The Let Them Theory Book Review

Summary

Mel Robbins’s Let Them theory is a modern practical way of approaching everyone in one’s life, conflicts, and the compulsion to control everything happening in and around us. The book's core revolves around two powerful words: "Let Them." This theory tells us not to attempt to change people, their feelings or their actions in any way anymore. As a result, we regain our strength, clear mind, and emotional state.

Starring in this unique show solely is the book's author, Mel Robbins herself, who shares her own experience in applying the “Let Them” approach to her own life. Those familiar with CBT know that it does not apply to specific, unique characters, but the book also instructs every reader because everyone feels like a character when they have to navigate being overwhelmed due to external pressures or the need to meet other's expectations. In speaking about the topic throughout the book, Mel shares everyday stories, including the story behind introducing the idea to her. The major theme of the book appears to be about the conflict that individuals have with the world and the self, in particular the inability to come to terms with the fact that we can never control other people and bending the energies to relinquishing the need to have power over how everybody else lives.

The main question Robbins poses is: Imagine if you were to cease managing individuals and allowing them to be themselves. This question awakens readers and makes them think about their own lives and the time they lose trying to transform other people.

The major themes of the book are the elements of surrender, individual growth power, and self-acceptance. Here, Robbins starts with relation to certain psychological theories such as stoicism and Buddhism and can detail how this form of thinking can radically enhance your well-being.

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Experience

This book gave me the fresh air that I needed, it’s like somebody wrote the things that I think and I want to say. I noticed myself beginning to relax as I turned over the pages, especially when Robbins included her case studies and epiphanies. The kind way she spoke to me made me feel like we were friends discussing our roommate’s insistence on carrying out every compassion she sees in others. The evidence that was most relatable and which brought the message close to heart was when she talked about being left behind on a friend’s trip. Like her, I’ve been there: screaming inside, asking myself why I was not chosen, thinking what could I have said or done wrong and trying to get some explanation.

But Robbins has a way of guiding you to a powerful realization: much of what we worry about with others has little to do with us. As she explains, "The more you try to control what others think, feel, or do, the more you sabotage your happiness."

Let me start by saying what I thought was brilliant about the book is that Robbins didn’t just introduce the thought and stop there. She went all out exploring how to even implement the Let Them Theory in our interaction with others as well as ourselves. There was a gradual change of attitude as I read the part that said. Let Them give me some problems at first when pondering it over in my head. It was strange to let go of control. But then I remembered how much it relieved me. I was no longer compelled to drag everyone into doing what I wanted them to do or attempt to command/manage events that had no direct connection to me.

This is the most important thing that I have discovered that the real strength is not to transform other people, but the need to learn not to have a desire to transform the world. This idea alone has helped me become more tolerant of myself. For example, when someone at work dismisses my ideas or when a friend doesn't invite me to something, instead of dwelling on it, I now remind myself: Let them. And it's liberating. I no longer began to stew on these moments as symptoms of personal failure or lack of inherent value.

Strengths

Interestingly, too, the strength of The Let Them Theory lies in its simplicity. I believe that Robbins does a brilliant job of breaking down some of the more advanced psychological and philosophical ideas. Let Them is cool and such a small phrase but the way Robbins incorporates instances, anecdotes, and facts into it makes it seem like it can be implemented by anyone.

The stories she gives make a reader to be personal with the book. They are real and honest, which is always nice to have when putting into practice any theory. Still, Robbins isn’t afraid to note that she has her own issues with wanting to be the one in the driver’s seat all the time, which also makes her lessons all the more believable. As she said those words, “I was trying to fix everyone, manage their moods, and predict their behaviour,” And all I got was stress."

At the same time, I liked the organization of the book. Robbins doesn’t only present the Let Them Theory to the reader of the book and let them come up with what he meant. She lists the best ways and examples that demonstrate how one can start using it in their daily life.

The science and philosophy which Robbins has very successfully cited are also sound and scholarly, provoking a lot of thinking. So she finds links between letting go, Stoicism, Buddhism, and contemporary science, he ruled that letting go is not a new concept but it has ancient backing. It is not about the latest trend but about the effectiveness of helping mental and emotional wellness.

Weaknesses

The Let Them Theory is an excellent book but there were some extras that I thought were borderline redundant. Now and then, Robbins repeats the fundamental notion that runs throughout the entire book, which is slightly tedious even though it appears to be helpful. But I do get why she does this—because Let Them really can transform your life if they are taken as a guide. Nevertheless, one could imagine that a couple of pages could have been removed for a better flow.

Furthermore, although the book contains a ton of information about the author, it is also filled with too much information about Robbins own personal experiences for some audience members' tastes. That said however the voices of others did make her advice less likely and at times I yearned for more input from other individuals. At times, the personal story dominates or obscures the application of the theory.

Final Thoughts

However, these are small flaws in an otherwise highly inspiring book, and that is exactly what The Let Them Theory is – empowering. It dares readers to consider how they perceive the world and other people and how they perceive themselves. The message is clear: So often are we occupied with other people and situations beyond our control, that we fail to realize the only thing which is well within our control, is how we choose to react, what decisions we make, and the level of serenity we cultivate.

I encourage anybody who struggles with the pressure and opinions of others to read that book. In it, you can get the very basic concepts regarding self-enhancement that do not limit itself to motivational and inspirational tips. The Let Them Theory is not based on a lack of goal setting or lack of accountability; it is about not holding the unnecessary negativity we have about other people.

My Recommendation

If you enjoyed The Let Them Theory, I would suggest reading these books next:

• The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson — for a similar perspective on letting go of things that don’t serve you.

• Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach — for deeper insights into embracing life as it is.

• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown — for a journey toward self-acceptance and letting go of perfectionism.

• Atomic Habits by James Clear — if you want to build positive habits to support your transformation.

So, let me recap and suggest that if you are sick and tired of letting others run your life and want to reclaim your health and happiness, The Let Them Theory is worth your time. Next time you feel like pointing out someone’s odd behaviour try starting with the phrase ‘Let Them.’ Pay attention to the shifting of your energy. Maybe not so quickly, but trust me, as soon as you start, it’s going to be the best decision in your life.

Your next step? Open this book and begin to release yourself. You’ll be surprised at how much lighter and freer people feel.

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