Breaking Free

I remember the summer of 2021. Beautiful warm weather, sunny skies as waves crash and mist the air. Life felt simple. Life, felt simple. This was one of the first times in my life that I had felt as though I was truly living my life. Trying new things, doing things for myself, not only doing what was expected of me. There was a change coming.

A lovely trip to the aquarium followed by a sunset by the lake. Life felt as though it couldn't get any better, but all good things must come to an end. My heart was battered and thrown into an absolute wretch. Work was becoming unbearable, and I was nearing a breaking point. "Go to college, get a degree, work 40 years and have kids and retire for 12 years and die." I may have embellished on that quote a tad. The normal thing wasn't working for me, and I had my whole world turned upside down. I had to learn to be me again. I had to unbrainwash myself for how to be a person again. How to be an individual with interests and hobbies and not only living for a life I hate.

Fast forward a month, I'm seeing Nick today. Nick and I always have been able to talk to each other about the deepest of concepts even at the most random of times. We have shared a special bond through this, and our friendship has never been stronger. Nick and I went through a few Metroparks and began talking about life, and how we had both been feeling after entering our respective industries and being in the field for a couple years. We both hated it. "This is it? I achieved in a year and a half what people take ten years to do. What do I do now?"(Nick) We both realized right then and there that we had been doing what we had been told our entire lives to do but not really what we wanted to do. We spoke about it all day. Ideas to change and be happier, find our own success, feel like we lived our lives. This day was pivotal.

Fast forward a few months and I'm driving 20 hours to Colorado from Ohio. Finally doing something for me! Welcome to my new life. Mountains as a daily backdrop is a significant mood boost. Starting a new life, excited for the future. Started a new job and felt super accomplished like I had made it. I felt on top of the world. However, this happiness was short lived as I found out that it wasn't for me. The job was too slow and boring with not enough going on for me to really want to stay doing that. I felt like I was back in the same old rut just in a new place. I had to fix it. After 4.5 months as a Chemist, Iquit. I had called my mom out front of the building and was practically crying telling her I hated it so much. The job wasn't hard, just so boring. I felt like I was wasting my time to be there. I needed more out of work and life. By the end of the conversation with her, I went inside, messaged my supervisor to speak to her. Put my 2 weeks notice in 45 minutes later. No plan for after my job ended. Had to find a new job to pay bills and live. Now, it became crunch time.

It took 3 weeks for me to find a job. I had always wanted to bartend and thought it would be fun. I had an interview; the manager was impressed and gave me a working interview. 2 hours later after making so many fun nonalcoholic drinks I had a job bartending with no experience. 3 days later I had another bartending job. Fluctuating between 2 jobs is not always an easy task and creates more of a headache for some people but for me it was perfect. I never felt burnout from a job because I was only ever there 4 days a week max and still made enough money plus some. I had twice as many cool interactions and met so many people that have had an incredible impact on my life. A year and a half later, I was proud to spout that I had 6 craft cocktails on the menu at my work. For someone who started in bartending at nothing with no experience and only the drive to learn and succeed at it, it felt like the greatest accomplishment. I felt like I had finally achieved something in my life I was truly proud of. Not what your parents will tell you to be proud of like graduating college. I was finally my own biggest fan.

Sometimes in life things feel like they won't be going your way. I feel like this often and I keep failing forward. Keep trying and trying and trying. Failure after failure, small step forward and another back and a few forward and another back. It's not easy but worth the journey. Your dreams only die when you give up. In all honesty, I don't care if it takes me till I am old and frail, if you never stop pursuing your dreams and goals then they are always just around the corner until you finally reach them. Having the talk with myself to choose happiness and my own success over what others tell me to do was the key. This is how we all progress. This is how we all Break Free.