The Songs That Saved Me

With how difficult this year was for me, there was always music to drown out the chaos. These songs hold a special place in my heart and provided comfort during my darkest times. I hope some of these songs make it to your playlist and can help you in ways they helped me <3

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Home - Catie Turner

This song is one I have been listening to for several years. 2019 was nearly as hard as this year and reintroducing this song into my life was probably the best thing I did for myself. While it is a song mainly about love and finding a home within a person, I often found comfort in the notion that it is a place that I was searching for that I haven't been to yet. It was hope that home does exist and I will find it one day. Thankfully, I have found a home within the people closest to me as well as a place my soul feels the most at peace.

Matilda - Harry Styles

This song was sent to me by a friend who wanted to remind me that found family is just as important as the family you are born into. This song and Home were always comforting to me in order to calm any anxiety I had. I still listen to it and imagine myself happy with people who I have kept in my life over the years. Such a great song to help those who are feeling alone during the holiday season.

Older - Alec Benjamin

This song helped me feel so very seen. Struggling at a young age, I never thought I would be around for this long and I was floating. I didn't know what I wanted to do and I felt very stuck. Listening to this song really reminds me that I'm not the only one who doesn't know what life is going to be like or knows what they're doing. We're all living life for the first time and some people are just better at faking that they're okay with the unknown. Getting older also sometimes sucks. Seeing all the changes and feeling like you can’t embrace the things you used to enjoy because of society, it’s sad sometimes. But there’s always hope to share that love and getting older doesn’t mean you can’t heal your inner child.

All I Know So Far - P!nk

I found this song randomly as I needed hope for better days. This song made me realize that I may not know what life is going to bring, but I do know the lessons it has taught me. We are all trying to survive a life for the first time and we need to give ourselves grace. We will learn and grow through experiences, both good and bad. I think this song does a great job of reminding me of that. It’s also one of those songs I would listen to in order to calm my anxiety. There were days this past year that it was on repeat just so I could calm the racing thoughts.

Golden - Ruth B.

My best friend sent this song to me after my relationship with music fell apart. I had dropped out of music school and felt like a failure, my best friend sent this as a reminder that I am still good enough. The fire doesn’t burn the same for music as it once did, but that doesn’t mean everything I did was worthless or meaningless. It showed me how passionate I can be and how dedicated I can be when I see a goal I want to achieve. Nowadays, this song just gives me more motivation into dedicating myself to things that feel right. Thankfully, I’ve found a fire and I’m happy. Very grateful to have been shared this song.

At My Best - MGK Ft. Haliee Steinfeld

This is a song I have been listening to since high school. My best friend saw me struggling keeping a friend group alive at the time and being blamed for things that weren’t my fault. I felt defeated and broken down. When she sent this to me, I remember her saying that even though I’m at my worst, I am still loved by people who are willing to walk through the battle with me. Anytime I listen to this song, it reminds me of her and how grateful I am of our friendship. I deserve and you deserve to be surrounded by people who love us at our worst. If not, they don’t deserve us at our best.

This song is the ultimate classic. It's also one of those songs that has helped with my anxiety. This past year has probably been the hardest time of my life and while I would have some breakdowns to this song, it gave me enough hope to keep going and hold on to the idea that while this chapter is rough, there will be a better chapter of my story to come. I'm glad I held on, it was worth it.

And finally, this song. Seeing the Barbie movie, I cried so much. The experiences I could relate to and then the song attached to it, pure raw emotion. I was in such a deep hole that I really didn't know if I would come out. "Think I forgot how to be happy" was the line I related to so much at the time and I look back now and I am so utterly proud of the true strength I had to get through it all. A lot of the struggle was inhumane and no person should ever feel less than human, but regardless, I made it through. Fighting isn't what I was made for, but advocasy was. Now, I fight for others so they never go through what I did and maybe that's what I was made for.

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I hope some of these songs can bring you the deepest comfort it brought me. These songs kept me sane and helped me through so much. I wish you all the happiest of new years and I hope that this year for you all is better than the last. Lots of love from me <3