I Know You Can Hear Me!

21 August 2023

“I know you can hear me!” yelled the elderly woman.

She simply ignored the comment from the living room as she continued to butter the toast.

“Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me,” was repeated in a moaning, weak voice for at least five minutes straight.

Ellie just continued to work on preparing the old woman’s breakfast. Tyler looked at her from the kitchen table and as if on instinct her eyes looked up to meet his. He connected with her eyes. She looked as if she was about to cry. More than anything he wanted to make it so she wouldn’t but this was a battle she had to face. He met her gaze and just sighed and shook his head slightly.

“Ellie, I can’t believe you would treat someone like this,” yelled the elderly woman in a loud, strong, angry voice this time from the living room followed by a chorus in a weak have pity on me voice of “Please help me.”

“Mom, I told you I am making your breakfast and I will be getting you out of bed in a few minutes!” shouted Ellie relieving some of the pent up frustration.

“Okay, I just needed help with something and thought you would want to help me. It would only take a minute then you can get back to what you were doing.”

Ellie with an audible sigh put down what she was working on and walked with a purpose into the living room. She went up to the hospital bed and looked the old woman in the eyes; in her faded blue eyes. She just lied in her bed covered to her chest with blankets staring up at her daughter. Her face was deeply grooved with years of existence; her hands boney and covered with liver spots; her hair a silver cottony poof in the mess of one who had been asleep for hours. Her toothless mouth just hung open. Ellie felt much for this remains of the woman she had known.

“What do you want?”

“I was going to ask you to help me with my bed.”

“What about your bed?”

“I was going to ask you to raise my head a little.”

“Mom, I don’t have time for this. I have to finish breakfast and get you ready for your ride.”

“It’s just a little favor I thought you could do for me.”

“Mom, your control is right there. You can’t just push the button?”

“I thought you could do it for me. I’m feeling a little weak.”

“Give it to me,” demanded Ellie as she put out her hand for the elderly woman to hand her the control.

Without any signs of struggling or being weak the older woman handed her daughter the control for the bed. Ellie pushed the button to raise the head.

“Let me know when it is right.”

Instead of responding the older woman just remained quiet.

“Well, is this high enough?” asked Ellie having released the button knowing from experience her mom never liked it too high.

“Yes, I think this will do. Did you give me my pill for…”

“Yes, mom, I have already given you all the pills I am supposed to at this time. You can’t have anymore medication until later,” replied Ellie cutting off the old woman.

“I remember a patch you give me for pain.”

“Mom, I have never used a patch on you.”

“I know that you have.”

“Mom, we are running out of time,” said Ellie in a vain attempt to get everything back on track. “We have an hour to get you ready for your ride if they come at the regular time.”

“I just need you to help me a little. You never do anything for me.”

“I’m going to finish your breakfast and then we are getting you up.”

There was a definite tone of hurt anger in Ellie’s voice as the old woman realized she made a direct hit.

“Please help me. It’s just a little favor. I won’t ask anymore. It is just this one time. I promise I won’t ask for anything else,” continued the elderly woman as Ellie went into the kitchen to finish preparing her mother’s breakfast.

“I won’t ask you again. I promise. Oh, why won’t you help me? Please help me.”

Ignoring the incessant pleading Ellie continued with her task as a tear worked its way out and down her cheek.

“I don’t deserve to be treated this way! I can’t believe you are my daughter. How can you do this to me?”

“What seems to be the problem Janet?” asked Tyler as he approached her bed.

She looked at the sixty year old man with short cut graying hair which was very thin in some spots on his head.

“My, my bed is up too high. Can you lower it for me?”

“You are perfectly capable of doing it for yourself.”

“I know but I hurt all over. Please help me. Help me Tyler.”

“Ellie is almost done and you will be getting up to eat very soon,” responded Tyler in a calm and patient voice as he looked to the dining room and saw Ellie placing the old woman’s breakfast on the table.

“I just need you to do this for me Tyler. Why can’t you help me? Please help me.”

“If it was that important to you, you could have just pushed the button yourself” said Tyler in a calm tone as he turned to walk away.

