Break down through

Run, my friend

Run from what hasn’t begun, my friend,

Run from what isn’t to be

If it is just up to me

How odd, my friend,

When there’s bleeding and yet there’s no blood, my friend

There’s a leaving, a draining, a hurt

Beyond possible words

And I’ve seen an end, my friend

In a place where I couldn’t pretend, my friend

To know of that comforting source

Which may carry the worst

So please teach me, my friend

As a friend, as a lover, I have one request

And it’s time to decipher the signs

That break up my mind and my heart and my soul

And stay, instead

Stay through the pain and decay, instead

Reconstructed by souls finally born

From what has been outworn

I do have trust, my friend

But I fear that it might not be enough, my friend

To stay through my own sacrifice

Using only these old eyes

So please lend me your eyes, my friend

Eyes that have seen beyond the skies, my friend

Eyes that saw circles to the end

And then see them start again

Oh how I long, my friend

For the day that I may feel reborn, my friend

When the dead and the dying may sleep

And all the circles complete

Until then run, my friend

Understand that it will have begun, my friend

And it will shed the skin and the tears

Of those many long years

I have trust, my friend

You will do what you think that you must, my friend

And you’ll teach me whatever you’ll choose

It sure will be of use

And we’ll meet again

And be calling us many more names ‘till then

And be chipping away at our fears

To find we’re still here

Even after those years

Backstory of this song

I wrote this a few years ago when I felt the relationship with my then girlfriend was deteriorating. I tried to tell her we need a change, but we didn't really find common ground in what each of us was saying, or what we needed from each other. So in desperation, I wrote this song, and played it to her.

Well, I still believe it's a beautiful song in many ways, but a few years later, I can tell why she might not have understood. It's about so many things at once that it's hard to figure out what I meant.

In a way this relationship was doomed regardless I guess. Interestingly enough though, the song expanded its meaning far beyond that single relationship. It's interesting how one can experience something concrete and wants to communicate this unique experience very clearly, but then finds himself writing about universal things, like overcoming, death, change, hope, steadiness, spirituality and how to attain and deepen it.

For some reason this never became an actual song I played with my band, since my current girlfriend doesn't like it. She says that there are alternatives to going through pain to open yourself up to deeper truths. Well, perhaps she is right about that. But to start with, I think it's quite profound to understand that each supposedly "bad" experience holds the key to growth - personal, interpersonal, but also spiritual.

I like many parts of the songs a lot, for example the "please lend me your eyes" part, but my favourite one must be the last two verses. It's about how whatever happens, we will learn from it, if we dare look at the experience closely instead of fleeing from the pain like we usually do. And then, in a way, we'll meet again, under new names, "chipping" away at our fears, until nothing remains -

but bliss.