Knotted Roots - Part 4

While splashing cold water on my face, I could hear my father talking downstairs and then I heard boots thudding along each aged wooden plank of the stairs. Slow, methodical. I peered through the bathroom door as the figure passed by, it was Grace. I could smell her perfume like the zest of fresh grapefruit. My nose flaring as I took in the scent wafting in the air, I left my shirt ragged, unbuttoned, my pants snug around my hips. I made sure not to make a sound as I shadowed her in the hall. I was taking her in, the way her hips swayed in her daisy dukes. Her hair bouncing off her shoulders. As she pushed open my door seeing my empty bed, I figured what better way to get the drop in on her than now. With a quiet step I closed the distance, pressing my chest to her back and raking my hands down her arms until I interlocked with her fingers. My voice rugged, I whispered “Mornin’ darlin.” Her head leaned back as if granting me permission. Her eyes fluttered closed. I moved her hair to one side and trailed light kisses along her neck until she stepped forward. I gently released her as she spun to face me. “I don’t forgive you.” She rushed, a playful smirk on her lips. “Excuse me?” “You asked me to forgive you last night, well I don’t.” Hesitation ached in my chest, yet I couldn’t help but feel unapologetic. “Why’s that kitten? Is Greg going to be jealous?” I stated bluntly. Grace’s face stiffened when I mentioned Greg, as if a cruel reminder of the fool she was with, or at least that’s my opinion. “Greg is…” “He was a distraction.” I cut in. “Distraction?” I moved closer, my hand reaching to lift her chin, I yearn for the way her eyes are like a doe when I do that, the way she silently begs for it. “You don’t have to explain anything, kitten.” My head leaning towards her, my fingertips trailing along her jaw and down to her collarbone. Hooking the strap of her tank top. “Jasper…” “Tell me Grace, does he make you like this?” “Like what?” “Like this. You’re breathless, anxious in the best way possible.” Her face said it all, her eyes full of need and her body relaxing into my arms. In a moment of desire I kissed her with my soul, passionately. Her hands explored my upper body. “Let me treat you how you deserve.” “And what do I deserve?” Her curiosity pleading with insatiable thirst. I forced myself to let go, steadying her on her feet. I began to button my shirt as I searched for separation. I didn’t want to mark her as mine just yet, I want her to confess she feels as strongly about me as I do about her. Her body says yes, but she’s been giving her heart to another man. Someone who isn’t him. “Why do you do this to me Jasper?” “Do what?” I questioned, brows furrowed as I took in her pained and confused expression. “Tease.” I stopped midway, frozen as I took in her pained words. “You think I just want to tease you?” A dark, almost cruel tone slipped from my lips. “Forget it…” She whispered “Oh like how you forget who Greg is when you’re around me?” My words were like a slap to her perfectly rounded face. “Greg is a great man.” “Just not great in bed huh?” Her face was in utter shock as even I was surprised I spoke the words aloud. “This was a mistake.” Grace’s pained whisper shattered me, and I watched as she scurried off into her truck and drove away.

