Kia Ford: The Hammer Girl's English Premiere Production

Arms sternly folded; Boyle Sports surveyed the area, calculating the damage that occurred over the weekend.

“Kia Ford,” the English Premiere Estates proprietor bellowed, “what do you mean no goals?”

Coming out from the darkness Kia Ford emerged, “well, sir, they were two young kids coming off a horrendous performance and I gave a redemption opportunity.”

“A second chance!” Boyle Sports increased his volume, “your kind gesture gift resulted in two goals.”

“They were happy and,” Kia Ford positively acknowledged, “they went home, not alone.”

Releasing the strict stance Boyle Sports issued a sentence, “Kia Ford, your theater major background may come in handy when I send you out on assignment, I want you to meet Old Trafford, he runs the Theater of Dreams.”

“You mean the red devil?” Kia Ford, searched for clarification.

“Theater of Dreams owner,” Boyle Sports corrected, “may I remind you hammer girl; you are in relegation and are at my beck and call.”

Taking the order in stride, Kia Ford started appointment preparation, by pulling a white uniform off the rack, removing it from the closet.

“I am going to show Old Trafford my innocent side,” Kia Ford decided, “and then hopefully leave with a goal along with three points.” Bags packed carrying a knapsack filled with mountain climbing equipment; the Peacock joined Kia Ford, leaving the flat.

“What are you doing with all those props?” Kia Ford asked.

Resourceful tactics surfaced, as the Peacock quickly blurted out the excuse, “going to audition for a romantic comedy, "The Mountain Climber’s Sweet Peaks”.

As the mid-week engagement arrived, Kia Ford approached the gigantic marquee entry, announcing, “Theater of Dreams”. Alone, since the Peacock decided to go off in another direction, carrying out his business somewhere else, Kia Ford browsed the thespian friendly museum style presentation, flying solo and for the first half nothing really happened.

Following intermission, the curtain raised, revealing Old Trafford, wearing a headset and scarlet eyes glaring, “something I must admit I have had good times and bad, hammer girl,”

“Well, I am playing a character facing relegation, right now”

“Yes,” Old Trafford smirked, “Relegation and its almost Boxing Day.”

“Exactly,” Kia Ford dropped her guard.

“That is one of my goals today is to see you in the gutter or as the French would say,” grinned the Red Devil leader, “Dato.”

As an American, the non-supportive comment did not translate, and Kia Ford stayed quiet until the production ended.

“Kia Ford, you out there?” Old Trafford made the shield the eyes salute gesture, wondering if the star-spangled banner waved its colors as an audience member.

“No, I am over here,” an invisible voice exclaimed, “and my name is not Kia Ford, its Magasso, a Polynesian from Mozambique.”

“A Polynesian,” Old Trafford seemed startled, “from Mozambique, that role is new to me.”

“First time ever,” Kia Ford boasted hearing feathers clap, “and that my dear Old Trafford makes us level.”

“So, Kia Ford, the hammer girl is leaving the building with a goal,”

“And a point,” Kia Ford replied, reuniting with her sidekick.

“You still are in relegation,” Old Trafford reminded the pair.

Once outside, Kia Ford and the Peacock started talking, “are you sure it's almost Boxing Day? It’s so warm,”

“You have relegation fever,” the Peacock diagnosed.

“How did your audition go?”

“They may or may not call,” the Peacock honestly answered heading down the street.

“I think reflection upon this relegation thing, now is a priority,” Kia Ford paused, “down at the beach.”

“Feeding the seagulls goals is good for the soul,” the Peacock quipped getting the Kia Ford evil stare.