The Sabrina Carpenter Slowburn (Girl Meets World)

This review is Part III of my critical chronicle of Sabrina Carpenter. For Part II of The Sabrina Carpenter Slowburn, click here.

My written analysis does not contain spoilers for any visual media in this article. However, some hyperlinks and embedded videos within this article contain spoilers. You have been warned.

Please check out the Spotify playlist below that features noteworthy songs and references relevant to this series.

The transition from singing competition hopeful to five-album contract was not a seamless adjustment. Sabrina was waist-deep in minor roles and oddball jobs before catching her break with Disney Channel.

And when I say oddball jobs, I mean jump-on-one-leg, bark-like-a-dog, wave-your-paws-in-the-air-like-you-just-don't-care kind of oddball.

Look at all these roles Sabrina booked from 2012-2013:

• The Unprofessional (never aired) — cast as Harper
• Gulliver Quinn (2012) — cast as Iris, eccentric schoolkid
• Noobz (2012) — cast as Brittney, gas station potty-mouth child
• Phineas and Ferb (2012) — cast as minor role, voice-over
• The Goodwin Games (2012-2013) — cast as Young Chloe Goodwin
• Austin & Ally (2013) — cast as Lucy, singing reality show contestant
• Sofia the First (2013) — cast as Vivian, creative princess
• Horns (2013) — cast as Young Merrin, protagonist love interest
• Orange Is The New Black (2013) — cast as Jessie Wedge, school bully

By 2014, Sabrina had landed at least ten different acting roles, spanning action-comedy flicks, horror films, TV dramas, children's cartoons, and alternative-mayonnaise adverts. Despite the randomness of these one-off roles, the diversity in genres, characters, and audiences tested Sabrina. She quickly learned the tricks and trades of on-screen entertainment.

The influence of Nancy Cartwright does diminish the impressiveness of this feat. I would be a blunt tool to believe Sabrina acquired all of these appearances purely by merit — not all fourth grade dropouts get to shoot a commercial in Romania and perform Adele's "Don't You Remember" on a Romanian after-school special. Some strings were definitely pulled; some money was probably exchanged.

But I refuse to label Sabrina as some talentless trust fund kid. Beyond her excellent vocals, Sabrina has a great feel for how to play her role and how to engage her audience. Even through the growing pains of naturally becoming her characters, her acting choices felt deliberate. She does not land her delivery every time, but I could always identify her intention.

Her performances during this era range from passable to remarkable, molding Sabrina into a Swiss-Army knife of personality and charm. Standouts include her adorable duet in Sofia the First and her tender moments in the Daniel Radcliffe thriller, Horns. I must also highlight her scathing evisceration of an unemployed, recently-dumped gamer bro in the sexist-edgelord drivel named Noobz.

Holy shit! I certainly couldn't sleep after that espresso roast.

As her acting career picked up a caffeine boost, Sabrina scored larger, higher-profile music performances. In a 2012 game between the Chicago Cubs and her home state Philadelphia Phillies, Sabrina sang "God Bless America" to an audience of 45,550. Eleven months later, Sabrina sang the Star Spangled Banner at a Lakers-Wizards match to nearly 19,000. While her patriotic performances did not motivate the home teams to defeat their opponents, she did a serviceable-if-shaky job. Hell, Sabrina sang in front of Kobe Bryant and correctly pronounced prairies, so I call that a win.

Although sabrinastar99 took a back seat to her public performances, Sabrina found time to charm her online fans. Tapped into the early 2010's wave, Sabrina performed "Cups (When I'm Gone)", covered Taylor Swift in a professional studio, downloaded Vine, and danced to One Direction.

In fact, when America's Funniest Home Videos assigned their viewers to lip-synch and dance to "Call Me Maybe", Sabrina and a friend shot and submitted their 'failed' attempt. Their clip was broadcast in the final compilation on ABC. The "Call Me Maybe" segment is no longer available in the archived episode.

When the hustle and bustle of her career could momentarily hibernate, Sabrina pushed official Christmas releases. Sabrina's earliest song on Spotify was a cover of "I'll Be Home For Christmas" as arranged by Rascal Flatts. Together with Ali Brustofski and Danielle Lowe, the trio beautifully belted a breathtaking ballad, harmonies melting like gingerbread icing.

The same cannot be said about "Silver Nights" and "Christmas The Whole Year Round", both released as singles under Hollywood Records. Not much to remember here, other than that random Norman Rockwell reference. Like many Christmas pop-crossovers, these candy-coated carols are more commercial than competent. We can keep the live version of Silver Nights on the nice list, though.

Sabrina also provided vocals for soundtracks under Walt Disney Records. In 2012, she supplied "Smile" for the fourth installment of the Tinkerbell-led movies, Secret of the Wings. If you want indistinctive melodies, obnoxiously mixed percussion, and lyrics smothered in toxic positivity, this saccharine spectacle will smack a big, bruising smile across your face.

For live-action soundtracks, Sabrina contributed "Stand Out" for How To Build A Better Boy and "Rescue Me" for Teen Beach 2. Bookended as credits music, "Stand Out" features Sabrina singing fortune-cookie platitudes over a stiff, tresillo beat. However, the catchy melody and sweet vocals on the bridge save the song from its Disney doldrums.

"Rescue Me" is similarly rescued by Sabrina's breezy singing and a surprisingly endearing bridge. Although the tambourine could try harder, the composition and delivery are exerting just enough effort for a relaxed tone without dipping too many toes into the lazy river. The sensible soundtrack for a high school beach-themed slow dance.

Ever wonder what would happen if "Do You Want to Build A Snowman?" and "We Are The World" waltzed in on a ninth-grade abstinence lecture accompanied by the callous caterwauling of Alexander Hamilton's son?

