I Am Art In Motion

On October 16, 2020, I finally unlocked the perfect image of what I want to look like.

I have successfully transformed my body into a work of art; I am art in motion.

Growing up in Nigeria, I was raised by my deeply religious grandparents; which translated to conforming to a very conservative physical appearance, and I resented it. In my 4th year of elementary school, my grandmother cut my long hair off because according to her, it was a distraction. She also believed that it would attract boys, which never made any sense to me because up until I graduated high school, I had short hair and boys were still very much attracted to me, in the long run, she failed in that aspect.

It just didn’t sit right with me that I had no agency over my body and I would sit dream of a time where I would be able to do whatever I wanted, and wear whatever I wanted, without caring what my family or the world around me thought.

I moved out of home after graduating from college at 22 and slowly started taking steps towards becoming my most desire self. It began with tinting my hair, adding a bit of lipstick to my look, wearing clothes with deeper necklines and shorter hemlines and being as wild and creative with my manicures and though I loved it, it still wasn’t enough.

Nigeria is a country that is also religious and conservative, where you are judged extremely inaccurately and unfairly based off what your physical appearance. Women with short hair or bald heads were regarded as promiscuous, girls who dressed showing too much skin were sluts, having coloured hair or even dreadlocks awarded you the title of irresponsible. Wearing waist beads or anklets got you labelled as a prostitute, having tattoos? Oh, that was just the height of it! In my desire for peace, I moved.

Living in America now it’s much easier to be who exactly I want to be. Living here has given me the courage to alter the things about myself that would ultimately give me my desired look, something I was unable to do in my country of origin, so I began with my ears. I used to live in the suburban city of Edwardsville, southern Illinois and a few months into my stay, I racked up 9 piercings on both my ears. Unfortunately for me, my body wasn’t very accepting of piercings so now I am down to six, with a nose ring as well.

I always wanted a tattoo growing up, although I knew they were regarded as demonic and sinful; I didn’t believe they were.

I began my journey in February 2019, and today I have 13 tattoos and counting. I started out with an S for Summer on my left arm. It was designed by one of the best people in my life. This tattoo reminds me of a time in my life where I took a bold step and took ownership of my body.

Scribbled down my right arm “Everything good will come” was my second tattoo. It is actually the name of a coming of age novel by Nigerian author Sefi Atta. The book had nothing to do with the reason for the tattoo, it was just something that I used to say to myself every time my world looked bleak and hopeless, I would tell myself that everything good will come. I desperately wanted to believe it, so I had it inked on my skin because it will forever be meaningful. The power of this tattoo goes beyond just me, it is strategically positioned such that anyone else reading it is manifesting good things into their own life off of my body.

My third and fourth tattoos are powerfully symbolic to me. They remind me of my ability to make it through the most excruciating of circumstances. My time in Edwardsville was the most dreadful two years of my life. It was during that time that I understood the meaning of loneliness and tumbled into depression. One of the days where all I could think about was ending my life, I said to myself that if I made it through that rough phase, I would get tattoos to commemorate my escape from hell.

I successfully completed my master’s degree top of my class and got a fantastic job, so I got a Phoenix tattoo on my left arm. The myth of the Phoenix states that it’s reborn from its ashes, and this was the story of my life during that time. On my right arm, I had inked in Nordic fonts Stormbreaker. Asgard’s mightiest weapon; forged from the heat of a dying star, Stormbreaker is the axe that Thor uses to kill Thanos after he committed multi-universal genocide. This tattoo serves the same purpose as the Phoenix tattoo, reminding me that I will pass through the storms that life throws at me, they will not break me, I will break them.

Though not as religious as my folks who raised me, I do believe in prayer. Tattooed on my back reads “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death though, I will fear no evil for you are with me.” Psalm 23:4. This verse is a testament to the story of my life because I have been through the valley of the shadow of death, I have found myself in the scariest circumstances in the last few years, and I honestly don’t know how I made it through. I have been kidnapped twice. I was robbed, beating and molested by five men, and I had been raped each experience worse than the other—this is my most important prayer, a prayer of protection.

A few months after my 27th birthday, I decided to symbolize that year with a rose tattoo. It wasn’t because the year was special or anything it actually turned out to be a really sad and lonely birthday. Still, I am glad to have made something of it; I created something beautiful from something painful. The Rose is my birth flower, so right now I have is 6-inch sky blue rose imprinted on my back.

I am going to go out on a limb and say that 2020 has been a challenging year for most people, it has been a mental trip, to say the least. For me, this year came with further depression, panic attacks, anxiety, loss of income and insomnia. Naturally a hopeful and upbeat person, I lost that part of myself. I remember reading as a teenager this quote that said, “it’s the hope that kills” and never have I understood that phrase more this year than ever before. It is so hard to hope while you’re living in hell. I had lost every ounce of positivity and cheer, but I knew that it was necessary to remind myself to still hold on regardless.

All my tattoos are in English, so I decided to get one in my native language of Yoruba, I have a tattoo on my chest that says reads Ireti; which means hope. Ireti for me, carries more weight, more meaning for me in my native tongue than it does in English. It translates to mean, looking forward to blessings, and now every time I look in the mirror, there it is on my chest, reminding me that there is still hope.

‘Create’ is number 13, located on my left arm. I got this done in New Orleans on September 13,2020 with my best friend, Temi. At a time where we were both dealing with unemployment and depression, we packed our bags, left Chicago and New Jersey respectively and spent two fantastic weeks in our favorite city of New Orleans.

Both of us being writers, this time provided us with a new perspective, it was us rediscovering ourselves and making conscious steps towards building a life we desired. Temi and I bonded over the things we wanted to accomplish, and all those things included us creating our art. I hadn’t been able to create in a long time because mentally I had been in an abyss. I had gotten to the point where I was just so tired of sending job applications which at that time, I had raked up 962 on LinkedIn alone, I decided that it was time for me to begin creating again. She had the same epiphany, so we chose to have the word create tattooed on our arms. Ever since that day, I introduce myself as who I am, I am a writer.

It is not as important to me anymore to narrate the reactions I have gotten over what my physical appearance is because it doesn't matter to me anymore and because it is my body, I am at liberty to do as I please so long as it is not harmful.

My name is Summer, and I identify as a redhead.

I tried multiple times to achieve the shade of red that I wanted my hair to be, and finally, I took that bold step. My hair has always been symbolic for me because amid a world where Murphy’s law is the order of the day and we have little or no control over so much that happens, being able to maneuver my hair gives me a sense of control that I thrive on.

I am a Black woman with thick long and extremely versatile hair, and I switch it up every time I feel like it.

Life is still tough; super tough, but at least I have ‘some’ control over my body.

Today I am exactly what I want to look like. I am tattoo-bodied, multiple piercing having redhead, and I am content.