Valentine Your Way

Valentine’s Day was always so odd to me growing up. Maybe that was simply because I wasn’t overly romantic. Or maybe it was because I found the idea of giggling while your secret crush opens your anonymous letter a tad childish. Or maybe it was simply because I didn’t understand why people suddenly loved their partner more on this one particular day. Even when I got into a relationship, I was determined not to celebrate Valentine’s Day and be that mushy couple that everyone secretly, or perhaps not-so-secretly, detests. But every year my boyfriend (now husband)’s mother would push him to organise some cute surprise for me, and we’d have a nice but relatively low-key day together. It made me realise that, yes, it is just another day in the year and, no, celebrating it doesn’t mean you love your partner anymore, but the day can be whatever you make it!

Who cares what anyone else thinks? If you want to celebrate it with your partner, being all cute and romantic – go for it! Don’t let your single friends try and make you feel bad. If you wanna go for a girl’s day and make it all about friendship and sisterhood – do it, pump up your friends and make a day of it. If you want to throw an Anti-Valentine’s party – why not? You’ll make someone’s day I’m sure! If you want to sit at home alone, watching romantic movies and wishing you were in one – don’t let anyone stop you, you’re a hopeless romantic and that’s okay, be proud of it!

The point is that society likes to make us feel bad for enjoying things that make us happy, simply because that thing doesn’t necessarily make them happy. Or on the flip side, they make us feel bad for not enjoying something that everyone else does. Valentine’s Day is one of those polarising things that it doesn’t matter what you think of it, someone’s always going to disagree with you. But maybe it’s time for a change. As a wise woman once said, the haters gonna hate, so shake it off. Be you, be confident in however you choose to spend Valentine's Day, and make sure you have the perfect tunes along the way.

The “Mushy” Couple – “Like I’m Gonna Lose You” by Meghan Trainor (feat. John Legend)

As a society, maybe we’re a little too harsh on those couples that actually want to spend a romantic Valentine’s Day together (and by “we”, I include myself in this statement). It’s very easy to judge overly romantic couples, not necessarily because we’re jealous, but simply because we don’t approach things from the same point of view. But maybe if we spend more time being confident in ourselves, and less time judging couples who like romantic dates and cute gifts, we’d all be a little better off. If you’re in a relationship and you want to have a romantic day together – go for it and be confident in it. Don’t worry about whether your cuteness makes your single friends feel more single – just for today, that’s their problem.

Meghan Trainor’s “Like I’m Gonna Lose You” is the perfect track to show your partner that you love and appreciate every moment with them. Take some time today to show them this, however you know best and just enjoy the feeling of being loved and being in love. And if that’s not your jam, don’t worry – but don’t make others feel bad for being themselves either.

Other songs for this vibe: “I Choose You” by Sara Bareilles, “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri, and “Lover” by Taylor Swift.

The Recently Single – “Shout Out to My Ex” by Little Mix

Valentine’s Day can be quite tough for many people, but especially if you have been in a relationship up until recently. Even if you know the break-up was for the best, it can be pretty hard to stop thoughts of your ex creeping back in – maybe last Valentine’s was perfect, and now you feel very alone. But this year we’re being confident, so take hold of your newfound singleness, wipe away the mascara, grab some girlfriends and spend some getting to know yourself again – this Valentine’s is all about YOU! And if you need some powerful break-up tunes to remind you why you’re better off now, Little Mix’s “Shout Out to My Ex” is always an excellent place to start! Filled with a little bit of rage, a little bit of regret, and a whole lotta girl power, this song is incredibly empowering even if you didn’t just go through a break-up.

Of course, if that’s not really your style and you just want to embrace the sadness and cry – then that’s fine too – go for it! Olivia Rodrigo’s “Driver’s License” will definitely help you along that path. As I said, today is about you, and however you want to deal with it.

Other songs for this vibe: “Driver’s License” by Olivia Rodrigo, “Since U Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson, “Problem” by Ariana Grande, and “Babe” by Sugarland.

