A Chapter From My Memoir

Right away my children will block their ears and close their eyes when any mention of sex comes from my mouth. I have never had any trouble talking openly about sex.

My husband and I have children in their late 30s, 40s, and 50.

One year I bought my children the book, "Where Do Babies Come From" by Shel Silverstein. It was before they were reading. It came complete with great photos. I told them to ask Grandma to read that to them. She said, your mother will have to read that to you!

More than once I sent them to a good touch, bad touch program. I really was hoping that they wouldn't have any negative experiences at a young age.

I had some of those bad experiences young. Now looking back I realize I have had 53 years of sex. That is a lot of years. And a lot of sex. I have been married three times. I had about 1 full year off and .5 off between husbands in all that time. I started having sex with my first husband at age 16.

We were married when I was 17 years old.

My question is always, why is sex so secretive, or only about the openly nasty stuff? I went to a Sexual Attitude Readjustment (SAR) at the University of Minnesota when I was in college. Everyone should experience that.

This chapter is about sex and aging. I am definitely aging. Are there differences? Of course.

One of the most recent was after I had a hysterectomy, I started to experience urinary tract infections (UTIs), bladder infections, and a yeast infection.

I went to my doctor when I had a number 2 UTI. She said I am going to give you a prescription for an antibiotic that you will take after intercourse. After a hysterectomy, some women will experience chronic UTIs.

She comes back in with a script for 4 pills per week for months. I said, "Excuse me, my husband is 73. 4 pills per week is a bit much. It was more like 3 times per week in our 50s and 60s. Now it is Sunday and Wednesday.

We laughed and laughed. I said, "Imagine, that young pharmacist's embarrassment talking to this old lady about taking this pill every time I have sex those 4 times per week.

Now, we are not even having much sex as I am trying to avoid getting a UTI.

The hubby is not liking this much. He is not as virile as he was in his 60s either. Some erection issues. We have managed so far. I expect that will get more difficult as someone told me if you don't use it you can lose it.

Neither of us wants to lose what we have, but that may be where we are headed. Young people don't want to believe that old people even have sex. I'm here to tell you that we do. Married couples do and dating singles do as well.

When I worked in treatment, I would talk to the group about sexual dysfunction from drinking and diabetes. I worked with primarily Native American people and diabetes was more common. I know I could make most of the group uncomfortable with the sex topic.

One day I told the group that I was working with that it is recommended that they take a year break before getting into a relationship when newly sober. One guy said to me, "F- -K you, you stay out of a relationship for a year."

Talking about sex is not always an easy subject to discuss but it is worth it. Especially when you have questions that are not easy to approach with a stranger or in your relationship.

We are all aging and will have questions and concerns when it comes to sex. That is normal and we should have no problem getting the answer to what we would like to know.