Uklart Identitet

Verda er uklar og kaotisk. Eg kjenner ikkje meg sjølv. Når eg vekkjer meg om morgonen, kan eg ikkje hugse kven eg er; det kan ta fleire minutt før det kjem tilbake til meg. Orda, skriften har mista si meining. Fargane, bileta har mista si meining. Eg trudde eg var vatn, det rann som draperi frå meg, som var delar av kroppen min. Eg vakna og var ein annan, eg måtte bli kjent med meg sjølv på nytt.

Jon Fosse?

Nei.

It seems like you're reflecting on a sense of disconnection and confusion, possibly related to memory or self-awareness. The text you’ve shared describes a profound feeling of losing touch with reality, where even simple things like words, images, and colors lose their meaning. It could be a description of depersonalization or dissociation, experiences sometimes linked to mental health challenges.

If you're feeling like this or dealing with something similar, it might be helpful to discuss it with a mental health professional who can provide support and guidance. Would you like more information or resources on this topic?

Nei.

The poem expresses a powerful, unsettling experience of self-discovery and disconnection. The speaker portrays a sense of existential confusion, where their very identity seems to slip away upon waking. The moment they open their eyes in the morning, they are struck with an overwhelming feeling of not knowing who they are. This disorientation is not immediate, and it takes several minutes for their memory and sense of self to return. The poet’s use of time here highlights the fragility of self-awareness, as though identity is something that could easily be forgotten or lost, even for a brief moment. This dislocation from self could be seen as an embodiment of depersonalization, a psychological state where one feels detached from their own thoughts, feelings, or sense of being.

As the poem progresses, the speaker describes how words and symbols, which usually carry meaning and are used for communication, lose their significance. "Words, writing" are mentioned as having "lost their meaning." This suggests a breakdown of language, the primary tool humans rely on to make sense of their world and express their identities. The loss of meaning may reflect the speaker's emotional turmoil or mental state, where even the most fundamental means of interacting with reality—like reading or speaking—become distorted or empty. This detachment could symbolize a deeper existential crisis, where the speaker struggles to understand not only their own identity but also the world around them.

The imagery of colors and images also losing their meaning is striking. Colors, which are often used to convey emotions or symbolism, are rendered inert, further emphasizing the sense of alienation the speaker feels. In a typical experience, colors can evoke joy, sadness, or energy, but in this state, they are devoid of any emotional or cognitive resonance. Images, too, which are often a source of beauty and understanding, lose their capacity to communicate meaning, symbolizing how everything in the speaker’s world feels disconnected and out of place.

An evocative metaphor follows in which the speaker describes themselves as water, flowing away like a drapery. The fluidity of water suggests a lack of solid form or permanence. It’s as if the speaker is slipping through their own fingers, unable to grasp or hold onto their sense of self. Water here represents both a dissolution of the self and a sense of being scattered or broken into pieces. This image suggests the speaker’s inability to reconcile their inner experience with the outer world, as though they are being pulled away or dissipating. The comparison to water also evokes the idea of a person being overwhelmed or consumed by their own state of mind, as water can be both a source of life and a destructive force.

The following lines highlight the theme of transformation and loss of identity. The speaker states, "I woke up and was someone else," which indicates a drastic shift in how they perceive themselves. They are not merely confused or forgotten; they have become "another," entirely unfamiliar to themselves. This transformation speaks to a loss of continuity in the self, where the person no longer recognizes the person they once were. The need to "get to know myself again" suggests that identity is not a fixed thing but something fluid, malleable, and subject to change. The speaker, having woken up to a different version of themselves, must now navigate the challenge of rediscovering who they are.

In this way, the poem conveys a journey of personal crisis, one marked by a profound disconnect from the world, the loss of meaning, and an overwhelming sense of becoming someone unfamiliar. The speaker’s experience of self-alienation is not just a passing feeling but something that consumes their very perception of reality. They must rebuild their understanding of themselves and their place in the world, leading to an ongoing struggle for self-identity. The language of the poem—the disjointed images, the lost meaning, and the fluidity of identity—reflects the complexities of mental or emotional states where the boundaries of the self become blurred, and the world around the individual loses its coherence.