Musical Digest: Sam Lex "Sorry"

There are a few words in our lifetime that are hard to say out loud.

For some, it may be i love you because of the fear of not being loved back, rejected or ridiculed.

For others, it may be i need help because they may have been brought up to never rely on anyone or were constantly disappointed.

Then there's something heavier. The infamous i'm sorry because it might mean that to apologize means to admit to fault or wrongdoing. It's basically defeat, right?

I'm here to tell you that it isn't.

All of these phrases mentioned above signify anything but defeat, failure, wrongdoing, or rejection. These are pillars of strength. These are the fundamentals of growth.

I'd imagine that for men it's even harder to say these things out loud because of the gender roles society subscribed us to. Let's unsubscribe from it and learn to be more in tune with our emotions.

This next song I'd like to digest was written by Orlando native, Samuel Alexander, or better known as Sam Lex.

Sam's knack for music was discovered at a really young age where he picked up his first acoustic guitar and started jammin'. His dad bought him his first fender and the rest was history. His influences stemmed from Linkin Park to Wiz Khalifa, but eventually the musical alias Sam Lex was conjured.

"Sorry" took a year in the making. Sam recorded it in Orlando and wrote this ballad in reflection to his past relationship.

We've all been there. I sat down with the culprit of the track and wanted to get the intrinsic point of view. He said:

"The whole concept was in reflection of a relationship. Saying sorry for the things you've never said. (...) It's looking in retrospect to a relationship that you're in. (...) I could have did this or should have said that because now I realized what really mattered. A lot of the songs that seem like they're about someone are actually about my inner conflict and what goes on in my head."

That said, let's dive into the depths of Sam's mind.

I don’t get what they say about love

Because I don’t know a thing about it

I’ve heard stories how it gets so tough

I wonder why they would stay around it

Stop wasting your time,

Should be your life,

While you're young is what they told me..

I had you by my side, didn’t know I was blind,

On the day that you told me.

Love is a beautifully complicated emotion and I don't think we truly understand what that really is until someone else brings meaning to it.

One day, we've achieved this picturesque lovestory in the form of a montage featuring a cotton-candy sky, kisses on the beach accompanied by the rhythm of two hearts beating in unison.

In that moment, we don't realize we've taken it for granted.

I know, I can almost hear my literature professor telling me to stop being so transparently cliche, but it's true. This verse is a realization in lieu of how our naive hearts can function sometimes. We acknowledge that we're feeling something. There's an emotion that latches on to what we're feeling in the moment, but we can't put our finger on what it is.

It can't be love, right? We're too young for that...or so they say.

So what is this feeling post-partum? Why have I gone from the highest high to the lowest lows? Are melancholy and bliss destined lovers too? The next verse relates...

Didn’t even want to think about it,

Make things so complicated.

But now I can’t sleep without you,

Up late in the club so faded.

If I had the words to say to you

I’d tell you that’s my bad.

Wish I could tell you this in person

But instead..

Girl I’m sorry!

For the things I never said.

It didn’t seem that important,

But now I realize what it really meant

Those 3 words I wish I could say to you

But now your in someone else’s bed.

So for now I guess that I’ll tell you in my head...

I’m sorry!!!

Regret. It's melancholic's most ruthless companion.

I'm personifying these emotions because I think actualizing them can serve for better closure.

Once again, if we take a look at this verse through a retrospective lens, a narrative of memories is being drawn up and each one is different all leading up to the same conclusion. We've all loved so hard. We've lost. We used to wake up to someone in our bed every morning and now their spot is desolate...

So while it's late, there's still a need to apologize and here's why it's beautiful...

See I’ve learned a thing or 2 about love,

I figured out it could really hurt you.

Like a drug you can never get enough,

It make you wonder what you’re really worth to

It’s everything on your mind

You’ll spend all of your time

On someone that doesn’t even deserve you.

While their telling you lies,

It’s like you become Blind

You’ll believe it so it doesn’t hurt you!!!

For the things I never said..

We achieve closure. The person that we've hurt or that has hurt us doesn't need to hear those words verbatim because we're all dealt the same lesson in the end.

At the beginning of the song, Sam felt that he was blind and that blindness opened him up to a brighter introspection. We invest time, we lie to ourselves, we contradict our own predispositions which makes us blind to the real emotion.

It's a real life adaptation of Plato's The Allegory of the Cave sans the death part...but the rather more alluding to the clincher which is that love sets us free. We shouldn't be blinded it to it. We should be more receptive towards love...just as the prisoners should have been more receptive to a new reality.

The last verse I chose to be the closing statement of this digest:

It didn’t seem that important

But now I realize what it really meant

And I know how much this meant ..

I missed my chance at your heart

And now you're a feeling I gotta forget..

At least I told you

I’m sorry!!

For not being ready for what you said..

I guess you live and learn

Now it’s too late to ever go back...

Acceptance. Just like the prisoner in Plato's theory, he's seen the light. While the new reality was very short lived, he's been exposed to it. No one can ever invalidate it. All you have to do is experience it for yourself.

Tune in to this apologetic ballad below to decipher for yourself.