Psyche Shaped by Song

The early 80's, life was tough growing up in West Philly. We lived alright but you had to be tough. We fought, played hard and were exposed to vile things at a tender age. Stripped down car sitting on bricks with interior destroyed, wicked crime of convenience or insurance fraud? Nonetheless twelve months later I was moved from my child hood home of concrete, skyscrapers, broken glass, blacktop and block parties to the rural Maryland countryside. It was quite the culture shock to me, moving from a predominately Black and Hispanic community to the woods where we had only one Black neighbor that lived three miles away. There were no more block parties or fire hydrants turned on and sprayed on a hot summer's day.

The music did however live on.

We watched cable TV in our spare time, the MTV era. We had always been exposed to rock but now it was visual, video! Unlike Philadelphia with it's many businesses, eateries and establishments; there were only three places within fifteen miles that kids could go to for fun. One was a mom and pop convenience store that had a few video games and offered homemade ice cream and burgers. Three miles away in a stand alone building was the town's pizzeria, they had a juke box and authentic New York Style Pizza. Located in the same so called plaza was the town's skate rink. They were the only two establishments but they complimented one another well. Skate Haven was the hottest spot in 1984 rural Fredrick, Maryland. All of the kids from the surrounding towns flocked there. This is where they all first jumped, saw there girls on film in their freeze frame, thought that Mickey was so fine, because girls just want to have fun and they weren't gonna take it! It was a magical time in music where the pop and heavy metal hits kept coming, there was big hair and cock pieces everywhere.

MTV allowed a generation to see the music for the first time but I couldn't see me. Unfortunately in the beginning there was no room for the artists of Color on MTV. Michael Jackson and Prince Nelson changed all of that. As the eighties matured we saw all types of music and bands in living color. We grew up on soul music, Motown, funk and jazz in the 1970's in Philadelphia. But then in the mid to late 70's we created a music of our own. It all started with two turntables and a MIC! Bronx kicked it off with a Cool West Indian Godfather by the name of Herc. DJ Kool Herc. This disc jockey didn't just play or spin the hits' he mixed them bringing forth a brand new sound. To him we are eternally grateful. This is the music that helped to save my young life some thirty-five years ago.

We, became no more in late 1984. I moved to Maryland with a step father, step brother and of course my mother but we were down to two in less than three years. The events of 1984 would change my life forever and lead me to an existence of forced independence and survival. A new drug hit the streets of America and my mother stumbled upon it by happenstance and bad company. A co-worker owed a debt to her and the young lady hadn't been to work in a few days. My mother stopped by to inquire about her money and her friend's well being. She learned what was keeping her friend from work, a new drug. This wasn't the drug Huey Lewis sang of, this was a killer that would destroy many lives as well as my childhood.

Loss came quick and often. House, new cars, career, apartment, used cars, part time job, we took steady steps backwards moving in town into affordable housing in the quaint mini city. Electricity, full fridge, gas, heat and water became luxuries instead of necessities, sometimes we had them, often times we didn't.

My milk came in an envelope rather than a carton. I had to add water to it and stir vigorously to get it to dissolve into a chalky watery liquid lacking any hint of flavor. If the water was working, it was another of those “luxuries” that I got to enjoy. Eventually lodging was lost and I did a bit of couch surfing during mother's short stints in jails and rehabs. At age twelve I joined the work force cleaning churches and schools for very little pay. The hand me down, over sized, sour smelling clothing washed in the sink and hung to dry didn't make adolescence enjoyable. Puberty was rough but life as the product of an addict and a convict sometimes made it unbearable. Who moves from Philly to Maryland and then gets hooked on drugs!

My father spent most of my childhood in prison and when he was free he was leaving another bastard in his wake. I saw myself in those people. I looked like him, there was a gap between my front two teeth like her. I was of them, what could I be but them? My young mind often slipped into depression but there were two things that saved my life, helping me to see value in myself, athletics and the music that I loved.

Football, basketball, baseball, my first season of every sport I was the worst! My second year in each sport, I was an All Star. The third year in every sport I was the best in the league and my self esteem soared. When I heard those crowds cheer my name I felt I had value and the endorphins gave me a feeling of elation. Sports was a high but my music gave me the ultimate boost to my psyche helping me to become the man and artist I am today. That Hip Hop music I grew up with in the streets of Philadelphia was growing and evolving as well. It wasn't just a party anymore, now the artist were saying something, something powerful. Of course we still partied and that is why 1987-1989 and three major Rap groups are still so very special to me. Moving to Maryland we had to tune into their music to ingratiate ourselves with our new neighbors. But then came a band disguised as a Rap group that united us all. Their music wasn't our music or their music, it was everyone's music.

