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Natalie Portman Raps Uncensored

This is just mind blowing

By Steven ValenzuelaPublished 5 years ago 4 min read

When it was announced that Natalie Portman would be hosting Saturday Night Live again for the first time since V for Vendetta came out, everybody wanted to know just one thing. Would she do another rap? Ten years ago her rapping skills blew everyone away and became a classic SNL sketch — especially since nobody expected it from tiny, poised Portman. But she did not disappoint on Saturday and Natalie Portman's rap skit on SNL will give you life (again).

I remember the very first time I hear the song. I could not believe what i was hearing

When Portman first hosted the show back in 2006, she surprised everybody with her loud, angry rap. The sketch started as if it was just an interview with the accomplished actress. When asked what her daily life was like, Portman responded, "Do you really wanna know?" and then the most glorious rap sketch ever created burst forth. Suddenly Portman was not the sweetly lovable and quiet woman we'd come to expect her to be. She was an excellent rapper and a little scary. It was pretty glorious, to be honest. So as the host of Saturday Night Live once again, it was all but guaranteed she was going to bless the audience once again with her superior rapping skills. Seriously, give this woman a record deal.

“Natalie Raps” begins as an interview between Portman and cast member Chris Parnell. It quickly devolves into an insane rap video, shot in black and white — and OH MY GOD is sure showed the actress in a new light and you didnt see her as the good clean wholesome person she is . In “Natalie Raps,” she screams out violent rhymes, portraying herself as an academic and sexual terror certified badass. The sketch was bizarre, amazing, unexpected, and incredible. Also, it shows a young Andy Samberg dressed as a Viking not sure why but if fit in just like a glove

All things considered, the best part of “Natalie Raps” has to be its totally brutal surprise factor.

Back in 2006, though, she jokingly chafed against her “good girl” image on SNL. The Harvard grad rapped angrily about making trouble in college and threatened guys who pissed her off

Natalie Portman’s performance in “Natalie Raps” is so good, it even made it onto The Lonely Island’s 2009 musical-comedy album Incredibad. So sit back and enjoy this classic video amazed its already 12 years old

“Natalie’s Rap” was the second viral video that the Lonely Island produced, following “Lazy Sunday.” Looking at those videos in terms of production values versus what SNL regularly produces is nothing short of shocking. That has nothing to do with the comedic value of those first two amazing smashes, and everything to do with reconfiguration of what a pretaped sketch can now do in the world of SNL. The show had never relied on non-live material since its inception, but “Lazy Sunday” and “Natalie’s Rap” started a new epoch in the show’s history Kudos to Lonely Island

NATALIE RAPS LYRICS

[Intro: Natalie Portman & Chris Parnell]

(Interviewer Chris Parnell ) We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman

(Natalie Portman ) Hello

(Interviewer Chris Parnell ) So Natalie, tell us what a day in the life of Natalie Portman is like?

(Natalie Portman ) Do you really want to know?

(Interviewer Chris Parnell ) Please, tell us

[Verse 1: Natalie Portman, The Lonely Island, Seth Meyers]

I don't sleep, motherfucker; off that 'gnac and the durban

Doin' 120, gettin' head while I'm swervin'

Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick

Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick!

I bust in dudes' mouths like Gushers motherfucker

Roll up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker

What you want Natalie? To drink and fight!

What you need Natalie? To fuck all night!

Don't test me when I'm crazy off that airplane glue

Put my foot down your throat 'til your shit's in my shoe

Leave you screamin', pay for my dry-cleanin'

Fuck your man, it's my name that he's screamin'!

[Interlude: Natalie Portman & Chris Parnell]

(Interviewer Chris Parnell ) I'm sorry Natalie, are we to believe that you condone driving while intoxicated?

(Natalie Portman ) I never said that I was a role model

(Interviewer Chris Parnell ) But, what about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them?

[Verse 2: Natalie Portman & The Lonely Island]

All the kids looking up to me can suck my dick

It's Portman, motherfucker, drink 'til I'm sick

Slit your throat and pour nitrous down the hole

Watch you laugh and cry; while I laugh, you die

And all the dudes, you know I'm talkin' to you

We love you Natalie! I wanna fuck you too!

P! Is for Portman! P! It's for pussy!

I'll kill your fuckin' dog for fun, so don't push me!

[Interlude: Natalie Portman & Chris Parnell]

(Interviewer Chris Parnell ) Well Natalie, I'm surprised, all this coming from a Harvard graduate?

(Natalie Portman ) Well, there's a lot you may not know about me

(Interviewer Chris Parnell ) Really, such as?

[Verse 3: Natalie Portman]

When I was in Harvard I smoked weed everyday

I cheated every test and snorted all the yay

I got a def posse, you got a bunch of dudes

I'll sit right down on your face and take a shit!

[Bridge: Andy Samberg & Natalie Portman]

Natalie, you are a badass bitch (Hell yeah!)

And I'll always pay for your dry-cleaning

When my shit gets in your shoe (What!)

And as for the drug use, well I can vouch for that

My dick is scared of you, girl

[Interlude: Natalie Portman & Chris Parnell]

(Interviewer Chris Parnell ) Okey-doke

Natalie, one final question

If you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood who would it- [chair slam]

(Natalie Portman ) No more questions

[Outro: Natalie Portman]

What!

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