IT'S A DIRTY JOB

Camp Honey Pot was all abuzz with whisperings of a diabolical axe murderer roaming the grounds after I had discovered a Peeping Tom looking into the cabin as my girls slept. Everyone was suddenly an expert in security and investigation. My girls were with me when I reported to work at 7 AM. I planned on keeping them with me all day, no matter how bored they became or how much they complained.

Janie and Linda were having coffee in the dining room when we arrived. "Hey, Karol!" Janie called out, "heard about the commotion. Are the girls okay?"

"Yeah, they slept through it all. Thank God I caught him just in time. Those cabin locks are meant to keep out raccoons, not perverts."

"Mommy, what's a pervert?" Beanie asked.

"Oh, just a name for a bad man," I replied, not wanting to delve into criminal minds and disgusting behavior before breakfast.

"Mommy, I saw a man with a naked belly hanging out of his pants this morning. He was watching us. Is that a pervert?" Katie wanted to know.

"No, honey, he is one of the good guys. He chased a man who I thought was being bad."

"Oh, sorry. He just looked kind of icky."

"Well, don't judge people by how they look-- or dress. He was trying to watch out for us."

"Oh. Okay. I hope he doesn't try to hug me," Katie complained.

"Why, Katie? Does anyone here try to hug you?" I asked with alarm.

"Just Emily's grandpa. Ugh. He smells funny and he has a fuzzy beard. He tries to get Beanie to sit on his lap. I don't let her," she informed me, sending me into a panic.

"When did he do that?" I demanded.

"At the movie. He kept grabbing her and calling her, "Honey."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I didn't think it was bad until this morning. Do you think he was being a pervert? Isn't that what they do?"

"Some of them do. But, you were with a lot of people. I don't think perverts try to do bad things when a lot of people can see them. I will speak to Emily's mother about it though."

My mind was reeling from that information. Oh, my God! I was going to let Beanie spend the night in their camper with that man. How could I trust people I didn't know anything about? After being married for so long I had lost my ability to protect myself and the girls-- always expecting their dad to take care of that.

Not only would I have to provide for us materially and emotionally, but I also had to be the family protector. It overwhelmed me and I was shaking when Mike took our breakfast orders.

"Hey, Karol. I heard what happened. I'm glad you caught the guy before anything happened. The boss asked me if I'd volunteer to do a walk-through every couple of hours at night until they met with their finance guy to figure out how to hire security. All the maintenance guys are going to help too."

"Oh, wow. That's great. Who would have thought we'd have to worry about something like this?" I whined.

"It's a sign of the times, I guess. I'm not surprised. You want the same breakfast for everyone?"

"Yeah, Mike. Thank you. But, I want some of those scrambled eggs with bacon, so you'll have some extra bacon grease for later."

"Sure thing. You and the girls find a table and I'll bring it over. You're shaking so hard you'll spill all my good cooking."

I giggled nervously and herded the girls to a small table in the back. Yesterday I would have been thrilled with the length of my conversation with Mike. Today, though, I just wanted to talk with Matt and tell him what happened. If I had asked him to spend the night, maybe none of this would have happened.

"Beanie, quit it," Katie snapped.

"I'm not doing anything," Beanie whined.

"You're kicking me."

"Am not," Beanie pouted, sticking her tongue out at her sister.

"Beanie. Behave. Stop kicking Katie."

"But, I'm not!!" she wailed.

Katie ducked her head under the table and immediately jumped up from her seat, "Mom! There's, there's a skunk under our table!" she screamed, running toward the door.

"Oh, my God!" I screamed, yanking Beanie from her seat and following Katie out the door, practically knocking Mike over as he was shuffling our breakfasts to the table, "Mike, skunk, skunk!!"

Soon there was a line of hysterical diners cowering outside the restaurant while the maintenance men streamed in looking like Wild West bandits, with handkerchiefs over their faces and pool cleaning nets outstretched. Oh, no! It would be weeks before anyone would be able to eat here. Poor Mike!