The Beastie Boys took the world by storm in 1987 with an album titled “License to Ill”. They toured with the top charting Run DMC who were expanding the Hip Hop audience with their hard rhymes and sharp guitar riffs. They remixed a classic Aerosmith song featuring the aging rock stars. The song was monumental now here they were touring with a White Rap group out of Manhattan and Brooklyn that was the toast of the music industry. All kids of every race and nationality loved the Beastie Boys. Black kids loved them because they could rhyme. It wasn't just a gimmick, they were B-Boys and lovers of Hip Hop. White kids loved them because they finally saw someone who looked liked them doing something so cool! All other kids loved them because everything they did was dope. Punk, Rock, Funk, but mostly hard core Hip Hop beats were offered on this album. Def Jam producer Rick Rubin put his stink on it like he did with other classic Def Jam artist like Run DMC, LL Cool J, and Public Enemy. The man is a genius. The Beastie Boys made my foreign music and culture mainstream in this foreign place called Maryland. They had the suburban kids “Fight for their Right to Party”, Latino kids riding in their “Slow Ride” while the Hip Hop heads like myself got into the “New Style” with “Paul Revere”. We were all Licensed to Ill. Later in my twenties and thirties I would enjoy the many genres of music the Beastie Boys played. They had Punk hits, Rock hits, thousands of Rap hits and awesome soulful instrumentals. The three of them could DJ, play multiple instruments, rap, sing and produce. They were they ultimate super bad. The bad became activist using their music to right injustices around the world. Awesome musicians with huge hearts. Rest in Peace MCA AKA Adam Nathaniel Yauch! You are missed dearly by millions.

Def Jam's Creator Russel Simmons was always in search of new talent and acts. His brother was the front man for the now legendary Run DMC but the sound of HIP HOP was changing. The subject matter changed, these new rappers didn't just make me dance, they were educating me. Long Island bred a new batch of MCs that advanced rap styles light years. There were the precise crisp verses of Rakim, the party going crowd rocking Biz Markie, the smooth slow flow of EPMD backed up with heavy funk beats.

Eventually the music evolved further as Dela Soul hit the scene expanding what we believed Hip Hop to be, Hip Hop Hippies? Long Island wasn't done, by the early 1990's it was offering us The Leaders of the New School featuring an animated MC by the Name of Busta Rhymes that would make music history in a career spanning over four decades. The greatest of the music to come out of Long Island during this era came from a group with a powerful message named Public Enemy. Their 1987 debut “Yo Bum Rush the Show” was just a small taste of what was to come. “It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back” in 1988 blew my mind to bits. Their drumbeat was the beat of my heart. After growing up in so much misery and shame, the lyrics of Chuck D made me proud to be who and what I am. They spoke of my plight and offered solutions to the iniquities in my life. They wouldn't stand for me hating myself any longer. That meaningful music lifted my head to the sky and kept it up no matter how dark the day. I saw my strength in those hardcore rhymes and beats; they were now shaping me more than my parents' poor decisions and sins against me. Flavor Flav was a court jester of sorts pairing levity with Chuck D's Powerful Pro Black message. Terminator X only spoke with his hands but he needed not much more. Cuts and scratches made his message clear. They even marched on stage with their own small army led by Professor Griff. The Security of the 1st World or S1Ws marched to the beat of PE's drums. Born into a world that always told me I was inferior, showing only negative examples of myself, now I had a new voice of encouragement in my ear. They spoke of Marcus Garvey, Steven Biko, Nelson Mandela, Malcom X, Kwame Ture and many other courageous Black Man, leaders that I had little knowledge of. Their music caused me to read books on each of these men and many others to educate myself on the contribution, condition and history of my people in this world.

Then there was the history of my ancestors taught to me in very basic and unflattering terms. Apparently the African American was a slave, Lincoln freed him and then there was Martin Luther King. If it were an advanced history lesson they might mention Harriet Tubman, Fredrick Douglas or even George Washington Carver!

According to my history classes my people offered no more contribution to American History other than that. Again my existence and that of my forefathers was devalued. There was an MC that taught me different, educating me through song. The Teacher he has been called by many but I first knew him as The Blast Master KRS One.

