I Hold You With Me (CH 37)

“Asmath drew a letter from beneath her robes, and I took the paper from her hands. What I held came from the light of my life and I gazed long upon it. Then I opened it and read the elegant words my love had written me.”

“‘If I died from missing you, I would not be able to share my thoughts. You must hear them now, though they are bold. I hope you can forgive me, but as God gave me this tongue, I will use it in praise of you.’”

“‘Having seen the loveliness of your gem-like brilliance in the palace, I am certain my tears did not flow in vain. I am thankful you urged your horse home so quickly, for I enjoyed looking on you freshly returned from battle. You are fair to my eyes. Put your grief away and weep no more from this day.’”

“‘While you were gone, the sun made a garden of rose and jet for you, which resides in my heart. My soul belongs to none other than you. Now, give me the veil you wore today, so I may keep it as my own. You will see me wearing what was yours, and I will feel as if you hold me. In turn, I will give you this armlet, which is my favorite above all things I own. Bind it around yourself and cherish it as you love me. This way, you will never spend another night wholly separated from me.’”

“‘You will have what is mine, and I will rest safely wrapped within what is yours. Together we will hold one another, no matter how far apart. Know too, there will be those who look on you and curse whoever looks on me, but do not let them disturb you. Lions do not concern themselves with the desires of scavengers.’”

Tariel stopped speaking then and took something from his arm before pressing it to his lips. Then, he held it out to Avtandil, who could not believe his eyes. He was looking at the armlet of Nestan. It seemed to be made from a stream of woven gold. Jewels appeared to move in and out of it, shifting and shining with multicolored hues.

Asmath wept as she reached out and closed Tariel’s hands over the armlet. He choked back sobs as she did so, and she embraced him, stroking his hair, and speaking soothing words through her tears. He shuddered with the effort of maintaining his composure, and after a moment, spoke again.

“I still live, though the earth drinks of my blood, yet I am fortunate to find myself in the company of friends unmet. The one joy remaining to me is seeing your face. Though I behave like a madman, you did not abandon me. You sit beside me in this cave, listening to my woe. Perhaps I am not so abandoned by Fate as I think. I will continue this tale of the woman who I am buried for.”

“I told you of the gift given to me, but I had something of my own to give. I immediately removed the strange and mysterious dark veil and cloak I wore and handed it to Asmath. After, I wrote a letter, saying the words I now recite to you.”

“‘Your first words were like an elixir to me, lifting me from the depths of the darkness I suffered in your absence. The rays which shine from you strike me deeply. For all my prowess in battle, I am brought to nothing before your beauty. What service can I offer in exchange for the life your love restored to me?’”

“‘Your hand released me from a prison no other was able to open. Your armlet is now with me, and my spirit soars like a falcon. As I gave my heart, so do I hope you will receive this veil. More, I will gift you a cloak of the same strange material, for you also keep my soul. In all the world, you will find nothing finer or rarer than this. Nor will you find a love equal to mine. But I beg you, do not leave me alone these days, for who else can I submit to?’”

“I gave Asmath my letter when I finished, along with the veil and cloak. She rose from her seat and gracefully left my chambers. For me, I caressed the bracelet Nestan gave me and fell into a pleasant sleep. Later, I found her in my dreams but awoke to find her not with me. When I could not find my way back to the dream, I lay awake, thinking of her.”

“Though her voice and touch were still on me, it was no comfort. I passed the night holding my hand around the armlet and lamenting the burden of life without her beside me.”