I woke up again in the middle of the night, cold and sweating. She is always on my mind. I can not simply wipe her out of my mind. She wears clothes in outrageous colours. A wild red knee-length dress, paired with high-heeled blue shoes, a green French coat, a matching hat of the same, a combination of colors supported by her long, blond, shiny hair, staring at me with her deep sea blue eyes, questioning my mind in my dreams. 

It all started with  Ed Sheeran's " Shape of You " song. I loved it and stuck with it. In my dreams, I am singing all day long. and creating my future women. I am always shaping this image in different formations to give her an artificial look to satisfy my feelings. She is to replace my old love.

This morning, my usual 8 am bus was unusually crowded. Travellers are pushing and shoving each other to breathe and stay steady. I saw a young lady leaving her seat and offering to the old man who was trying to stay still. He had a smile on his face,

She just acknowledged the remark by smiling. She was just standing, holding the rail next to me. Close encounters with her intense, flowery perfume suddenly arouse my sexual feelings. It was an unexpected situation, and I  thought of my dream lady. " Is this my lucky day? "The only way to find out was to speak to her. I shifted my hand slowly and touched hers,

 " I am so sorry," I said. She gave me a glance with her beautiful, deep sea blue eyes. 

"It is okay, fast driving today." She smiled.

" I have not seen you before. By the way, it was a nice gesture to the old man." Not knowing how this chat was going to end, I smiled. 

" I started a new job, it is the first day of it. Just getting familiar with the area, can't drive Google Maps, is not working in the car. I am getting off the bus at the next stop. It has been a quick journey." She smiled and picked up her handbag from the floor. I did not have time to decide what to do, except that I found myself getting off the bus with her.

Before she could say anything, " Can I see you after work ?"

 She looked at me, " It's very soon, give me your mobile number." I did.

All day waited for her call. I did not receive any call, not only on that special day but also in the next few weeks. Every morning, I got the same bus at the same time, same stop, and got off at the same place, but she disappeared from the face of the earth. I am living with my dreams. In a way, dreams are illusions. Come to think of it, that unique day, maybe I pulled the rabbit out of the hat, and the whole thing became real. While disappointed, I am still searching for my rainbow women, thinking dreams come true if you are hoping for them to happen.

Normally, my usual trip to work is by driving. But since the mysterious day, I've been getting the bus, somehow hoping to see her again. Today, I saw the old man she had given her seat to. 

"Hi, you may not remember me, but when a young lady gave her seat, I witnessed her kindness. I wonder? Whether you saw her again," He turned his head around, looked at me, " Are you sure I am the right person? I can't remember, but nobody that generous nowadays to give up their comfort, anything in that gesture I could not forget," He said. 

"Listen to me, dear son, I understand your sorrow since Jenny, your dear lady, left you. The last few months,  it's like living with a ghost in the house. Although I like Ed's voice and his music, I am fed up listening to The Shape  You. Stop pretending she is dead," I never expected mum to understand me.

" When you love somebody truly and lose them, images of the love become an illusion; they will gradually disappear from your life, but memories can not be deleted from your mind. You just need an excuse to keep them alive, like Ed's song for me, just leave me alone." Please  Mum.

SHAPE OF HER

Lost Love in My Mind 

I woke up again in the middle of the night, cold and sweating. She is always on my mind. I can not simply wipe her out of my mind. She wears clothes in outrageous colours. A wild red knee-length dress, paired with high-heeled blue shoes, a green French coat, a matching hat of the same, a combination of colors supported by her long, blond, shiny hair, staring at me with her deep sea blue eyes, questioning my mind in my dreams. 



SHAPE OF HER

Lost Love in My Mind

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SHAPE OF HER

Lost Love in My Mind

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Everything Looks Better from Faraway

This is an Exclusive Story for supporters of kayhan egeli