Playlists Are My Love Language

If there's one thing I excel at, it's curating playlists that slap harder than my grandmother when I used to misbehave. Yes, music is my therapy, my chaos, and sometimes, my delusion. The real artistry, though? The playlist names. Allow me to give you a tour through my chaotic and highly emotional digital jukebox:

1. Fake Boyfriend, Real Tears

This is where I come to cry about the heartbreaks that never actually happened. Oh, he smiled at me once? That’s a relationship in my book. Every song here feels like walking through an imaginary breakup I’ve invented because my life needed more drama. And yes, I absolutely rewind songs to make the pain more unbearable. It’s a little toxic, but hey, we all need hobbies.

2. Old African Songs That Hit Harder Than My Grandmother

These are the songs that, without fail, make my mom pause whatever she’s doing to tell me—for the hundredth time—how she met my dad. (Spoiler alert: the story hasn’t changed, but I let her tell it because the nostalgia in her eyes is worth it.) These tracks carry so much history and soul. The melodies are so rich, they somehow turn every Sunday afternoon into a full-blown history lesson.

3. Delulu Thoughts About My Crush

Welcome to my most played playlist. This is the one I queue up when I’m imagining him confessing his love to me under the stars. Do I have the emotional range to pretend we’re in a K-drama when we’ve only exchanged one “hi”? Absolutely. This playlist is soundtracked by every over-the-top love ballad that makes me stare out the window like I’m in a slow-motion montage.

4. Lingerie + Coat + Heels

No, I’ve never actually worn lingerie, a coat, and heels at the same time.

But listen, I know I’m not the only one who dreams of pulling up to my spouse’s place in nothing but lingerie, a coat, and heels like I’m in some steamy romance movie. Right? This playlist is the soundtrack to that fantasy—the ultimate sexy, baby-making music. From slow jams to sultry R&B, it’s got all the vibes to make you feel like the main character. In reality, I’d probably trip over my own heels and ruin the moment, but at least the music would be fire.

5. When All I Cared About Was Justin Bieber and Mindless Behavior

Ah, A tribute to my preteen years,the good old days, when my biggest worry was whether Justin Bieber would notice me through the screen or if Mindless Behavior would ever tour in my city. Life was so much easier then. No bills, no responsibilities—just endless hours of singing “Baby” at the top of my lungs and practicing my “Mrs. Bieber” signature in notebooks. Back then, heartbreak was finding out Princeton had a girlfriend, not real-world nonsense like taxes or trying to find Wi-Fi that actually works. Simpler times.Cringe, yes, but also simple.

6. Imaginary Thick Ass

This is the playlist that helps me live my curviest fantasies. In real life? My ass is so flat that if someone slapped it, it would probably slap back out of pure defiance. But when I press play on this, I *am* the thickest, baddest version of myself. Megan Thee Stallion, Doja Cat, and Nicki Minaj all join forces to make me believe I’ve got enough bounce to cause a minor earthquake. Reality might not agree, but this playlist is about *delusion,* and I’m living for it

7. When Music Had Soul

This is my *I hate what music has become* playlist. I don’t know why, but it feels like people loved so much deeper in the old days. Like they actually *felt* their emotions instead of just texting “lol” when their heart was breaking. This playlist is full of songs that could move mountains with just a single note—raw, passionate, and so soulful it makes today’s music feel like elevator noise. It’s like every lyric was written with someone crying at 2 a.m. under a full moon. I listen to this and wonder if I was born in the wrong era because, honestly, where’s the soul now?

You won’t find TikTok trends here—just soul, passion, and vocals that make you feel alive. Play it while drinking wine and complaining about “kids these days,” even if you’re only 24 and still use TikTok way too much.

8. Unhinged Psychotic Side

This one is for the chaos. It’s the soundtrack to my villain era, perfect for plotting imaginary revenge or power-walking like I own the city. The vibes? Completely unhinged. The energy? A 13/10. It’s the playlist that screams, *don’t mess with me unless you want to cry.*

9. Rap Royalty Only

This is my shrine to the greats—Biggie, Nas, Jay-Z, Kendrick, J-Hope, Agust D, and more. When I need bars that make me pause and say, *“Wait, run that back”*—this is it. It’s the playlist I’d fight anyone over if they tried to skip a song. Respect the royalty!

10. Songs to Scream To in the Car

This is the ultimate road trip playlist. Windows down, volume up, and absolutely no shame as I scream-sing every single word. These songs are designed for dramatic highway moments, where I imagine I’m in a music video, wind in my hair (or at least the A/C on full blast). Whether I’m driving to the grocery store or across the country, this playlist turns every trip into an epic adventure. Just don’t ask me to stay on key—I’m here for the vibes, not the vocals.

11. Screaming in Korean

This one’s for my K-pop obsessions. Do I understand Korean? Not a single word. Do I scream along like I do? Every time. It’s a language of emotion, okay? And nobody cries in Korean like me.

It’s all high vocals, dramatic hair flips, and imaginary heart eyes as I belt out every word like I actually know Korean. The energy is unmatched—one minute I’m hitting high notes like Taehyung, the next I’m rapping along to Namjoon like I’m auditioning for BTS. It’s not just a playlist; it’s a full-body experience.

Conclusion:

So, there you have it—my playlists are a rollercoaster of emotions, delusions, and vibes. They’re a reflection of my personality: chaotic, dramatic, and very, very relatable. If music is life, then my playlists are the wildest plot twists in my story. What are *your* playlist names? Because if they’re even half as ridiculous as mine, we might just be soulmates.