Boxed In: Breaking Through

We tumbled a short way into blackness before landing on a cold hard surface. Slowly the room grew lighter until we could see our surroundings clearly. As we looked around there was no longer any sign of the opening we'd come through. We were inside an eight foot cube and all the surfaces were mirrors. On all four walls, the ceiling, and the floor we saw our own reflections continuing on forever as the mirrors created an infinity loop. But slowly the trailing reflections began to change. They were still copies of the two of us, but now they were different scenes, memories of our lives together, and each wall seemed to have its own theme.

The first wall had all the times we laughed together: playing games, watching movies, sharing jokes late at night. Another wall had all the times we romanced each other: dancing in the park, candlelight dinners, the first time we held hands, our first kiss, our engagement night, and our wedding day. The next wall had the times we supported each other: studying together in college, crying together when we lost grandparents, sacrificing wants for each other when money was tight.

"We're in the box," I whispered in shock.

"What?"

"The first room was all white just like the last box. The next room was rough wood like the crate. Now we're inside the mirror cube." I explained.

"Seven years! It wasn't seven years of bad luck. It was seven years of being together, making all these memories." Realization dawned in Ryan's eyes as he looked around at all the images of us.

"So one of these walls needs to be broken to get out, right? Just like the one side said 'break me.' It's got to be that one, with all our fights on it." I pointed to the last wall where it showed us bickering with each other over and over and over again.

"No," he shook his head, looking down with tears in his eyes. "Look down." He pointed at the images looking up at us from the floor. "When we're fighting at least we're communicating and working through our issues. But…" His voice caught with emotion.

As I looked down, I understood why. Unlike the other, most of these images were only of one of us: me curled up in the shower sobbing, Ryan weeping in his car on the side of the road, each of us eating a depressing meal alone. The few that had both of us, there was a rift the size of the Grand Canyon between us: lying in bed with our backs to each other, one of us trying to talk while the other was focused on their phone, or simply sitting together in hostile silence. The number of times I'd shut myself away surprised me, but for every moment I had cried alone Ryan had as well. I couldn't believe how unaware of his feelings I had been.

"These are all the times we felt completely abandoned by each other," a tear rolled down my cheek. "These are the moments that are ruining our marriage. "

Ryan put his arms around me and turned me to look at the other walls, "But look how much we have together that's worth fighting for!"

I looked again at the images surrounding us. He was right. There were so many more good moments, fun moments, safe moments, loving moments. I had gotten so caught up in all my bitterness that I'd forgotten all the sweetness.

He nudged me with a coy smile and pointed up. I blushed a stunning shade of crimson as I saw all the most intimate moments of our marriage looking down on us.

"I guess we know now why we're stuck in here," I choked out. "Someone is trying to remind us how great we used to be together."

"And we're both so stubborn we have to be locked in a mystical box to figure that out," Ryan chuckled. "How did we get here? A year ago we were still so happy together and now…" He looked down sadly at the images below us, lost in quiet contemplation for several minutes. Then his thick brow furrowed as he recognized one of the memories. "Isn't that the day we left the hospital? Why is that there?"

I turned my face away from him, still trying to protect myself from the pain of that memory. I knew for me that had been the beginning of the end. My heart ached and my voice cracked with emotion as I whispered, "You never cried with me or even talked about it with me."

"Oh, Kayla, I was just trying to be strong for you. I thought that's what you needed," Ryan turned my chin up so we were looking at each other again.

"I thought you didn't care, or…or that you blamed me," I could see the love in his eyes and felt safe enough to be vulnerable at last.

"You thought I blamed you? Why would I blame you?"

"I lost our baby," tears I'd held back for the past eleven months poured down my cheeks. "Of course you'd blame me; I blame me."

"My sweet Kayla, you didn't lose our baby, we lost our baby. It just happened."

"But what if it is my fault? What if I can never carry a baby for you," my chin quivered as I finally put into words the fear that had been building inside me.

He shrugged and smiled reassuringly at me, "Silly Girl, I didn't marry you just so you can have my children. I do want to have children with you because I love you. But I want so much more than just children. I want all of this," He waved his arm at the images surrounding us. "I want to laugh together and cry together. I want to create memories together and spend a lifetime with each other. If that includes children that would be wonderful. But if it ends up just being the two of us forever, that would be enough for me. We can fill our lives with other wonderful things, as long as we are together."

We spent the next few hours sitting next to each other talking through the memories surrounding us. We both allowed ourselves to be vulnerable as we shared our heartaches. We hashed out some of our arguments we'd left unresolved. We recognized all the support we had given each other. We reminisced over our most romantic days. We laughed together until our sides hurt as we watched our most fun memories. Finally, we looked up and for the first time in months we recreated some of our most intimate moments, falling into each other's waiting arms and becoming one.

In the end, I felt closer and more connected to Ryan than I ever had before. We held each other's hands tight and then stomped as hard as we could. Spiderweb cracks spread from below our feet, shattering our lonely memories and dropping us softly on a bed draped in blue velvet.

Instantly, we both felt exhausted and couldn't keep our eyes open. I snuggled into Ryan's comfortable embrace and we drifted off to sleep. My final thought as I slipped off was of hope. After nearly a year of fighting, neglect, and drifting apart perhaps we'd awake tomorrow back in the motel, closer than ever before.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------See where Ryan and Kayla's bizarre adventure started.

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Their journey continues soon...