The Hopeless (yet single) Romantic – “Love Story (Taylor’s Version)” by Taylor Swift

Hopeless romantics don’t really need a specific day to dream about finding true love – but they’ll roll with it anyway. If this sounds like you, I hardly need to tell you to embrace your fairy-tale daydreams or to plan a day in to watch romantic movies alone – I’m sure you’ve got that covered! But I do have some music suggestions if you’re looking for something to sing your heart out to while baking heart-shaped cookies or driving around picturesque countrysides by yourself. As far as hopeless romantics go, it’s impossible to go past Taylor Swift! A self-professed hopeless romantic, Swift spent her first five albums dreaming about finding true love. In fact, her early hit “Love Story” was written in her bedroom as she played out a Romeo and Juliet style scenario in her head – with a more romantic ending of course! This is the perfect daydreamer’s tune for Valentine’s Day, although make sure you listen to the newly re-released “Taylors Version” as linked below and in our playlist!

Other songs for this vibe: “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” by Whitney Houston, “The Only Exception” by Paramore, and “Butterflies” by Kacey Musgraves.

The “Not Really About It” Couple – “The Best” by Tina Turner

Some couples just don’t care about Valentine’s Day – and that’s okay. I pretty much fit in this category myself. Yes, it's nice to do something every once in a while, but I’m happy to do that any day – and I’m definitely not going to a restaurant because busyness is not my vibe. If this sounds like you – be confident in your decision. Don’t succumb to the pressure others may put on you to celebrate (unless that other is your partner of course – then maybe you need to talk about it) or to outdo their romantic gestures. Embrace the fact that Valentine’s isn’t your thing. Just ignore the day altogether if you want or do something lowkey together for no other reason than that you want to be together. And if you need a song to remind you that it's okay not to care about grand gestures or romantic letters, try Tina Turner’s “The Best”. This is such a powerful song about loving and appreciating everything about your partner – without the cheese.

Other songs for this vibe: “Still Into You” by Paramore, “You’re Still the One” by Shania Twain, and “Call it What You Want” by Taylor Swift.

The “Too Busy for Valentines” – “9-5” by Dolly Parton

Some people are just too busy for Valentine’s Day. Whether you’re a working girl, a busy mum, trying to balance study and life, or just never seem to find the time – this one’s for you. It may be that you want to celebrate Valentine’s but just don’t have the time. Or it may be that it passes by, completely unbeknownst to you, until somebody asks what you did – “oh I was working”. Or maybe you had to squeeze that dinner date in between the kid’s bedtime and yours. Whatever the circumstance, try to take a moment out of your packed day to be proud of yourself. You’re getting the job done, whatever that may be, and that’s amazing.

Dolly Parton’s classic “9-5” is the soundtrack to any working woman’s life. Dolly reminds us not to let the day to day get us down, to take hold of our busy lives, and to always keep dreaming. Alternatively, busy mums might find comfort in Carly Simon’s “Coming Around Again” which talks about holding onto love in the ever-changing world of being a parent.

Other songs for this vibe: “Respect” by Aretha Franklin, “Girl on Fire” by Alicia Keys, and “Coming Around Again” by Carly Simon.

The Galentine’s – “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” by Cindy Lauper

I’ve noticed this idea of “Galentine's Day” (usually celebrated Feb 13th but you do you) cropping up a fair bit in the last few years – and honestly, I’m on board. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, spending time with your girls is always important. And I just love the idea of getting everyone together for a cute girl’s picnic or a movie night or a zoom party if you can’t be all together right now. Why not even come up with a Valentine’s version of Secret Santa? Or maybe you could go around your neighbourhood as a group blessing other people. What a way to make everyone feel loved and appreciated on Valentine’s Day?

However, it is that you want to spend your Galentines, we’ve got your soundtrack ready. Cindy Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” is pretty much always the best starting point for any girl’s day. You’ll have your squad up and dancing in no time. Have a gal pal going through a tough time but don’t know how to let her know you’re there no matter what? You might find that Carole King’s “You’ve Got a Friend” expresses exactly what you want to say and what she needs to hear.

Other songs for this vibe: “You’ve Got a Friend” by Carole King, “Wannabe” by The Spice Girls, “Always Be Together” by Little Mix.

The Strong Independent Woman – “This Is Me” by Kaela Settle

This one is for the girls who are already confident in themselves and are ready to show it. But it’s also for the shy girls who want to be braver and more confident. It’s for the girls who know who they are, and for those girls who know who they want to be. This is for every girl and every woman who wants to spend this Valentine’s Day focussing on themselves and we’re here for it. So, do whatever makes you feel good, whether that’s getting your nails done, watching empowering TED Talks, or taking a refreshing solo hike.

