Awkward Valentines Day Songs

It's almost Valentine's Day, and it's time to list the songs not to use when trying to serenade the recipient of your love and affection on this magnificent day.

1. Take it on the Run by REO Speedwagon

Heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who

Heard it from another you been messin' around

They say you got a boyfriend, you're out late every weekend

They're talkin' about you and it's bringin' me down

(One of those songs that starts badly and just gets worse)

2. What's Love Got to Do With It by Tina Turner

Oh what's love got to do with it

What's love but a second-hand emotion

What's love got to do with it

Who needs a heart

When a heart can be broken

(Love is a choice we make, not an emotion, and Tina just doesn't get it)

3. You're The Reason our Kids are so Ugly by Loretta Lyn & Conway Twitty

Loretta - And that's the reason my good looks, and my figure is gone

Conway - And that's the reason that I ain't got no hair to comb

Both - And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'

(The title says it all, but the song is basically an argument. Very funny)

4. My Best Friends Girl by The Cars

'Cause she's my best friends girl

O she's my best friends girl, girl ah oh

She used to be mine

(It sounds fun as a song, but the lyrics are a lament)

5. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking for by U2

I have run

I have crawled

I have scaled these city walls

These city walls

Only to be with you

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

(An odd song of heroic effort and a lack of satisfaction)

6. If You Don't Believe I Love You, Just Ask My Wife by Gary P Nunn

Yes I leave her home alone

While you and I carry on

If you Don't Believe I Love You, Just Ask My Wife....

(A humdinger of a country song, with a classic theme. Except this time the singer isn't lamenting his losses, he's trying to help his mistress understand his love for her. Classic)

7. You Can't Always Get What You Want by The Rolling Stones

She was practised at the art of deception

Well I could tell by her blood-stained hands

You can't always get what you want

You can't always get what you want

You can't always get what you want

(One of those songs I think most people have never actually read the lyrics of or understood them)

8. You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith Too by The Statler Brothers

Edith asked me if I would

Get her some popcorn, I said I would

When I got back dad, blame if you hadn't crawled

Into the backseat with Kate

And Edith was back there too

You can't have your Kate and Edith too

You rascal, you doodle, de, I do

(A song written by a son to his father, it's quite icky when you think about it. Never double date with your Dad!)

9. Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi

Gina dreams of running away

When she cries in the night

Tommy whispers, "Baby, it's okay

Someday"

(Another odd lyric with an awesome well-known chorus)

10. Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen

This thing called love I just can't handle it

this thing called love I must get round to it

I ain't ready

Crazy little thing called love

(Freddy was the king of strange, and this is another one.)

Ignore my advice if you dare!