“Please help me. Please help me,” continued the elderly woman without stopping.

“I am helping you, Janet. You need to do much more for yourself. That is what every doctor and nurse has told you,” replied Tyler at the dining room’s entryway.

He turned and entered the dining room to check on Ellie. He saw what remained of a trail of a tear which stained her cheek he immediately knew Janet had struck another blow. He gave her a quick but welcomed firm hug. She hugged him back.

“Are you ready for me to help you with her?”

“Yes, but she needs to do more for herself. I’ll direct her while you hold onto the wheelchair and make sure it is in the right place.”

“Sure, same old, same old,” responded Tyler quietly with a supportive smile.

Ellie didn’t respond to his comment at all. She finished placing her mother’s breakfast on the table in the dining room as Tyler used the remote to turn the television mounted on the wall to Janet’s favorite morning channel where the morning show host was yammering excitedly about some cheap looking plastic gizmo another excited person was hawking for ridiculous prices but with deep discounts if you act now because everyone must have these to make their lives easier. Then he took the wheelchair and met Ellie by her mother’s hospital style bed.

“Here, let me help you sit up while I spin your legs over the side of the bed,” said Ellie as she helped her mom to position herself sitting up on the side of the bed.

Tyler moved the wheelchair into position.

“Now I need you to hold onto the armrest of the wheelchair with your left hand,” explained Ellie to her mom.

Janet did as she was told and took hold of the wheelchair’s armrest and in following Ellie’s directions she stood up and pivoted enough to place her ancient bottom upon the seat of the chair.

“Oh, oh, it hurts,” she said in her normal tone as she transferred her weight from her legs to her bottom and put pressure on a bed sore which she had gotten while being inactive in a nursing home at Penn’s Knob.

“Okay, I’m going to lift you and place you in your seat,” said Tyler leaning over the back of the chair.

He placed his arms under Janet’s armpits and lifted her up while pulling her further back in the chair. She was sitting upon the cushion on her chair properly and the pressure was off that point. Seeing that Janet was okay Tyler went back to the end of the kitchen table to finish going over some budget details while Ellie wheeled her mom to the dining room table.

Both the kitchen and the dining room were bright with natural light. Over the sink was a window which looked out onto the side yard. In the corner which Tyler like to refer to as the ‘breakfast nook’ but it wasn’t—he often thought of turning the area into one—there were two large windows forming the corner of the room looking out onto the side yard and over the back patio loaded with various plants which Ellie had collected including her banana tree. In the dining room there was a bulge at the end facing the street. Two sections of wall formed forty-five degree angles connecting to a third section of wall which was parallel to the front of the house forming a large alcove or bay which had three large windows looking out onto the front street then there was a fourth on the side wall facing the path leading to the door.

They had fallen in love with the house because of how all the rooms just glowed with natural light pouring in from all of the windows. It was going to be their retirement home. Tucked away in a small town of Mann surrounded by the tree covered ridges of the Allegheny Mountains they thought it would be a great place for family gatherings and it was. With its large yard surrounded by a white fence they could finally get the dogs they had wanted. It had a large shed to house their mowers, trimmers, picnic tables and outdoor chairs. It had a second floor with a nicely lit master bedroom, room for an office and library as well as a nice guest room. It wasn’t ideal but to Ellie and Tyler it was very close to what they had both pictured for years while renting and trying to get their finances in order.

Tyler returned to working on the family finances and budget while Ellie proceeded to feed her eighty-three year old mom. Janet just sat in her wheelchair. She was in bad shape. Her condition reminded Tyler of mummies he had seen; not so much her face but her arms and legs except with far more color.

“Let’s start with some of this,” suggested Ellie offering her mom some water from a cup.

Janet sipped a little through a red plastic straw. It was the kind which bent.

“I thought I would make you some oatmeal with peaches and cream,” said Ellie hopefully.

Janet tried the spoonful which Ellie held to her mouth.

Letting her mom chew it and waiting for her to swallow it Ellie suggested, “Here mom, take a sip of water.”

