Valentine's Day: Make drunken singing into a hairbrush acceptable again!!

Calling out to my fellow millennials. Bring your side parted hair and gather round!

This wouldn't be an Anti-Valentine's Day playlist without the classic opening song from Bridget Jones' Diary. As cringe worthy as it was epic, this scene made every one of us feel that little bit better about the time we too, had gotten drunk by ourselves and cried/sung a classic 80s love song at the top of our lungs. It was ok. We were not alone.

However, this Anti-Valentine's Day playlist has a different vibe. Blubbering into a mug of red wine is not really how the singles of today like to do Valentine's Day. Especially if your recent history includes a break up.

As we all know, there are two parts of a breakup: The Good and The Bad

Let's start with The Good

TBH, there is nothing like a banger of a break up song to pump up that self confidence and remind yourself that you WILL be back, better and stronger than before. Even if you were the one who got dumped, you can still pull the power moves and come out of this on top. One day, they'll remember you as the one that got away. Their loss.

Why it made the list:

• The irony.
• JT is unashamedly satisfied when she gets a taste of her own medicine.
• Video clip is incredible.

Why it made the list:

• Tay-Tay herself. Has any artist written more songs that belong in an Anti-Valentine's Day playlist?
• Taylor calls herself out. She fell for the bad boy and she got what she expected, but you know what? It was fun. FUN!! And life changing and passionate and brutal and wild and stupid. Through it all, she almost celebrates what she gained, celebrates the loss of naivety and the lessons learned.

Why it made the list:

• The title.
• Lily Allen hides her viciously clever lyrics behind melodic vocals and a beat that could be mistaken for a children's television show theme song.
• This man is not just a basic bad dude - she names and shames every hateful trait he possesses including misogyny, racism and homophobia. Ugh. Good riddance.

Why it made the list:

• This anthem is inspiring at any time, including V Day. Sorry boys, this one is just for the ladies. And we are powerful with or without a valentine 👊
• Beyoncé. Enough said.

Why it made the list:

• This powerhouse has all the boys on a string and does as she pleases. You go girl.
• Eye candy.

Why it made the list:

• This celebration of self is just what we all need on a day when you are seemingly irrelevant unless you're one half of a couple.
• Great hairbrush singing and lounge room dancing potential.
• Plenty of sass.

________________________________

Now we come to the other part of the breakup. The Bad.

I'm excluding full-on tearjerkers from this list. There are several reasons why I've made this decision, just trust me. Wallowing miserably in self pity is not something you will want to be doing after downing half a bottle of bubbly and belting the chorus of a Beyoncé song into your hairbrush.

However, there are some songs that perfectly capture that pang of regret or that moment of 'what have I lost?!' without causing you to ugly cry.

Here we go:

Why it made the list:

• It pulls you in. The lyrics and beat are so emotive that you are transported to the dance floor immediately.
• It isn't necessarily the cliche classic girl loses boy. We're never told exactly who she is singing about.
• She's clearly hurting but her energy is pure power.

Why it made the list:

• This song is just iconic. It is so familiar and the beat just makes me believe that he WILL get her back. Classic happy pop.
• Those outfits are perfection.

Why it made the list:

• This song enjoys a similar sense of 'subtle smack back' as the Justin Timberlake and Taylor Swift entries above. In 'Sorry', JB can't help himself and clearly suggests that his ex was also to blame for the break up (ok it's about Selena, I think we all know that). He’s made mistakes, sure, but so has she. He claims that he wants to say sorry but I don't think he really does. Certainly, his lyrics suggest otherwise. Haven't we all been there? We start off wishing they would come back and then we realise, HANG ON A MINUTE, you were a real pain in the ass and maybe I'm not sorry after all because maybe it was YOUR FAULT. Ahhh.. the sweet realisation that your ex was not Prince/Princess Charming after all. After that realisation comes, the moving on part is easy.
• The moves. These women are goddesses.