I’m Not Who I Post to Be

I’m Not Who I Post to Be

I’ve learned how to look perfect—even when I feel like I’m falling apart.

I know my angles. I know which side of my face looks better on camera. I know how to fake a laugh that looks natural. I’ve practiced smiling in the mirror just to get it right for pictures.

People scroll past my posts and think I’m living my best life.

They leave comments like:

• “You’re glowing!”
• “You always look so happy.”
• “I wish I had your confidence.”

But they’re not talking to the real me.

They’re talking to the version I’ve created—the one I carefully post.

The Truth Behind My Feed

Here’s what you don’t see:

• You don’t see the nights I cry myself to sleep for no clear reason.
• You don’t see me curled up in bed, unable to move because anxiety has me frozen.
• You don’t see the days when I delete photos over and over because none of them feel “good enough.”

When I disappear from social media, it’s not because I’m busy.

It’s because I’m broken.

But when I come back, I post something calm and beautiful.

A photo with good lighting. A deep-sounding caption like:

“Taking life one breath at a time. 🌙”

You tap “like.” Maybe you comment, “Stay strong 💕.”

And I smile. But not because I’m okay.

I smile because I fooled you again.

How I Lost Myself Online

At first, social media was fun.

I posted silly pictures with friends, food I loved, and real moments from my life.

But then people started liking the more polished version of me.

The filtered selfies. The thoughtful quotes. The matching color schemes.

So I kept giving them what they wanted.

More likes meant more approval. More approval meant I was “doing it right.”

The more they liked the edited version of me, the more I hid the real one.

And now, I’m scared people wouldn’t like the real me anymore…

Because I don’t even know if I do.

A Photo Everyone Loved—And the Pain They Didn’t See

One of my most popular pictures was me on a rooftop, laughing.

It got hundreds of likes.

People shared it and said things like:

“You look so free!”

“I wish I could be like you.”

But here’s the truth about that photo:

Before it was taken, I was in the bathroom having a panic attack.

I couldn’t breathe. My heart was racing.

I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw.

I wiped away the mascara, took a few deep breaths, and forced a smile.

Then I stepped outside, laughed for the camera, and let the shutter click.

That moment went viral.

But it wasn’t real.

Maybe You’ve Felt This Too

Maybe you’ve posted a happy photo on a day when you felt empty.

Maybe you’ve written a quote about healing while still feeling broken.

Maybe you’ve tried to convince others—and yourself—that you’re okay, even when you’re not.

If that’s true, you’re not alone.

I’ve done it too.

So many of us have.

And no, that doesn’t make us liars.

It makes us human.

We want to be seen.

But we’re scared to show the parts that hurt.

I Want to Be Real Now

Today, I don’t want to hide behind edits or perfect captions.

I want to say this honestly, with no filter:

• I’m tired.
• I’m anxious.
• I’m healing.
• I’m not perfect.
• I’m trying.

I want to be someone I don’t need to crop or filter to love.

Maybe the real me won’t get as many likes.

Maybe fewer people will call her “goals.”

But maybe—just maybe—she’ll finally feel seen.

And maybe she’ll finally feel free.

A Message to You

If you’ve ever felt like you had to fake it online...

If you’ve ever looked at your own feed and felt like a stranger...

If you’ve ever been praised for a version of you that didn’t feel real…

I hope you know:

You’re allowed to be real.

You’re allowed to be messy.

You don’t have to be perfect to be loved.

I’m not who I post to be.

But I’m learning to become someone I can actually live with.

And I hope you’ll try, too.

It's not my story

but some people are just

like it which tell in story.