The Story of My Year

Before I get into my story, I want you to know how much I love music! I have thousands of songs downloaded on my phone and listen to every genre! I'm actually an artist myself and have songs available on Spotify. This is such a fantastic idea for a writing challenge, I wasn't sure how I'd write my story at first, but I'm happy with how it turned out. I hope you enjoy it!

The Story of My Year (2024)

My year began with the release of my very first studio-recorded single. I spent the month of January promoting the song on social media. My music isn't at the level I one day plan to reach, but it still blows my mind that I was able to make a song Like This:

The story continues with a gorgeous Latina girl I met on Hinge; we had a short-term long-distance relationship. Our first date was at an arcade; we played ping pong for hours, played some arcade games, and ended the night with a drink at a restaurant. For the second date, we went ice skating on an outdoor trail at the Blue Mountain Resort in Collingwood, Ontario. I paid for an overpriced meal at a fancy Italian restaurant, and we stayed in an Airbnb together. The following day, we went to a winter festival, test-drove a Tesla, and built Legos in her bedroom. The last time I saw her was Valentine's Day, I bought her roses, and we had sex. The following week, she told me through text that the relationship was over, which I found relieving. I didn't expect things to work out between us; she was my bloody valentine.

After my exciting little dating experience, it was time to return to my obligations; I had work to do. I spent the next few months going hard in the gym, working long hours, and writing new songs. Craving success, I put all of my energy into achieving my goals. I was Hungry.

One of my biggest dreams is to become a professional recording artist. I've always been drawn to music and have used songwriting as a therapeutic exercise. Whenever I'd find myself stuck in a rut, I Wrote My Way Out.

Recently, in the past two years, I've focused more on turning my passion for music into a legitimate career. I came across an Instagram post about an opportunity to work with other independent artists in the early spring. It was called Underground Retreats. It is an event where 30 artists and producers spend 7 days in a mansion making an album. Immediately hooked, I signed up, locked in my payment, and stayed overnight in a Toronto hotel a few months later. The following day, I was Heading South.

The retreat was exactly how I imagined it would be; the people were all amazing, and the environment was incredible. However, it didn't go as I had planned. Surrounded by talented people and burdened with the self-imposed requirement to deliver exceptional music, I stayed in my bubble, afraid to collaborate. My anxiety had taken over. I'm not too fond of Anxiety.

I recognized signs in others and noticed they were dealing with personal fears and insecurities. It didn't matter. I tried hard to convince myself I should take a chance; I would've been better off convincing a polar bear to play basketball. It doesn't matter how hard I try; I struggle to prevail while Fighting Myself.

After a few days of avoidance, I finally overcame the fear of failure, only to be overcome with the fear of success. When I was at the listening party, seeing how everyone reacted to the other artist's songs, I realized I didn't want that kind of attention. Instead of carrying out the responsibility of interacting with my peers, I spent the whole week hiding in my room. I started reflecting on past failures in similar situations; I wondered if I would ever escape this cycle. I questioned if anyone else could relate. Do others feel like me? or is it me Only?

Returning home, it felt like I accomplished nothing. During the retreat, I experienced something most people never will: being filled with incredible inspiration, acquiring new knowledge, discovering more about myself, meeting super-talented people, writing fantastic song lyrics, and even writing a short story. Unfortunately, I didn't see it that way. At that moment, it felt like all the time and energy I had put into my music over the past two years was a WASTE.

The retreat was expensive; I still wonder if it was worth attending. It was like I was in the cut scenes of a Netflix movie. I might've lost a few life-changing opportunities, but witnessing other artists create fantastic music was incredible. The idea that I shared a house with someone who might potentially become a famous celebrity is still unbelievable. I added a lot of good songs to my playlist, too. One song, in particular, resonated highly with me; after all, this year, I've been Broke AF.

After the retreat, I spent a few weeks fighting my inner demons. The darkness of depression loomed over me like a storm cloud before the rain. Refusing to fall back into a life of misery, I began to accept the past for what it was. Failures are only lessons along the paths we take in our lives. Instead of looking at the missed opportunities, I began to look at the accomplishments and goals I achieved. I went to the music studio in my hometown and recorded some songs I wrote, and the reaction from the studio engineer gave me the validation I was looking for. I started to see the light in the darkness; it was a Beautiful Pain.

