just because you can, doesn't mean you should

Music has always played an integral part in my life

Whether it’s blasting some stupid little bubblegum pop song to feel happy when I was younger, to listening to songs my mom wrote being sung in church.

I am a very emotional person when it comes to music, and it’s because it’s a part of my DNA. Some chords trigger tears immediately, but more often than not, music is the soundtrack to my life, specifically whatever phase it is that I'm in.

I turn to music in times when I find it hard to articulate who I am.

I turn to music to give me confidence.

I turn to music to guide me, or release me, for 3-5 minutes of my life.

Growing up, my mom was the music minister at my church.

Singing hymns or songs she wrote at the piano in my living room was normal. On vacations, my sisters, my mom, and I would sing a cappella music, arranging it ourselves and for the most part, singing it for ourselves.

We recorded a couple “albums” - and I use that term loosely - the purpose was to have records of when we sang together.

One year, we did a “Christmas album” and gave it away to friends and family in place of a Christmas card.

I took piano lessons for a while, but found that I could learn, relate, and feel better learning by ear. I wrote a few original songs, that unfortunately, I cannot remember to this day. My sisters and I recorded a local Oktoberfest Jingle for a commercial, and I did a theme song for a non-profit organization.

My oldest sister tabled her talent and reserved it for when we are together as a family, whereas the sister in the middle took her enormous talent and ran with it: She started an a cappella group in college, went on to arrange, produce, and record many musicals, plays, and was hired consistently for gigs such as weddings or other church events.

I, attempting to keep up, tried my hand at a few garage bands, and my biggest claim to fame was being one of two jazz vocalists every year in high school. My *slight* obsession with Britney spears gave me false hope that I’d be able to make it like her - I was a dancer and a decent singer. "I could be molded," I'd say to myself.

When I got into college, I was in an a cappella group and had a few solos, and joined a cover band a few years out of college. Taking it on as a fun hobby that could potentially pay, we went strong for about a year and a half - had some private party gigs, and even played at an NFL game.

Then, it crept up on me again: I don’t care about singing. I really don’t.

I’m not better than anyone I’ve met, and I’m sure as hell not good enough to invest the bulk of my time and energy into creating a life out of it.

This was one of those growing up moments where you take stock of what you’re doing, and what makes you happy.

I won’t lie- I will still go home and put on some Mariah or Jessie J song on youtube karaoke and belt my heart out once in a while, but for the most part, I like to leave the music-making to those who are in it wholeheartedly and can commit to it.

I'm not entirely sure what the lesson learned here is from all of that. Perhaps it's to follow what sets you on fire, and not just things you have a talent for.

Reminds me of old 80s and 90s movies where the parents are forcing their child into an activity for some egoist reason("But you LOVE basketball, Jimmy!").

My parents were not like that, whatsoever, but I think the telling of this thought process is to assure you that even though there is something you excel at or may have a knack for, or advanced skill level in, it doesn't mean that is your exclusive "thing." Sure, you may have been born with a natural talent, and you should use it if it continues to resonate with you. What I'm saying is: believe enough in yourself that you can build and grow any talent, any passion to fuel your purpose.

There have been times that friends or acquaintances lose their job, and when asked what they're looking for, list the previous position they held.

This frustrates me because having a one-track mind on your skills and potential does nothing good. Sure, have a dream, have a goal, and continue to strive for it, but keep an open mind. I know you were comfortable in that last job, but change is now. And if you don't consider the subcategories of opportunities available to you, you won't even be able to support following your goals anymore.