He came into the music industry as a battle rapper who toppled an empire. Mr. Magic, Marley Marl and Fly Ty, they had a radio program Mr. Magic Rap Attack, the Juice Crew and the record label Cold Chillin. The Juice Crew was based in Queens Bridge and featured over a dozen of talented Djs and MCs. KRS One was living in a group home writing poetry and battling MCs. He and his partner Dj. Scott La Rock looked to Mr. Magic for an opportunity to get down and were treated very disrespectfully. Shortly after that MC. Shan and Marley Marl of the Juice Crew released the classic Hip Hop anthem “Queens Bridge”. There was a line in the song that could be misconstrued, leaving the listener believing that Hip Hop started out in Queens Bridge. Everyone knew Hip Hop started in the Bronx, KRS One's burrow. He saw his opportunity and and he pounced on it releasing a classic of his own “South Bronx”. The battle was on! MC Shan came back with “Kill That Noise”. Little did he know he was stepping into a trap set by a master. KRS had already written “The Bridge is Over” after being disrespected by the Juice Crew months earlier. The song dissed several members of their organization utilizing rap lyrics as well as reggae chatting; it was incredible! A legend was born and Boogie Down Productions debut album “Criminal Minded” is regarded as one of the best rap albums of all time. On the album cover they held guns and ammo as if they were ready for war but there was much more to their message. D Nice of BDP had a beef, Scott was there to help, as they drove away, shots rang out.

Dj Scott La Rock's death had a huge affect on Kris Parker, he not only grieved for his fallen brother but humanity as a whole. His music became an uplifting information source determined to increase the peace in Hip Hop. He created the Stop the Violence Movement and produced the song “Self Destruction” featuring an all star cast of MCs including Public Enemy. Boogie Down Productions second album was still hard but gave you so much more to think about, “By All Means Necessary” is still one of my favorites. Knowledge Reigns Supreme Over Everyone focused more on lessons to be taught through his music. Kids like me grew up in and with his music at a very pivotal time in our lives. My nomadic teen years left me always losing, my possessions but I never lost a BDP Tape.

At age fourteen I made a plan of escape from the burden of my parents' vices. The summer before I visited my Grandmother in Florida and then had to stay when they couldn't locate my mother. I enrolled in school and practiced with the football team. It broke my heart when I couldn't play because they couldn't get my school records. The tough kid cried, they took away the most important thing in my life. Two weeks later my mother was located and my grandmother's evil husband was quick to send me back to my hell.

I played basketball on the ninth grade team leading the team in scoring, rebounding and assists. At the end of the season I was moved up to junior varsity and then varsity. That summer I was invited to play on an U16 AAU team. We played games around Maryland and then there was a trip to Florida in August. That summer I worked at a car dealership washing cars to save up money to buy gear and basketball shoes. The only shoes I owned were my team basketball shoes. They were my game shoes, school shoes and work shoes. I hid my money on my building roof until I departed.

KRS taught me my greatness in his history lessons within songs like “Why is That?” and “You Must Learn”. I didn't know that the people in the Bible were people of Color. KRS walked me through Genesis and it's rich history over beats. Africa is the Mother of Civilization not just the home of the slave. Kings and Queens for centuries ruled over those lands and we are their decedents. The stories of their greatness I could identify with proudly. I learned of all the great African American Inventors, Businessmen and leaders from the voice of KRS. Who would have thought there was a Black woman named Madam C.J. Walker who was an entrepreneur, philanthropist, political and social activist in the late 1800's through the early 1900's. She was also the first self made female millionaire in American History. School didn't teach me about that, BDP did. Many more heroes was I introduced to from The Teacher. This new pride and knowledge inspired me to seek a better life in Florida.

So my school records I gathered, caught the bus to the Francis Scott Key Mall and purchased everything I needed to look and feel good on my trip. A month later I would become a resident of the Sunshine State after refusing to return with the team and walking the sandy Florida streets until I found my grandmother's residence. I would practice again with that High School Football Team with my three favorite groups playing in my head. I would graduate three years later as the team's Most Valuable Player. The Beastie Boys, Public Enemy, KRS One of Boogie Down Productions would go on to make music for many years to come. KRS dropped a mix tape this year at age 55, still teaching. I thank you all gentlemen for helping to shape my psyche through your song. There is a whole Generation X that owes you a debt of gratitude.