Is This What Faith Looks Like?

I used to study in a well known girls school in a small town surrounded by hills
I joined in class 4 and I stayed in the school hostel

Everything felt new and unfamiliar
the place the people the rules
I tried to adjust but I was never really like the other kids

I used to stay alone most of the time
I didn’t talk much
I wasn’t active like them
I wasn’t smart or good at anything
I didn’t smile much either

Maybe that’s why one of the sisters from the hostel told my dad I was like my grandpa
like I had some kind of brain disorder or something
just because I was different from the other students out there
At that time, I didn’t understand what she meant. I just knew it didn’t feel nice to hear. Later, I found out my grandfather had some kind of mental illness, and suddenly it felt like they were comparing me to him. Like they were saying I was not okay too.

And all of that just because I wasn’t like the other kids. Just because I didn’t smile or laugh like them or run around making noise. I was just different.
She never came and spoke to me. Never asked how I was feeling. Never asked why I was so silent. She just looked from far and decided I had a problem.

It’s kind of crazy how people can label you so quickly
just because you don’t fit into their version of normal

The only time I used to smile was when my mom and dad came to visit me
that was the only time I felt like I mattered
like someone actually saw me

But I still remember what that sister said to my dad
she told him I was like my grandfather
that maybe something was wrong with me
and they should probably keep me somewhere else
not in the hostel

At that age I didn’t even understand what she meant
but it didn’t feel nice
Later I found out my grandfather had mental health issues
and I realized they compared me to him just because I was quiet and stayed to myself

She never talked to me
never asked me how I was doing
she just assumed things about me based on nothing

I still don’t understand why people are like that
so fast to judge
maybe it gives them a sense of control
or maybe they’re just afraid of what they can’t understand
What surprised me the most was that she was someone who worshipped God
someone who was supposed to be kind and understanding
but she judged me so harshly without even knowing me

I thought people like her were meant to show love and care
but instead she made me feel like something was wrong with me
just because I was quiet and different

It really made me question how someone who prays every day
who talks about faith and compassion
could be so cold to a child.
But now
I have realize that being different is not a flaw it is a kind of strength And now when I look back I do not feel anger as much as I feel pity for people who choose to break others just to feel whole themselves.
I’m not writing this to spread hate or point fingers
I’m just sharing what I went through
what I kept inside for so long

If even one person reads this and feels understood
feels a little less alone
then maybe that’s enough(:



.THANK YOU♡.