Well, that could’ve gone better. I just couldn’t bring myself to continue not like that. If only she knew she was wasting her time on this Greg guy, that I want to take her out on a proper date, to cherish her. Leave it to me to say something stupid and muck it all up. Frustrated I went to the barn to do my daily chores, distract myself with another ride with Crimson maybe. However, I just couldn’t shake how badly my words wounded her. I need to make this right. But how? Like a thunderstorm, I clamored into the house, rummaging the cabinets for any whiskey. “Jasper? What’s got you in a hussy?” “Not now Pa.” I groaned, as I finally poured Angel's Envy into a whiskey glass. “You’ve been walking in a storm cloud all day. Why don’t you sit down and let’s talk?” Pa was too frail to be worrying about me, but I could tell his concern was not going to sway easily, and perhaps he had advice for me, I mean, I’m sure him and Ma didn’t always get along. “Well, I’m an idiot.” I blurted, taking a burning sip of the amber liquor soothing my sorrows. Pa scoffed at my words, as he thankfully took the glass of whiskey I poured for him, “Is she okay?” Pa asked, as if knowing Grace and I were arguing this morning. “I mean, something had to happen to make her scurry outta' her with her tail tucked like a scared dog.” Pa’s description of Grace left me pained and full of rage. “I’ve seen a storm like that before, Jasper.” Glancing over at Pa, I gulped down the remaining booze in my glass. The smoky flavor of oak, like roasting s'mores over a fire. “I shouldn’t feel bad for saying the truth!” My voice boomed. “Jealousy is a dangerous beast Jasper.” “I’m not jealous Pa, she needed to hear it. She needed to hear how Greg is a poor candidate for her!” “And you are?” Pa’s words stunned me, “Well, yeah! What are you saying? I’m your son! You should be on my side here!” “Well, Jasper, you did leave unannounced for years. No letters, no phone calls…what is she to believe?” My face became expressionless. Pa was right, I never told anyone about anything. I always shut everything out and acted on impulse until I learned of my father’s illness. “You know, when I was with your mother, long before we married. I said things, did things, that really hurt your mother. I left unseen scars. I often wondered if I was worthy of her. But she always found it in her heart to forgive me. And I always found a way to be a better man, not only for her, but for myself.” Pa’s anecdote began to settle within, perhaps my father and I were more alike than I had thought. “I need a way to ask her Pa, what do I do?” “You’ve got to find something, something with meaning to it. Grab her attention, and then your heart will help you with the rest.” Resonating on Pa’s words for a moment, I nodded as if accepting the harsh lesson.

The remainder of the day between chores and caring for the animals, I thought of what I should do. At sunset I retired to the home office, where I found some parchment and a pen. A letter might be curious. After a few scribbled lines and paper balls tossed aside, I finally found what I wanted to say. I sealed the envelope off with hot wax. Instead of using our family crest, I used a rose stamp. The letter went into the mailbox and I went to bed, eager to await a new start and forget this day.

—-

Grace was on the porch sipping on sweet tea as the postman stopped at their mailbox, quickly shoveling envelopes in the metal box and driving off with a friendly wave. Still wearing an oversized shirt and sweatpants, her hair sloppily swept up. It was the silence, no conversations, no arguments, nothing. Just the mere sounds of nature. When Grace retrieved the mail and was sifting through the envelopes, mostly for her parents, her heart skipped when she came across a black envelope. How odd she thought, realizing it was addressed to her. Her mind immediately wandered to who would’ve sent such an exotic envelope, “Greg!” She exclaimed as if remembering how odd he could be at times, all in the name of romance according to him. A giddy smile erupted, erasing the doubts Jasper gave her about Greg yesterday.

