Valentine’s Day…represented by the flowers, candy, teddy bears all in the aisles of stores. The jewelry stores filled with people trying to find that special gift for that special one. Bleh. Now don’t think I’m a hater, because I am not. Believe me, I love the concept of love and what Valentine’s Day represents. But the holiday throws shade on those who are single. A relationship doesn’t necessarily define true love. Sometimes people just settle to say they have someone. Just because someone is single doesn’t make them unlucky in love or incapable of love. Sometimes being single is the best status to have until you are ready for that commitment. I know I am open to true love, but I am single and grown to love it.
But there was a time where I would have Brandy’s “Brokenhearted” and Mary J. Blige’s “Not Gon’ Cry” on repeat. A single girl telling herself she wouldn’t fall in love with a fool again, but still remembering the pain. Sitting in a dark room, singing with my whole chest, tears welling up in my eyes. Then, Keyshia Cole’s “Let It Go” played letting a sister know, girl if you don’t perk up and let it go. So, now when the hearts are a flutter on this day, my playlist starts with my girl Fantasia’s “I’m Doing Me” to remind myself that single or not, every woman ought to take time to live her life and reach her goals, to not keep giving and settling for something less than she is worth. Sometimes, memories of past heartbreak come in and I have to listen to Joss Stone’s “Bruised but not Broken”, to remind myself that I did love once and it didn’t work, but I will be alright and I will love again. Her song reminds me that healing must take place first and foremost. Then Whitney Houston’s “Exhale” reassures me that I can exhale, and not allow the lack of a significant other to make me feel alone.
Love starts from loving yourself, embrace yourself as your own valentine. That is why Jazmine Sullivan’s “Masterpiece” is on repeat, letting me know whether single or with somebody, you still must love yourself, every flaw and all. Be your own #1 fan. When I am feeling so good about myself, Chaka Khan’s “I’m Every Woman” rings in my ear because I know who I am and what I have to offer. The images on social media show couples sharing posts about what their partners did for them. When you are single, you get questioned on why. When these images and questions emerge, I have to listen to Toni Braxton’s “Let It Flow” because I owe no one an explanation on why I choose not to settle.
If I could write a book on how I wasted love and time on the wrong guys and how I was treated, can you say a page turner. But, in the end, it’s what I allowed, lesson learned, won’t make those mistakes anymore. Mary J. Blige’s “No More Drama” reaffirms this, having me bop to the fact that I am over unnecessary drama, because I am at peace. This is when the hip hop enters my playlist. Goodie Mob’s “Beautiful Skin” is a reminder that as a woman, self-respect is important. When you love and respect yourself, you will attract someone who sees and loves you for you. I am feeling good because on my anti-valentine’s day playlist is a dedication to my exes, Big Sean’s “I Don’t F with You”, not because I am bitter but because I am better. No harm, no foul, no love lost, just glad I moved on to myself. In the end, Beyoncé’s “Me, Myself, and I” confirms that inner trinity within myself.
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It's Yours Now
"It’s yours now". These words resonated in Cali’s mind as she stared at the little black notebook in her hand. She was shocked when the old woman, frantic and frightened shoved the notebook in her hand. It was like the woman was running from someone, and then gone in a flash. She wondered what was this notebook and why was it hers now? In hindsight, she wished she would have left the notebook somewhere, anywhere instead of keeping it. Her only reaction was to stuff the notebook in her purse and hurry home. As she ran down the alley, it seemed home was a million miles away. Shadows from the street seemed to be following her. “Just keep going,” she told herself as perspiration fell from her brow. Fear began to slow her steps as she approached her apartment. She could feel her heart beating loudly as her sweaty palms and fingers fumbled with her keys to open the door. Finally, opening the door, Cali rushed in and locked the door latch, breathing heavily. Frustrated, she angrily threw her purse on the couch, in which the little black notebook fell out onto the floor. Cali knelt and picked up the notebook. She stared at the notebook tempted to open it. Placing the notebook on the kitchen counter, she told herself that she would not open the notebook, that she would dispose of it immediately. Her mind went back to the old woman, wondering who she was. Cali wondered how the woman got the notebook. She recalled the look in the old woman's eyes when they ran into each other. When she helped the woman up, all Cali could see was fear and desperation. The old woman practically begged Cali to take the notebook. After grabbing some water to cool down, Cali sat down and turned on the TV. To her surprise, the old woman's face was suddenly on the screen. She was reported as missing. Cali could feel her heart racing again. Peering at the black notebook on the counter, she wondered did it have anything to do with the woman's disappearance. She began to wonder was she next. She walked back over to the counter and picked up the notebook, examining it as if its contents would be revealed without her opening it. Her fingers stroked the weathered, black leather cover, but her conscience would not let her turn a page. Placing the notebook back on the counter, she sat down again on the couch, more confused than ever. Interrupting her thoughts, there was a sudden knock on the door. That one knock struck fear in Cali as she crept towards the door. She looked through the peephole but didn't see anybody. Slowly, opening the door, she looked down the hall, but saw no one. As she closed the door, her foot hit something. On the floor, there lay a bulky envelope. Hesitantly, Cali picked up the envelope. Her fingers trembled as she opened the envelope. Enclosed in the envelope was $20,000 in $100 bills. She wondered who left it, then her mind went back to the black notebook. Curiosity and fear fought within her as she wondered what was in this notebook. Cali wondered what the connection between the money and the notebook was, or if there was any. She dropped the envelope with money next to the notebook on the counter and decided she would call the police in the morning. She would let them know about the old woman, the notebook, and the money. Maybe that would put her nerves at ease, squelching her curiosity to open the notebook. As she made up her mind, she saw a slip of paper on the floor. Cali figured it fell out of the envelope. A dark feeling of impending doom fell upon her as she picked up the paper. Chills ran down her spine as she read the words scribbled in black ink. OPEN THE NOTEBOOK.
By Regina Greathouse5 years ago in Horror
'20/20'
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By RapRadarDigest7 days ago in Beat
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