How Writing Fiction Can Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Sometimes it's hard to look at someone and express our feelings because we're always afraid of people's reactions or, worse, their judgments.

"Pull yourself together." "Stop it!" "Move on." "Thank God you have what you need." — These were the responses I heard every time I tried to express myself during the hardest period of my life. Even my mother, with whom I’ve always been close, would try to stop me from being emotional, constantly repeating that I exaggerated everything and that everything was fine.

I was going through a divorce that felt like a war had broken out. Those emotions were overwhelming, and I felt utterly alone. At my lowest point, I decided to visit a therapist. While working on controlling my compulsive thoughts and stabilizing my emotional world, I found myself in a bookstore.

I have always loved reading, but my two jobs and parenting duties had pushed that habit far, far away from me. Despite the cost, I bought a book, went home, and started reading. Among those sentences, I found words that comforted me. I began to understand that many people go through the same "tunnel of emotions" that I do, and that perhaps it’s easier to write it down than to say it aloud.

I wrote my own fiction book, seasoning it with real feelings. My book was published in my native language, Armenian, and it was called "The Unsent Letters." It came out in August 2022, and the first sentence in that book was:

"This book is not based on a true story; it is based on true feelings."

I started receiving reviews, with readers saying that their attention was captured by that very first sentence, and they wanted to see what feelings guided me and became the essence of the book.

In a nutshell, I created a love story that didn’t end like a fairy tale. The girl loved too much, but the boy wasn’t ready to commit. Due to certain circumstances, the girl ends up with depression and later visits a therapist who helps her overcome it and start valuing the present.

That’s what happens when we’re in depression—we lose the present and start worrying about either the past or fictional things that have almost no chance of happening.

It was so easy to express what I went through by channeling my experiences into the main character of my story. I even added a couple of memories from my own childhood. In this book, I explained the technique my therapist taught me to overcome anxiety and those sudden, overwhelming thoughts.

I found comfort in writing. Sometimes, I would just post a poem on Facebook, and people loved it. They shared their own feelings with me, which brought me closer to those already connected with me and also rekindled old friendships.

While writing about my feelings by turning them into my character's emotions, I was able to find what could be called "closure." It felt like I was letting everything go, emptying myself of all those emotions that felt like rocks on my chest

What’s more interesting is that after publishing my book, reading other fiction opened up a different world for me. I began to understand that if a book is successful, it’s because it is honest. When authors describe a character's inner world, they cannot lie—they must truly feel it to write about it authentically.

This realization led me to a new idea. I started analyzing books and sharing my thoughts with others. I bought an array of post-its and filled the books with them. I would highlight quotes, descriptions, and emotional passages, then analyze them in my notebook. However, I felt a growing need to share these insights with a broader audience, so I decided to create a website: https://booksummaryinsight.com/

It’s a brand new site, and I began with one of my favorite book analyses: "Anxious People" by Fredrik Backman.

Creating this website is a new journey of self-discovery and connection. Through my own writing and the analysis of others' works, I've realized that literature is more than just stories on a page—it's a bridge between our inner worlds and the world around us. By sharing my experiences, thoughts, and analyses, I hope to foster a deeper understanding of the emotions that unite us all, whether through the books we read or the ones we write.

In the end, both writing and reading have become therapeutic tools for me, allowing me to process my emotions, find closure, and connect with others who may be going through similar experiences. As I continue to explore the rich landscapes of fiction, I’m excited to see how this journey will evolve and how many more stories—both mine and others'—will resonate with those who seek comfort, understanding, and honesty in the written word.