Your Soundtrack to 90,000 Hours in Hell

Imagine a horror film where someone is willingly held captive and tortured for 90,000 hours, almost a third of their life. The torturer teases them by promising a few days off the horror every week but never keeps their word. This person's freedom is curtailed until they're broken, psychologically and mentally.

Except this ain't no horror film. This is reality.

They say the truth is stranger than fiction, so why do you need to look to haunted houses, ghosts, and goblins for the ultimate spook-fest?

Welcome to the worst horror story of your life; the one where you're stuck in a job you hate. At least it comes complete with a banging soundtrack.

"My job is very boring, I'm an office clerk" - Martha and the Muffins, Echo Beach

You take the job. The boss interviews you and sweetens you up with the promise of dress-down Fridays, flexi-time, and the odd free donut. He kind of impresses you with his sharp suit and fancy corner office but his demeanor seems a little off like he would sell his grandma to get ahead. You shrug it off, thinking little of your hunch.

No, it's not your dream position, and yeah the office seems a bit old school, but it pays OK and you need the money. You have debts, you have a big house to pay for, you've got that vacation coming. You don't want to miss out on the next iPhone release and this weekend you've got a baby shower, a dinner with people you don't like all that much.

Modern life costs a lot of money, you justify to yourself. So yeah, it's boring, and you're an office clerk, but you don't have much choice, do you?

"Barely gettin' by, it's all takin' and no givin'" - Dolly Parton, 9-5

You pass the breakroom and hear a couple of older colleagues complaining about the office. They're barely getting by, it seems.

You know the sort of colleague. You've seen them, shuffling along, zombie-like, around the office floor.

You head in to make a coffee and they quieten down, almost afraid of the newbie that's entered their midst. Then one of them starts to talk.

"How are you getting on?"

"Fine thanks," you reply. "The job is fine, and everyone seems nice." You know, the usual lukewarm reply.

The two exchange glances. One gets up, visibly straining under the pain of returning to their cubicle. As they pass you they lower their voice and say conspiratorially;

"Be careful, things are not always as they seem in this place."

"I can't wait for the weekend to begin" - Michael Gray, The Weekend

It's Friday - or should that be FriYAY. You dress down in jeans and a t-shirt for work, elated at being fortunate enough to indulge in wearing what you like, once a week no less!

You have a spring in your step because tonight, you're out on the town and nothing is going to stop you.

You can't wait for the weekend and it starts in T-minus 9 hours.

"You want a Maserati? You better work, b*tch" -Britney Spears, Work, B*tch

The dark force that is your boss comes through the door. You not going anywhere this weekend, there is work to do.

They make it out like it's on you. If you want all the finer things in life, you're going to have to work, b*tch.

What they don't tell you is that you have no choice. You're their slave now, you'll never see sunlight again, let alone have the time to go to the Maserati showroom.

You look around. You realize what those office veterans were trying to tell you back in the heady Dolly Parton days. Get out! This is your chance! Don't get stuck like we did! It's then you realize. Like them, you're in a never-ending purgatory, tortured by endless emails, meetings, and banal chats with Janine from HR.

Your fate, it seems, is sealed.

"Around the world, around the world, around the world, around the world" - Around the World, Daft Punk

The torture starts. The same thing, day in, day out, repetitive as hell. This song is your anthem. Your boss likes to stick it on the stereo sometimes. It's a bangin' tune for sure but it goes on forever and is repetitive as water torture, drip dripping into your brain.

Its lyrics add insult to injury. If you weren't in your office job, you could be going "around the world." You hear there are these people who don't have to work like this, that they get to determine their own hours, working wherever they like.

You shrug. You think that could never be you. You go back to work.

"I'll be working here forever, at least until I die" - Huey Lewis and the News, Workin for a Livin

There is no hope. Everything is lost. You take quiet solace in the fact that it's not just you. All your friends and family are in some sort of similar corporate hell.

The psychological gaslighting is in full force, altering your reality so you believe this is all there is, this is normality. Just you, head office, and #cubiclelife. This is life until you die.

"Rise up and take the power back, it's time the fat cats had a heart attack" - Muse, Uprising

There's murmuring in the office. There is news that workers around the world are rising up, tired of working in jobs that suck their freedom, their sanity, the best years of their life.

They are rising up, taking the power back. Word is, the rebellion goes by the name The Great Resignation.

For the first time, you see a glimmer of hope out of this nightmare. Maybe you could join their ranks. You've heard rumors that work can be better than what you've settled for, but you hardly believe it.

Slowly, you start to formulate a plan. During your daily mandated downtime, you switch off Netflix, instead quietly sharpening your skills and resume.

"F*ck you I won't do what you tell me" - Rage Against the Machine, Killing in the Name

Your hands are shaking as you hand in your resignation letter. Your torturer - ahem - boss, looks at it and sighs.

"We had big plans for you here. You could have been somebody," they say.

You realize now what you should have realized years ago. It's all a lie, a trap, the promotion shaped carrot constantly dangled in front of you to keep you in line. It was a horror story of your own making.

You may not say it out loud but inside you're jumping up and down shouting "f*ck you I won't do what you tell me anymore!" It feels good to shake off your demons as you head out the door, blearily blinking in the sunlight like you've never seen it before.

You turn and see another colleague step out next to you. Across the road, someone else from another office does the same. Across the world, the rebellion has started. The tide has turned and there's nothing your crappy boss can do about it.