What can I wear???

Hair in the black community is important. Our styles are also diverse. Whether we choose to wear our natural hair, protective hair, or relaxed, the list goes on. And yet, there is always controversy when it comes to our hair. From fears of not getting a job due to wearing braids or even in the dating world where we face challenges finding a partner acceptable to our different hair styles, Hair for black women is complex.

As a black woman, I've did so many different hair styles. From the time I was twelve to thirty, I've done relaxers as my hair is very thick. I loved having my hair relaxed because of the silky texture and being able to have easiness in maintaining my hair. So when news came out that relaxers were causing cancer (I think ovarian or vaginal?), I had to reluctantly say goodbye to the product. My sister said that if it was so harmful, they wouldn't sell it no more. However, stores still sell cigarettes which cause cancer, alcohol, which can be harmful to the kidneys, and fast food which can give unhealthy diseases as well. I can't chance the possibility of getting cancer just to have silky hair.

Besides getting my hair relaxed, I would also wear box braids. If you're not familiar with box braids, watch Poetic Justice and look at Janet Jackson's hair. I always get compliments with my hair and even some who have asked for my sister's contact so she could do their hair (she does my hair majority of the time). When I was younger, I didn't like wearing braids as I went to majority white high school and feared being ostracized. Ironically, it was black girls who had much to say. Wearing a protective hair style where I can jump out of bed and not have to fix or comb my hair is so much easier. Unfortunately, there might be an obstacle with this now.

There has now been a study that links synthetic hair to carcinogens and cancerous risks. Most of the time when I do have braids, we usually use synthetic hair. Now, I have to think about what to do now with my hair!

For over a year, I have gone through the process of natural hair. I don't have any chemicals such as relaxer. I've worn braids and did my hair in a bun. Hell, I even wore a pony-tail as it is easy to put on. But when it comes to our hair, why do we get such backlash?

Even in our community, we get flack for our hair. When watching dating shows, there are men who get put off with women wearing weaves, wigs or relaxed hair. Don't get me started with braids. When I went to the Bahamas as a ten year old girl, they were not too keen on me using fake hair on me as I was a little girl. They wanted to use my actual hair.

It might even seem dramatic, but as I go through the dating world, I make sure that my picture on the dating apps show that I have different hair styles, but I majority use braids as my picture and I prefer to make sure that when I date, especially outside my race, they see me in braids. In fact, I watched a TikTok where a black girl asked her mom to braid her hair. I understood exactly why she did this. She wanted to make sure that the person she was dating wasn't uncomfortable. It's all too familiar and an unfortunate situation we have to deal with.

It's very difficult navigating hair. Even in the workforce. I'm sure there is at least one black woman who gets the constant questions when she changes her hair. Especially in corporate. I know most people mean well, but the reason why it is so tiring is but yes, we change our hair. Even my friends know not to ask if that's my actual hair when I am wearing my ponytail.

Yes, it's exhausting, especially being the butt of the jokes when it comes to hair or demonized. From Jada Pinkett-Smith and her going bald, to Zendaya being ridiculed for wearing dreads, the list goes on. Damn if you do; damn if you don't. But...it doesn't have to be bad.

I want to end this on a good note. One of the things that I love more than anything is how black women are not afraid to diversify our hair. We take pride in our hair because a long time ago, our hair wasn't seen as ideal. Like all women, hair is important and we want to feel special, love, and confident. While we still have issues that we have to work on in the hair industry as well as how we can further the misconception of hair, we will soon be able to have the potential of being able to wear what we want and feel beautiful. Minus the judgment, stereotypes and health scares.