Find Your Own Voice

In modern culture that desperately dictates identities, the process of finding the true voice is an extremely radical, and eventually rewarding, one. The expectations are flooding us, coming out of multiple sources: family, social, electronic and cultural. This is why more and more people wake up every morning with a feeling that they are indeed living a life of another person. The inner question that is not obvious but present, the question that is, is it really me does not belong to the category of philosophical thoughts; it is a psychological question, which has greater psychological implications than anybody can estimate.

Why We Lose Our Voice ? Adaptation to socialization initiates at earlier stages of our life as our urge is to emulate others in search of acceptance and evading rejection. Although at first this symmetry generates an empathetic feeling and helps to social bond, over dependence on external validation eventually leads to silencing of intrinsic dispositions. In this way we become players of the dramaturgy of our life. Psychologists have called this situation self-alienation- a lack of communication between the inner and the externally represented roles. With time, such a chasm will create anxiety, depression, or some type of a vague and persistent feeling of being lost. Discovering your voice does not imply developing loudness, rebelliousness, and contrariness as of its own value. Rather, it entails coordinating thoughts, feelings, values and actions in such a way that they will be talking one language.

The Psychology of your Voice. Your voice is more than an opinion, more than a spoken word, it is the psychological incarnation of personality a complex of beliefs, values, desires, a specific way of perceiving the world. The concepts put forward by Carl Rogers are that personal development depends on congruence the consistency between self-image and experience. When people do what is true to them, they get greater satisfaction, strength, and happiness.

Individuals who find their voice and use it in a general manner tend to have the following advantages:

• Less anxiety in interpersonal relationships.
• More decisiveness and confidence.
• Repels unhealthy and more deceitful relationships.
• Increased sense of meaning and direction.

How to Find Your Voice: A Psychological Guide.

Finding one voice is not a one time process but a process of exploration, experimentation and trust. The psychological tools that can help to start this journey are the following:

• Listen Before You Speak -to Yourself. Stop the noises around. Quit digital, unwarranted advice and the inner critic. Journaling, meditation, or walk meditation are some of the practices that allow focusing on internal states.

Ask these questions in an introspective nature: What am I truly interested in when I am alone? What would I prefer in the absence of the risk of being judged?

• Notice the “Shoulds” In case reflexive I should comes out, drop. Identify the origin of the utterance and find out whether it is an internal value or external impositions. The use of the word should is often an indication of ingrained beliefs, which no longer contribute to the welfare of a person. Restructure: I prefer to... or I want to... This minor reversal remodels the mind in agency and not obligation.

• Being Uncomfortable with Authenticity. Genuineness does not necessarily bring comfort. It can instigate defenselessness or embarrassment, which would likely cause disappointment or insensitivity. These are the results that can be allowed. The uneasiness experienced usually acts as a clue that he or she is moving out of a scripted life into a real life.

• Speak Up, even When Your Voice Wobbles.
• Start small: make an unpopular statement, establish a limit, say no when needed. Every genuine pronouncement adds psychological strength against genuineness. Bravado does not imply the absence of fear, but rather, it is the ability to endure fear.

• Find Safe Spaces: Insecure environments do not support authenticity. Find relations, groups or teachers who support the realization of the entire self. The greater the acceptance in this way, the less difficult it becomes to stop performative behaviors.

Your Voice Is Your Power .

You were not brought into existence as a bone structure of some other story. Your thoughts, experiences and emotions belong to you and have a value to society. Finding a voice is not a personal practice, but it is a social favor. The act of locus of honesty and integrity allows another to afford the agency to do the same. This not only builds a sense of connectedness as opposed to conformity but also helps in building a culture that is focused on depth as opposed to performance. Hear therefore not outward things, but the inner wisdom that is inwards. It is here, and it is present forever.

And when at last you come to perceive, You will know: You did not go really lost, you were only waiting to be listened to.