Sabrina was a busy woman. Perpetually juggling oddball jobs of varying quality, limbs pulled in every direction. Sabrina was at the goddamn Planes: Fire and Rescue premiere for crying out loud!

Maybe “Rescue Me” was Sabrina crying out loud.

But after all those rollouts and red carpets, Sabrina no longer had to wait for a day like this to come. All those auditions, performances, releases, roles, and online engagement had led Sabrina to the edge of something wonderful.

In 2013, Sabrina was casted as Maya Hart in the Disney Channel series, Girl Meets World.

Girl Meets World has aged strangely. Search up the many retrospectives and Reddit reviews on this Boy Meets World spinoff and you will find every polarizing take on the world and its titular girls.

And there is plenty to praise and criticize.

The show compellingly engages with relevant, real-life issues. The show is full of exaggerated caricatures and unrealistic resolutions. The show embraces critical thinking, education, empathy, self-identity, and family values. The show boasts about individual freedom while heavily preaching certain beliefs and pigeonholing (even fucking gaslighting) characters to certain identities. The show handles bullying and divorce with affectionate care. The show handles autism with the proficiency of AI Overview.

My most daring criticism of Girl Meets World is that the writers are always patting themselves on the back. The series has a superiority complex, flexing its scriptwriting as if it was scripture. As if they can disarm themselves from Disney Channel tropes by mere assertion and nostalgia.

But when the show does strike that emotional chord... I want to shed myself from critique. Wash off my misery. Delude myself.

I just want to feel good. And this darn show is my ticket there.

Girl Meets World is a seriously-flawed-yet-solid series for campy family programming. And given its network limitations, Girl Meets World is a Disney Channel sitcom of the upper echelon (trust me, it gets way worse).

If the pseudo-intellectualism, pretentiousness, and puritanical posturing of the show convinces you to reach for the remote, I completely understand your disdain. Feel free to flame this social tokenist slop in the comments.

No matter your take of the series, the Girl Meets World theme song is undeniably glorious.

"Take On The World" is an adrenaline rush alerting everyone in earshot to sprint to the front of their televisions. Every melody will instantly seize your brain. Every corny lyric is sung with euphoric, bright-eyed exuberance. Every production choice is ear candy, deliciously designed to tingle every single taste bud of your nostalgia.

The theme gains its power through its pacing and composition. The chord structure revolves around the F major chord. As the root chord, its placement provides a sense of resolution and home. Thus, the pacing of the theme builds anticipation to reach the satisfying F chord.

Once we return to the F chord, the theme leaves home again. The theme encounters more character development and production ideas. Although more sounds are introduced, the steady percussion and guitar-and-kick layered bum-bum-bums always accompany the adventure. The theme will arrive back home, ready for the next ride to begin.

"Take On The World" is more than a catchy tune — it's a rallying cry for discovering a world still waiting to be explored.

The consensus crown jewel of Girl Meets World is Maya Hart. The writers and producers executed an amazing character arc for Maya. More than any other character, the show nurtured her development with a progression that feels natural and purposeful (until the writers nuked it in Season 3).

The executives gave Sabrina a wonderful script. Sabrina enhanced their script by a hundredfold.

On a set of emotionally-maturing child actors, Sabrina was a seasoned professional. Her extensive experience in one-off roles honed her versatility and shaped her into a dynamic actress. Her delivery is sharp and witty. Her movements are pronounced yet rarely overplayed. Her chemistry with every cast member is palpable. She masterfully switches between spontaneity, deflection, and vulnerability without giving the audience whiplash.

Sabrina fluidly communicates the complexity of her character whenever the cameras are rolling. And what an inspiring character she plays...

Maya Hart is a spunky, rambunctious wisecrack with a rebellious streak. As best friend to our happy-go-lucky fixer-upper (Riley Matthews), Maya is the impulsive, fun-loving firecracker in a purple cat nursery. Her patented pessimism and toughness disguises deep-seated scars. She is deeply loyal, deeply caring, deeply human. Surrounded by Riley's perfect nuclear family of caricatures, Maya is the sobering catharsis that anchors the sitcom.

More than anything, Maya Hart is deeply relatable.

Hi, I'm Maya. You're really cute. We should hang out sometime. You make me happy. You don't pay enough attention to me. This isn't working out. We can still be friends. Not really.

Stuff happened in some country, some team won a game, and it's cold somewhere with a chance of 'I don't care'. Am I all caught up?

I'm not gonna look back and regret the things I didn't do. I want to look back and regret the things I did do.

I'm fine believing that nothing much is going to happen for me. Otherwise, I'm full of hope. You hope for things, you get disappointed.

Maybe sometimes, I'm not so proud of who I am.

You had everything. Family meals around the table. I wanted that... You went to bed with a smile on your face every night, while I went to bed wondering if my father was going to be at the breakfast table in the morning. I wanted that!

If you got hurt, I don't know what I would have done.

As much as I wanted to throw a brick through a window, I know that if I did that, that's what would make me weak. I'm strong because there's something inside me that stops me now.

But maybe if you don't hope for too much, but let yourself hope for one thing, it might actually happen. Today was a real good day. I'm going to hope for one more and we'll see what comes.

Defeatist and tired. Hopeless and broken. Empathetic yet scared of caring. Detached yet desperate for attachment. Certain to be loyal and loyal to that which is certain. A person who grew to live. A person who is living to grow.

Riley is our titular Girl. Maya is our bitch-ular World.

Full Copyright of Cover Image: Courtesy of Girl Meets World (CC BY-SA)

For Part IV of The Sabrina Carpenter Slowburn, click here.