No More Drama

She emerged from the shadows onto the stage dressed in a gold lame pantsuit and snakeskin boots. The familiar soap opera dirge famous for being the theme song of the Young and the Restless began to play, and we all knew what was about to happen. Mary J. Blige was performing on the Grammy stage. I was a little apprehensive because No More Drama was one of my favorite songs that year, but in my experience, singers like Mary J tended to hold back in the glare of television lights, and I desperately wanted her to SANG that song!

She was beautiful and flawless in her performance, very perfunctory, right up until the 1:38 mark. She belted out, " I don't know, only God knows where the story ends for me, but I know where the story begins." At the 2:00 mark, she pointed her finger at the camera and shouted, "No More!" By the time she was 2:49 seconds into the song, she had balled up her fists and an almost primal scream erupted from her gut. By 2:52, she was stuttering and stomping across the stage, shaking her head, her eyes closed. I was on my feet at this point with my arms raised to the heavens, tears streaming down my face. "YESSS!" I shouted, and I felt something break inside of me. 3:11 seconds into the performance, she looked into the camera and raised a peace sign as she crooned "No more, no more. No more, no more." I agreed with her. "No more." I said.

No More Drama became the theme song of my life that night. I played it nearly every day for the next decade or so. Years of feeling unwanted and inconsequential rolled off of my back like the tears streaming down my face that night. I had always felt like an outcast and spent so much energy trying to be accepted by people who simply didn't want me around. "It's up to us to choose whether we win or lose, and I chose to win," Mary sang. I agreed. I never wasted another second of my life after that day trying to fit in. I set out to forge my path in life, and if people didn't like it, they could kick rocks. I still love the song and play it from time to time. But, I will never forget that night in 1994 when my hero took to the Grammy stage and sang her heart out. It was the night that changed my life.