“Can I have some of my coffee instead?”

“Sure,” replied Ellie as she reached for the cup and assisted as the frail woman took a drink.

“Would you like some of your toast?”

“I know I don’t want anymore of that other stuff you gave me.”

“What, the oatmeal?”

“You keep feeding that to me and I would like something different.”

“Mom, this is the first time I ever made this for you.”

“I know it isn’t. You fed that to me yesterday and the day before and all last week.”

“Mom, we just bought it last night.”

“Whatever you want to think—you’re always right.”

“Mom, I fed you scrambled eggs with cheese for the last week and you started to complain about it so I thought this would be a nice change. You used to like this style oatmeal a lot.”

“I don’t remember that. But I do remember you feeding me nothing but this.”

Ellie turned and looked at Tyler who looked up just as she looked at him as on practiced purpose. He just shook his head a little with a slight sigh.

“Well, do you want anymore of it now?”

“No, I’ll just eat my toast. Do you have my pills for me?”

“Yes, I have the rest of your morning medication but eat your toast first. I don’t want to give you all this medicine on an empty stomach.”

“I could sure use those pills right now.”

“Mom, I have to prepare them so why don’t you eat your toast.”

Janet gave in and reached for a piece of cinnamon toast. Ellie proceeded to place Janet’s pills into a plastic pill crusher. She placed on the top which screws on and presses down to crush the pills. She started crushing the pills.

“Are you getting my pills? I could sure use them.”

“I have them right here,” responded Ellie as she continued to pulverize the pills by loosening the top and shaking the pieces around and then reapplying the pressure by screwing the cap down. Finally satisfied that the pills had been reduced to small enough pieces she removed the cap and poured the powder into a small cup. Into this cup she mixed some vanilla pudding. After stirring it up very well she fed it to her mother.

Ellie then took her mother back into the living room and helped her onto the bed so she could change her diaper. After a fairly easy change she helped her mom back into the wheelchair and started to dress her for her day. Using water in a spray bottle Ellie wetted her mother’s hair down and combed it.

“Get me a tissue.”

Ellie handed her a tissue and continued on with the task of dressing her. Tyler was impressed that other than the demand for a tissue Janet didn’t show any signs of discomfort or pain as she was being attended.

“Don’t forget to draw in my eyebrows.”

“I won’t but let’s get you dressed first.”

“Okay, just don’t forget them.”

“Hey Tyler, could you come here and help my mom stand while I pull up her slacks?”

Tyler came in and lifted the woman from behind with his arms under her arms allowing Ellie to pull up her mom’s pants. Once she had them situated just right Tyler lowered Janet back onto the seat of the wheelchair. When she was done dressing her mom including the eyebrows Ellie rolled her back out into the dining room where she had a local anesthetic cream to smear on her mom’s fistula which appeared as an elongated fleshy bump about two inches long on her arm almost perfectly centered between Janet’s wrist and elbow. It is the result of a procedure done on people with renal failure to help with dialyses. She had had a plastic tube sticking out of her but the fistula had taken the place of the tube.

“Now make sure you get it up here,” said Janet pointing to her shoulder.

“Mom, I know they don’t inject you up that far. They just do the fistula.”

“I should know. I’m the one who gets the needles, not you,” complained Janet defensively.

“Mom, you have never come home from dialyses with bandages any place other than your fistula.”

“Whatever you want to believe; I know what they do to me.”

Ellie just continued on with the morning routine as she ignored her mother and grabbed some cellophane wrap to wrap about her arm sealing the fistula with the local anesthetic. She then gently pulled down Janet’s sleeve over the top of the cellophane.

“Make sure you make them dark enough,” demanded Janet as Ellie started to draw on Janet’s eyebrows.

Her face was almost devoid of any color other than her pale blue eyes and a slight pink hue to her otherwise white face which was filled with wrinkles. Tyler had always thought Janet’s drawn on eyebrows made her looked like the police commissioner from the DePatie-Freleng Enterprise cartoon shorts, “The Inspector” released by United Artist during the 1960s. Ellie had told him that that was not funny even though in private it did make her smile.