Whatever it is that you choose to do, you’re gonna need a pump-up song. There are so many great songs about girl power and self-confidence but our main pick for you is “This Is Me” from The Greatest Showman. This song is all about embracing who you are and not letting society tell you who you ought to be. This song encourages everyone to be confident enough in themselves to dream big, and then actually take hold of those dreams. If you’re a little shy but keen to become more confident in yourself, I urge you to take a listen to Sara Bareilles’ “Brave”. Even if you’ve heard it before, listen closely to the lyrics and I’m sure you’ll find the encouragement you need.

Other songs for this vibe: “Good as Hell” by Lizzo, “Roar” by Katy Perry, and “Brave” by Sara Bareilles.

The First Valentines Together Couple – “This Will Be” by Natalie Cole

For some couples, the first Valentine’s Day together can be a big thing and you don’t quite know what to expect. Maybe you’re not sure whether to go all out or keep it lowkey. Maybe you’re super invested in this relationship and determined to make it work, but you don’t know whether your partner is on the same page. Maybe you’re just a bit nervous but want to make this day one that neither of you will forget, no matter what happens in the future.

Maybe this relationship will be the one, maybe it won’t. But there’s no need to dwell on those questions now and let them ruin your day. Be confident in you. Be confident in your relationship. Surprise your partner. Show them you how you feel. Do whatever feels right – this is your day. For me, Natalie Cole’s “This Will Be” is the perfect song to express positivity in your relationship. She’s all about confidence in love, and I think that no matter where you’re at in your relationship, if you believe in it, show it. But that may not be everyone’s style so check out some of the other songs below which might more suit where you’re at. All in all, have fun.

Other songs for this vibe: “Only Girl” by Rihanna, “Golden Hour” by Kacey Musgraves, ‘Love on Top” by Beyonce.

The Secret Crush – “How Will I Know” by Whitney Houston

Okay, so it probably sounds like an oxymoron if I say, “be confident in your secret crush”. Yep, I hear it too, but we’re rolling with it. On the one hand, Valentine’s Day can be great for people who fit into this category. I mean, it provides the perfect opportunity to send a secret love letter to your crush without it seeming out of the blue. But, on the other hand, I’m sure it can also be pretty heart wrenching to spend a day all about love, dreaming about someone who may not know you exist. But hey – if that’s you, you’re in pretty good company. Why not spend your day watching the “To All the Boys” trilogy on Netflix and dreaming that things might work out for you as well as they did for Lara Jean. Or even write your own love letter – however you want to express your feelings!

And if you need some other strong women to remind you that you’re not alone, Whitney Houston’s “How Will I Know” is a great place to start. Whitney tackles the uncertainties of love and loving someone even when you’re not sure if they feel the same.

Other songs for this vibe: “Make You Feel My Love” by Adele, “Secret Love Song Pt II” by Little Mix, “Yeah Boy” by Kelsea Ballerini

The Anti-Valentiner – “Love Song” by Sara Bareilles

Some people are just 100% anti-Valentine’s Day – honestly, most have us have probably been at some point, I know I have. So of course, I’m all for throwing an Anti-Valentine’s party, so long as we do so to be strong and confident in ourselves, and not simply just to tear others down! Naturally, if this sounds like your perfect vibe, you’ll need some ultra-sassy tunes to get you through the day and there’s no better place to start that “Love Song” by Sara Bareilles. Sara has zero time for love songs that are written just for the sake of it. She’s doing her own thing because that’s who she is, and she isn’t going to let societal expectations change her mind. Respect!

Or maybe you’re that friend who just knows when a guy is not good enough for your friend and you’ve told her over and over, but she just doesn’t get it. They call you cynical but you’re just looking out for her. Sound familiar? Well, if you haven’t heard Maren Morris’ “Drunk Girls Don’t Cry” you are missing out big time. Maren says what we’ve all wanted to say to that one friend who keeps going back to their ex – and she does so with a level of sass which is perfect for your Anti-Valentine’s Day.

Other songs for this vibe: “What’s Love Got to Do with It?” by Tina Turner, “Drunk Girls Don’t Cry” by Maren Morris, “No Scrubs” by TLC.

Make sure to check out the full playlist below!