Singers Who Sound Insanely Hot

Now, this was originally for the "soundtrack of your year" vocal+ challenge in the Beat community.

But I finished it 30 minutes too late, so... fuck me, I guess.

Now you may be thinking: "Sam, what do any of these gorgeous sounding vocalists have to do with your year?"

Well, I'm a single dude now. Left a 15 year relationship last year, (and that departure was long overdue!)

SO this past year has been... Well, it's probably been the best year of my life.

And you're probably still asking, "Sam, what does any of that have to do with this particular playlist?"

You might even be concurrently asking: "Sam, can you please get to the fucking point already?"

Well, I guess my point is this: I've enjoyed these artists for as long as I've known about them, I'm an auditory person and I'm very drawn to great voices.

And yeah, I've always known the following voices were sexy as hell.

But, as a newly free man, I'm just a little more dialed into those vocal cues of attractiveness.

I'm not saying I'm obsessed with these singers.

(They're all I ever think about).

Nah, not obsessed.

But definitely impressed.

I admire the singers you're about to hear, I always have.

But now that my situation has changed, my appreciation has too.

It's like, I guess, as a newly single man the blinders are off. No, not blinders. My... earplugs are out?

Whatever I know that sounded idiotic.

Doesn't matter.

I also know super star vocalists probably don't consider me an eligible dating candidate.

Also doesn't matter.

A guy can dream, right?

And ya know what?

I have a little advice, if that's not too audacious.

I think we as a society focus a little too much on visual beauty. Nothing wrong with a beautiful face. But try to listen to these songs without watching the videos or looking at the singers.

Face card? Not today.

Voice card? HELL MOTHERFUCKIN YEAH

Not everyone is so auditory, but hey!

Let's try and give some credit where it's due... Some voices really are sexy as fuck.

And I'll tell you why I like each of these voices, but I'll lead with the songs themselves. Don't want my reviews to shift your opinions. Just listen to these auditory baddies and see if you start crushing on them the way I do.

So without any further delay:

SINGERS WHO SOUND INSANELY HOT:

Mary J Blige. The only really big name I've ever seen in concert. She was great, no surprises there.

Alright! About her voice:

One of the strongest, most soulful voices I've ever heard. Honestly so many of her songs give me chills! She's one of the greatest singers of all time, and her vocal qualities are so beautiful.

Some of her music is so emotionally clear that it can make me tear up.

The song I linked isn't a tear jerker for me, but it's a good example of the attractiveness of her voice, she kinda hums some of the melody, and it's just... Wow.

The instrumental accompaniment perfectly complements the mood and tone of her voice-- she sounds like a total smoke show, you know I'm right.

BRO.

I want her to find me. Holy fuck, for real she has one of the finest voices I've ever heard. This was actually the first song I ever heard from Ms. Lauryn Hill.

Back in college I heard her for the first time and I was totally smitten. I remember thinking... Damn, she is literally the archetype of "dream girl" voice.

Is she bad?

Yes.

So, unbelievably bad.

I was trying not to choose songs with explicitly sexual content-- I don't wanna taint your ears or whatever, by getting you too steamed up from the lyrics. But how could I not put this banger from Tiara Thomas on the list?

Try to ignore the lyrics for a minute and just listen to her tone.

Her voice is just dripping.

Raw.

She exudes a scorching sense of sex appeal... like, damn.

Dude. Eve.

She sounds soo unbelievably cool that you can't help but love (and fall in love with) her.

So good.

I wanna hear her 24/7.

And that wouldn't be enough.

It's kinda funny-- Gwen Stefani has an alrightish voice herself-- but I can barely hear her. On this track she's just kinda there because Eve took it all.

OKAY. ARI LENNOX.

BROS and SISTERS. You cannot possibly understand how huge a crush I have on Ari Lennox.

She is absolutely the perfect example of sexy female vocal tone. So smooth, like honey or butter or silk. Soft in a way, but not weak or needy.

So fluid, she sounds like water and soul.

She sounds feminine for sure, and confident.

She could be the worst person in the world and ugly as fuck and I would 100% wanna marry her and spend every night -- just because of her voice. JESUS

I'm mostly agnostic, but I become a firm (ahem) believer when I listen to her. She's perfection. GOOOOOOD GOD.

It's not just a crush man, I love her. I am in love with her. But since I don't know her I'll have to settle with just getting lost in her songs.

And ya know, all the other singers on this list-- as much as I really truly do love their voices-- I believe if I ever met any of these women randomly somewhere I could keep it together and not turn into a blubbering starstruck mess.

But I know I cannot ever, EVER, EVER meet Ari Lennox, because if I do I'm gonna drop to my knees right there and propose and she doesn't need the awkwardness or discomfort of a grown ass man begging like that.

Doechii. Doechii.

Holy shit, she sounds finer than fuck.

What can I say? Her breath control is so... masterful? flawless?

Her flow is hard to believe. So crisp.

And I think she's gotta one of the most expressive voices I've ever heard.

And for what it's worth.... for real, she sounds BETTER live than in her studio releases. Wow. Just wow. And wow again, because GOD DAMN.

Catfish is probably my favorite song right now. I'm listening to it non stop-- not just for the undeniable vocal attractiveness. But the whole arrangement is badass and fits every mood.

I usually just listen to punk and grunge but her stuff goes hard enough to scratch that itch.

She literally sounds too fine.

I especially like her speaking voice, but her singing voice is so sexy too-- you remember What It Is. I know you do, because how the hell could you not.

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You'll note a trend among all these voices-- they're hot as fuck.

I guess if I had to be specific about what makes them hot... Confidence, soul, range, depth... A smooth feminine sound without sounding girlish. Grown women sounding strong and powerful. FUUUUCK yeah man.

Good shit.

Thoughts? Anyone wanna try and disagree?

Probably not, because these women are all supermodels when it comes to their vocal cords.

You know I'm right.

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Well that's a wrap for now. My toddler just woke up and called my name so I'm done writing for tonight, gotta head upstairs and figure out what that's all about.

Part 2 sometime next week.

Edit: forgot to say… if you managed to listen to these songs without peeking at the absolute baddies who made them, then you ought to reward yourself by watching their videos too.

Now that your ears know what’s up, let your eyes take a lesson.

Because in addition to sounding like absolute goddesses, these women are stunningly gorgeous too.