“Tyler, can you help me with her strap?”

“Sure,” answered Tyler quickly as he got up and moved over to the back of Janet’s wheel chair.

He took the strap and made sure it was straightened out so it would lie flat against Janet. With Ellie standing in front of Janet Tyler handed her the strap over Janet’s head while maintaining his grip on the ends and Ellie guided it to place about Janet’s stomach just below her breast as Tyler lowered his parts in unison with Ellie and brought his ends around the back of the chair and then slipped the bare end through the clasp and gently tightened it to be just slightly snug.

Ellie told Tyler, “Thank You,” as he made his way back to his task of planning the finances.

“Where would you like your chair?” asked Ellie.

Janet just looked at her for a few seconds, “It’s fine right here.”

Ellie went back to work cleaning up from her mom’s breakfast.

“Please help me, please help me,” emanated from where Ellie had left Janet.

Ellie rolled her eyes as her mom started to make a forced sobbing sound. Ellie looked at her mom and then Tyler who returned her gaze while slowly shaking his head.

“What is wrong now mom?”

“This strap is too tight. I can’t catch my breath,” said Janet while continuing the tearless audible sobbing.

“What do you mean you can’t catch your breath? You seem to be breathing just fine,” responded Ellie.

“How do you know how I am breathing? You’re not me.”

“Mom, you wouldn’t be able to speak if you couldn’t breathe, especially in a clear voice you are speaking now.”

“You believe what you want to, but I can’t breath.”

Ellie looked to Tyler and Tyler answered, “She’s breathing fine. If that belt were to be any more loose it would be more dangerous than helpful.”

Ellie nodded in agreement but Tyler got up and came over and cinched around the belt a little without loosening it. He just moved it from left to right and then back again from the rear of the chair.

“Is that better?” asked Tyler.

“Oh my word yes, I can breathe again,” said Janet.

Ellie smiled at Tyler and he returned her smile before heading back to his work while Ellie continued cleaning up.

“I think they forgot me.”

“They didn’t forget you,” answered Tyler without looking up from his math, “It isn’t even the normal time they get here.”

“What time do they normally come?”

“In about ten minutes,” called Ellie from the kitchen.

“I don’t remember waiting this long. Are you sure they are coming?” asked Janet, “I think they forgot about me. Maybe you should call them and see if they are coming?”

“I’m not calling them. It only takes twenty to thirty minutes to get you to dialysis. Your chair time isn’t even until ten thirty and it is only just now nine. You have plenty of time,” explained Ellie in a tone which was starting show the strains of trying to maintain patience.

“Surely if you would call them they would know that I’m ready and come faster.”

“We’re not calling them,” replied Tyler, “It won’t make a difference at all. Besides, I think I see them coming now.”

A large white bus like vehicle pulled up in front of their house. Ellie went to the door and opened the inner door and unlocked the screen door. She then moved Janet into place at the door. As Ellie did this the driver of the vehicle had dismounted and moved to the back of the bus and swung open the two rear doors and lowered the wheel chair lift. When Ellie saw the driver heading for the gate in front of her home she instinctively opened the screen stop and pushed the small door stop ring into position on the return piston to keep the door open in place.

“Hey Janet, how are you today?” asked the driver in a pleasant, cheerful tone.

“I thought you forgot about me?”

“How could I forget you?”

“Well, you’re late.”

“No, actually, I’m about ten minutes early for your scheduled pick up time.”

“You had me worried.”

Ellie just looked at the driver with an understanding smile.

“We’ll probably be back at the regular time,” offered the driver.

“Thank you,” answered Ellie.

“I’m so glad you came when you did. You wouldn’t believe what goes on in that house.”

“Oh,” responded the driver as he maneuvered her chair onto the lift and secured it.

Last thing Ellie heard as she closed the door was her mom telling the driver how mean and hateful Ellie is to her. Tyler saw the tears start flowing and got up immediately to be there for her.

“You know how she is.”

“I know but it still hurts.”