“I cannot escape the fatal wound of losing you. If you’d be so kind, meet me in the meadow at nine.” No signature, no identifying marks, but Grace was certain Greg was behind this. It wasn’t unlike him to send random romantic gifts. Once she received a bundle of white roses with blue dye on the edges, personally delivered to my doorstep. Her fingers rubbed across the parchment, feeling the silky texture. The letter lured her in. “What’s that you got there?” Grace’s mother piped, interrupting her daydreams. “It’s just another odd love note from Greg.” Grace exclaimed, a happiness bubbling in her voice. “Ah, I see. Well…” Her mother’s eyes darted away, as if disappointed. “Greg’s not that bad mother!” Grace stated, her smile unable to be swept off. “Your happiness is the only thing that matters dear.” Grace’s mother attempted to appease her saddened heart by dismissing her dissatisfaction to honor her daughter’s wishes. “Well, what are you wearing? It sounds like a lovely date night, perhaps a proposal.” Her mother’s words teased, a small smile of genuine love for her daughter pulling upwards. “Oh bless my heart! You might be right Mama!” Grace’s joy radiated from within, it was a beautiful distraction from Jasper, and a reminder that she already had everything she desired! Jasper was simply attractive, the bad boys that all girls want a taste of, the type of man all girls dream of. Chiseled muscular build, unapologetically real, and commanding. Greg had all of those qualities, but he had a different aura about him. He was gentle, caring, and polished. He worked in the city, friends with the most influential people in town. This was a good relationship, one that could bring her to more than just hay bales and rodeos. Although she did enjoy those things, seeked adventure, and she saw herself traveling with Greg. “Oh? Speak of the devil himself” My mother peering through the window, glanced over at me. “Why don’t you run upstairs Grace, I’ll delay him for a moment.” Smiling, I rushed upstairs and into the bathroom. “Mrs. Withers! It’s always a pleasure to see you.” Greg swooned, kissing Mrs. Wither’s hand with a gentleness. “I do love our moments to share and bask in this beautiful home, but I was hoping to speak with Grace.” While my mother charmed Greg with tea, I was rushing to change into a cute cut off shirt and daisy dukes, finishing the last line of lipstick I waltzed downstairs. “Greg! What a pleasant surprise!” Greg swooped Grace up in his arms and twirled her around with a playful kiss. “Come love, I want to share something with you.” Greg motioned like a gentleman towards the front door and ushered me outside. “What’s all this about Greg? You’re never in a rush like this.” My giddiness nearly jumped from my lips, in disbelief that today could be the day Greg proposes! But, let’s not get ahead of ourselves now Grace, he hasn’t even said anything yet. “Well, you know I work with the bank and lawyers in town?” “Yeah?” “Well, word on the street is that your neighbor’s ranch will be quite the asset. Heard the old man is getting old, ill. Well you seem to know the young man living there.” “What’re you gettin’ at Greg?” Grace could sense a level of unease. “Well, I was hoping to talk with him. The big wigs in town are eager to get their hands on the property and think your friend, Justin was it? Well, it doesn't matter, they think he’ll settle for, let's say, enough money to forget the troubles of this place. And the firm is wanting to give us the property if I can close this deal!” Grace’s heart sunk, the ground giving out beneath her. So what’d ya say darlin? Can we go and talk with him?” Greg's voice pulled me out of my despair. The man I loved before me is asking me to meet with my childhood best friend to buy him out of his birthright, and for what? So that he and I can live there? The deal bothered Grace to her core, but she knew that if Greg didn’t close the deal, his career would be at stake. “Sure, I’ll see what I can do. And Greg…” “Yes?” “His name is Jasper, you outta’ remember than when you go begging for his property.” Greg nodded as if he heard me, with a sigh he took both of my hands into his, “Grace, darlin’. You have no idea what this means for me, for us.” Grace wasn’t sure what changed, but something about Greg seemed desperate, his hair almost too greasy. And the way he said “Darlin’” used to spark fireworks, and Grace was struggling to erase Jasper’s husky voice. It was as if she could still feel the heat of his breath on her neck. “Grace?” “Yes, sorry..I’ll go over right away and speak with him.” Grace patted Greg’s hands and began to quickly escape. She needed space, air. “Great! I’m coming with you, I mean I am the one asking him to sign his birthright away, it seems only right to be there.” Greg’s persistence on the matter was unmatched, and if she deterred him, she feared he might suspect something. Was there something to even suspect? I mean it’s like a line Jasper toes on. How does he expect me to react when he comes on so hot and heavy, and then breaks off like it’s a mistake? Besides, I’m happy with Greg. Just then, Greg braced the low of my back with his hand, planting a grateful kiss on my forehead. “I’ll let your mother know that we are going on a little adventure, to properly introduce myself to your friend.” Greg’s words had a menacing taste to them; something about this seemed like I was committing an unforgivable sin. “You two don’t have too much fun now ya’ hear!” My parents chuckled as they waved us off. Climbing into Greg’s mustang, the drive was a blur, my heart racing, and a flicker of fear of how Jasper might react crept into my throat.