Chapter of My Life

Life on campus was a simple affair for someone like me, born into a modest family. Yet, within the humble surroundings of my dorm room, a fierce determination burned within me. It was a resolve to emulate the girl in the room next door – the one who seemed to effortlessly possess both beauty and intellect. However, my brain, it appeared, was an uncooperative partner in this endeavor. It would sulk whenever I attempted to study, displaying a stubborn streak that rejected my every effort. Whenever I tried to nourish it with knowledge, my thoughts wandered aimlessly, devoid of a true anchor. I found myself wondering aloud, "Must I search far and wide for contentment? Wouldn't a wealthy, reasonably attractive hero who accepts me as I am suffice?"

Growing up in modest circumstances, my aspirations appeared humble compared to the opulent world beyond our means. The girl next door embodied everything I yearned to be – beauty beyond the ordinary, intellect that outshone the stars, and grace that made life seem like a walk in the park. Emulating her seemed like an insurmountable mountain to climb. Each day, as I walked past her door on my way to class, I couldn't help but steal glances, pondering the enigma of her effortless existence.

Yet, my own journey was far from effortless. My brain, supposedly an ally in the quest for self-improvement, often acted like a petulant child, resisting the pursuit of knowledge. It folded in on itself like a stubborn origami crane, refusing to conform to my desires.

Amidst this turmoil, one thought remained constant: the yearning for an easier path. A wealthy suitor, undemanding in his expectations, appeared as a simple solution. Perhaps, I thought pragmatically, it was a shortcut to a life that perpetually seemed out of reach.

As days turned into months and a year slipped by, there was no sign of a potential suitor. In campus, at church, or in social gatherings, I was often surrounded by women. Meanwhile, the girl in the room next door enjoyed a more luxurious dorm with all the amenities, while I shared a cramped space with a roommate, equipped only with a fan and a bunk bed. How fortunate she was, I thought, with her striking beauty, slender figure, fair skin, and long, flowing black hair. She even received flowers from admirers across various departments. What was I in comparison? A simple woman, trapped within the confines of her own mind, with average abilities.

Eventually, I decided to shift my focus away from the pursuit of a man and instead threw myself into various campus activities. Success in these endeavors could secure me scholarships, irrespective of my academic performance. I auditioned for the university's vocal group and joined their ranks. Unexpectedly, after two months, a young man seemed interested in me. As days passed, he grew closer, and when we had an out-of-town competition, I thought it was a chance to strengthen our bond. However, I discovered he came from a humble family and owned nothing more than a motorcycle. Despite deviating from my initial goal of finding a good-looking, wealthy man, something about him intrigued me.

In my mind, he didn't fit my criteria. He was just kind and unpretentious, neither exceptionally handsome nor wealthy. But what mattered was that I wouldn't have to spend every weekend alone in my dorm, watching as my friends went out on dates. With this resolve, I traveled to Malang, the city where the vocal group competition took place, and there, our connection deepened. Slowly, we let others in on our relationship, and that's where I had my first kiss, a moment that filled me with unparalleled joy.