After bouncing back, I continued in the pursuit of my dreams. My job was going well, my health was fantastic, and my music life was hopeful. Still, something was missing. Feeling lonely, I returned to Hinge to meet another woman. I found one; she was pretty, but we had different lifestyles. We had a few good dates: bowling, mini-golfing, and playing pool. Still, Deep down, I knew it wouldn't last between us. I played along with the romantics in the hope of something natural developing, but I never felt the attraction. When I finally told her it was over, she called me and started crying as I tried to explain why I didn't want her. You can't force a puzzle piece if it's not its place. I felt slight relief when it was over, mixed with the uneasy feeling of disgust for what I had done. It wasn't intentional, but I broke her heart playing a Wicked Game.

I told her I needed time to work on myself, so that's what I did. I started reading more often, working out consistently, and yearning for new knowledge. I also released an EP on Spotify. I'm far from the level of a professional artist, but hopefully, my music can be an inspiration For the Dreamers!

It wasn't long before I downloaded Bumble, deciding to switch things up from Hinge in the hopes of a better outcome. After a few days, I matched with a beautiful woman who I believed was out of my league. We were both off work for the week and decided to meet up for coffee. I arrived early at the cafe. I was very nervous and had expected a short date. After coffee, we went to a pumpkin patch, visited an antique shop, took her dog for a walk, ate at a vegan McDonalds, and checked out an art gallery. The date went far better than I ever expected; I kissed her when it was over and drove home with a huge grin. My anxiety was nowhere to be found; I was Feeling Good.

A few days later, we went hiking together. This girl lived a few hours from where I lived, so we met in the middle at a conservation area called Eugenia Falls. After walking that trail and enjoying the views, we drove to Duncan Provincial Park. We started getting to know each other well. After exploring a cave, we left Duncan and went to a nearby beach. Laying on the grass together, I believed I would love her for the better Half of forever.

It was getting late, and we were getting hungry; she is a vegan, so finding a restaurant was quite challenging. I found one on Google, but we couldn't find it in real life. Parked on the side of the road, I was determined to find a vegan restaurant in the area. My determination must've turned her on; before I knew it, we were making out in the front seat of my car, parked on the side of the road while other vehicles drove by. We went somewhere a little more private, and... I won't share any more details about what happened; all you need to know is that we had a good time. we fell in love in october.

The thought had crossed my mind that she might be the one, until the next night, she suggested we go out with her friends to an arcade bar. Don't get me wrong, that sounds like a great time! Unfortunately, I have been cursed with social anxiety. Against my own advice, I made an excuse for not going. Instead, we planned for a third date the following weekend. The fire I felt on the first date started fading, and a new feeling was creeping through my heart; it was Cold.

Throughout that week, intrusive, deceptive, and unwanted thoughts began to infiltrate my mind. I started losing confidence and searching for reasons to leave the relationship. I continued texting her daily, hoping those devious thoughts would disappear, but they never did. The morning before our date, I canceled on her over text, and to make things worse, I said we should go our separate ways. I felt numb.

She called me expecting an explanation, and she deserved one. I struggled to explain why I didn't want her, probably because I did like her, but I couldn't tell her I was scared of love. During our long conversation, she told me I'm attractive, that I make her feel safe, and that I am a good person. I've been trying to figure out why she liked me, but I still Don't Understand.

I felt terrible for leading her on, and to make things worse, I wrote a song about it. Eventually, I told her the truth about the fact that I'm a neurotic introvert with social anxiety who was scared to fall in love with a beautiful woman. I only realized my flaws once I left her without knowing The Reason.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm not ready for love; music is now my main focus. I'm holding on to the hope that I will eventually find a soulmate, but for now, it's just Me, Myself, and I.

I've had many highs and lows this year, learned a lot about myself, and continue striving to improve my life. I'm ending 2024 with a positive attitude. I'm doing my best to worry less; after all, I know everything will Turn out fine.

The End

Hope you enjoyed my story!

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The Album that was created during the retreat:

The short story I wrote while at the retreat:

The EP I released this summer: