The Soundtrack of a Year

The year unfolded like a song, each chapter marked by a melody that spoke to my soul, comforting me in times of need, lifting me when I was low, and celebrating with me in moments of pure joy. As I reflect on the months that passed, I realize that music was the constant companion to every major moment in my life. It was there during my triumphs and failures, my solitude, and my crowded gatherings. Each note, each lyric, was a marker of where I had been and who I was becoming.

If I could craft a playlist of my past year, it would tell the story of transformation, unexpected endings, and the quiet beauty of starting anew.

Chapter 1: "Lost Stars" – A Prelude to Change

It was early January when the song "Lost Stars" by Adam Levine played for the first time on a chilly morning, as I sat on the windowsill of my apartment, staring at the gray sky outside. The start of the year had been filled with uncertainty. I had made resolutions, as everyone does, but I wasn’t sure where I was headed. I had just left a job that didn’t satisfy me anymore, unsure of what was next but hoping that somehow, I would find my path.

The song echoed in my mind: “Who are we? Just a speck of dust within the galaxy.” There was something poignant about it, something that resonated with my deep sense of being adrift in a vast universe, uncertain of my place in it all. It reminded me that, like the stars, we can sometimes feel lost. But even the lost stars are still part of the same cosmic dance, still beautiful in their own right.

That song played endlessly throughout those first weeks of the year. It became a lullaby for my restless spirit, as I tried to find the courage to trust the journey and embrace the unknown. The music carried me through that transitional time, and though I didn’t have all the answers, I knew I wasn’t alone.

Chapter 2: "Good as Hell" – Finding Empowerment

By March, the heaviness from January had lifted. The fog began to clear as I m.I made bold decisions, ones I had previously hesitated to take. I finally distanced myself from toxic relationships that had drained my energy, and I began to focus on my growth, free from the expectations of others.

During this time, "Good as Hell" by Lizzo played loudly from my speakers whenever I needed a boost. The lyrics “I do my hair toss, check my nails, baby how you feelin'? / Feeling good as hell” became my anthem.

Lizzo’s unapologetic confidence and her ability to embrace her worth, even in tough times, was just what I needed. I started to rediscover my power, not through external validation, but through recognizing my inherent value.

It wasn’t merely a song—it was a reminder to celebrate my strength, to love myself fiercely, and to walk through life with my head held high. I began taking more risks, applying for new jobs, reaching out to people I admired, and, most importantly, learning to say no to things that didn’t serve me. The music became the soundtrack to my empowerment, and it felt good as hell.

Chapter 3: "The Night We Met" – Love Lost and Found

Then came the summer. A season when I thought I had everything figured out, but love had its plans for me. "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron, a hauntingly beautiful song, became the backdrop to a love story that was brief yet deeply significant.

I met someone who seemed to embody everything I desired. We talked for hours, strolled under the stars, and shared our deepest hopes and fears. For a fleeting, glorious moment, I believed this was it. But life, as it often does, had other plans. That relationship ended as swiftly as it had begun, leaving me with only memories and the bittersweet echo of that song in my mind.

The lyrics “I had all and then most of you / Some and now none of you” resonated with me in a way I couldn’t ignore. They captured the longing, the uncertainty, and the quiet pain of loss, while also reflecting the beauty that can arise from such experiences. I had to let go.

The phrase “and then most of you / Some and now none of you” resonated deeply with me. It encapsulated the longing, uncertainty, and subtle pain of loss, while also highlighting the beauty that can emerge from such experiences. I had to release what was never meant to endure, and in that process, I learned to appreciate the transient nature of love, cherishing the moments for what they were instead of lamenting what they could have been.

Yet, as the relationship faded, I came to understand that it wasn’t a failure. It was a chapter, a lesson in discovering what I truly needed in my life, ultimately making me stronger and more aware of the love I deserved.

Chapter 4: "Here Comes the Sun" – New Beginnings

With the arrival of autumn came a sense of renewal. The days grew shorter, and the air carried a crispness that hinted at change. It was during this season that I heard “Here Comes the Sun” by The Beatles playing softly in the background. The song, timeless and uplifting, felt like a gentle assurance that things were improving, that the darkness of winter was receding, and that light—both literal and metaphorical—was on its way back.

I had secured a new job that ignited my passion, one that aligned more closely with my values and creative aspirations. I was surrounded by new friends, fresh opportunities, and a sense of stability I hadn’t felt in months. There was still work ahead, but the song served as a reminder that the darkest days are always followed by the dawn. It brought a sense of peace, a feeling that the hard work, heartache, and waiting had all been worthwhile. The sun was shining again, and I had learned to appreciate its warmth in a new light.

Chapter 5: "Ocean Eyes" – Quiet Reflection

As the year drew to a close, I found myself in a more tranquil space. The hustle and bustle of life had quieted down, allowing me to spend more time in introspection, reflecting on all I had experienced—the highs and lows, the challenges and the growth. In these moments of quiet reflection, I often found myself drawn to “Ocean Eyes.”by Billie Eilish became my companion.

The song, with its soft, haunting melody and evocative lyrics, captured the melancholy of the year’s end—the way we reflect on our journey and see it as a series of moments strung together, each tied to a feeling, a song, a memory. Billie’s voice, tender and vulnerable, mirrored the quiet introspection I was experiencing. I thought about all the ways I had changed, the lessons I had learned, and the person I was becoming.

“You know how to make me cry / When you give me those ocean eyes”—that line felt so raw, so honest. It was the sound of letting go, of accepting the past with grace and finding beauty in the complexity of emotions that come with it.

Chapter 6: "Save Your Tears" – Letting Go

As the year came to a close, “Save Your Tears” by The Weeknd found its way into my playlist. It reflected everything that had come before, all the moments of doubt and heartbreak, and the resilience that had carried me through.

The beat was infectious, the lyrics cathartic: “Save your tears for another day.” It felt as if the song was telling me that it was okay to cry, to feel the weight of it all, but also to let go, to stop holding on to what had hurt me. The tears had been shed, the lessons learned, and now, it was time to move forward, not in sorrow, but in strength and hope.

Epilogue: A New Year, A New Song

As I close the chapter on this year, I realize that each song, each note, and each lyric, has told a part of my story. Music was my guide, my comfort, and my celebration. It expressed the words I couldn’t find and painted the pictures I couldn’t describe. The year, like a song, has been both difficult and beautiful, filled with moments of joy and sorrow, of growth and reflection. And as the new year begins, I’m excited to see what music will accompany me in the chapters to come.

For now, as I listen to the gentle strains of my favorite song from the past year, I know this much: the soundtrack of my life is constantly evolving and changing, yet it will always reflect who I am, who I was, and who I am becoming. With each new song that plays, I welcome the journey ahead, prepared for whatever comes next