You’re Gonna Be Okay

As one of Spotify’s Top 3% of music listeners (they told me this! 😇) I could have written about a hundred songs or at least 20 different albums for this challenge without difficulty.

I initially narrowed it down to these songs. Songs I have played a lot recently. Songs that give me hope and faith that one day soon I will no longer be living in daily fear for my life, my safety.

They uplift me and give me faith that soon I will no longer be begging strangers to help feed me, to send money or buy my book. Faith that this daily living nightmare will soon end.

That all of this fear will soon be behind me and I will be free.

That last option by Bessie was a close contender. I sing this daily.

It’s an old song from the days of African American slavery in America.

I cannot tell you how strongly my heart resonates with both this pain of unjust imprisonment and holding onto faith of there being love, peace and freedom in some elusive future. And yes, holding onto hope when there is no evidence to support that anything will change is extremely painful.

But then I remembered this song.

This has to be the one.

Jenn sings this so very beautifully, her voice is angelic - and pairing this voice with the dark piano keys and the lyrics is absolute gold.

I don’t feel that I need to write too much more. I really feel that the song speaks for itself.

From the very first snare kick my heart was attuned to the song.

Actually, the very first time I heard it, I cried for over an hour. Messy crying. That kind of snotty, soaking, fat tears, uncontrollable crying.

The song played on repeat for all of that time and with it I released what felt like a lifetime of grief.

I felt like she was speaking directly to me. For me. For my situation.

Her validation immediately connected with the deep grief in my heart;

“I know your heart is heavy from those nights”

“And it’s a fight just to keep it together”

“I know you think you are too far gone”

Her affirmations gave me strength;

“you are stronger than you know”

“hold on, don’t let go”

“you’ll get through this”

“follow the light in the darkness”

“remember you are a fighter”

“don’t give up, don’t give in”

“this won’t last, it’s not the end”

.

She lit the brightest fire of hope in my heart; so bright and large that it forced the calcified salt tears from playing at being ‘strong’ each and every day out of my body.

Even today as I played it, tears flow.

The song is probably the most healing song I have had throughout this living nightmare. Through the power of music and lyrics Jenn made me feel like she was with me. Like God was with me.

When we have zero connections in the physical world, no hugs, no kisses, no love (outwith our own) - music is a medicine more powerful than any other.

Without it, I couldn’t have survived what I am enduring every day out here.

I am incredibly blessed and thankful to have music, and the means to play it and I’m grateful for this challenge prompt for reminding me to voice this appreciation.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Angela’s challenge is linked below; please check it out and do join in! I would love to read more entries. We can learn so much about each other through music ❤️😇🌟