the day’s joyous sunbeams. There was nothing joyful about what I just saw. Greg’s a monster! What kind of man enjoys that?! Greg intentionally made her groan his name, knowing it was the fatal wound that would push me away from Grace. Her happiness was more important than my own, and I had done everything I could to convince her, to show her I was serious about us. While I sat upon the ATV, my ears perked at the sound of a female voice making a yelp, the ones a rider makes when they sync with the movements of their horse. I tried to ignore her, whoever it was, until the sound of hooves clamored closer and closer. Refusing to be seen in such a depressed state, I took a few breaths and scanned over my shoulder to peek at who was approaching. “Well ain’t this a surprise!” That thick, southern accent hit my ears like a breath of fresh air, challenging me to not smirk. “I’m full of surprises Jane!” I hollered over my shoulder. Her hair pulled back in a ponytail, her ballcap framing her heart shaped face perfectly. In a swift motion, she dismounted from her mare, a Tennessee Walker. With a quick sprint, she embraced me into that familiar hug like she did downtown. And I embraced her back, there was comfort with Jane. A soft, healing I didn’t know I needed. I always felt relaxed with her, free from judgement. Her hair smelled of vanilla beans. “What brings you up this way?” Her question was one I wasn’t prepared to answer, I stammered looking for a fair response, a convincing one. “I..well..” Her amber eyes melted me, like she already knew the answer to the question, a silent reassurance that it was okay I couldn’t answer her. “Taking in the scenery.” I finally choked out, “It sure is pretty up here ain’t it?” Her head cocked to the side, “You know, you ain’t got to be this tough guy all the time.” “Tough guy?” I searched her for clarity. “Yeah, you can be real with me Jasper.” She took a step closer, her hand resting on my shoulder, warm, genuine. “You were right.” I confessed, tipping my chin downwards in defeat. “Let her go cowboy.” “How?” I searched for an answer in those eyes that soothed my wounds. “Look, it ain’t easy letting go. Especially if that’s the only love you’ve ever known, felt, believed.” Her eyes dropped, as if she was remembering a pain she buried deep. “You say that like you’ve experienced it…” She didn’t look up at first, “Yeah, you could say I’ve been right where you are now.” Her eyes held off the tears from a trauma she had long forgotten about, “Sometimes, I wish I hadn’t been so scared all those years ago…” She spoke as if watching something from a distance. “You? Scared?” I chuckled, bumping her shoulder with mine, she appreciated the gesture to lighten the mood, “I was, yes.” “And now?” I asked, as if her answer could hold a secret to healing somehow. “Now?” Her eyebrow shot up, “Now, I’m stuck saving cowboys from broken hearts.” Her wittiness never ceased to entertain me. “Well thank God for that!” Jane’s head rested on my shoulder, and we sat, leaning on one another. After what felt like hours of bliss and idle chatter, it was time to part ways. “As Jane stood up, brushing off her jeans, I made an impulsive move, one that could help me to move on, to let go like she said. “Jane?” She sensed the shift in my tone, “How’s about I come pick you up, properly Sunday mornin’?” Her expression was unreadable, as if calculating how to answer. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.” Jane replied, a slow smile growing on her face, one of dimples peeking from her cheek. “Great! I, uh, I’ll see ya then.” “Get home safe cowboy.” She teased as she mounted her horse and escaped down the mountainside. I wasn’t fully healed, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be. However, Jane has a way of melting everything off my shoulders, like I didn’t have to live up to some fantasied expectation. She simply just asks me to be myself, nothing more, nothing less.