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I do not like this poem, and I don't know why I can't seem to get it right. It's been sitting in my drafts for the better part of a week, and I was gonna scrap it... Figured I may as well post for the short and sweet before the deadline instead.
The whip of the wind; A song of hope. I feel it on my face And in my soul. The touch of a hand; Full of care. Let it send a jolt up my back
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About the Creator
Ashley Lima
I think about writing more than I write, but call myself a writer as opposed to a thinker.
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Comments (8)
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Become a paid subscriber to get access.I wanted to say something but I don’t want be upsetting in any way. I like this, very much. I love the ending. If it were me, I would just take out the comma after “halt” and “left.” It’s a powerful ending.
This is great and powerful
You know what, I feel this is perfect and complete. I mean, your words were powerful enough to have an impact on me. I loved it!
I like this a lot [FYI, touch and attempt are 5 and 7 letters]💙Anneliese
I think you're selling yourself short, this was great!
I do like it, but I feel it's not finished. this ending 'Til the dog days come to a halt, And all that is left, Of this ball of life Is dust." shows the possibilities of the rest. If it's something you feel you need to put down, no problem. But I think it shows great promise. :)
I like it!
Ashley, this is stunning, I am so glad you let this poem see the light of the day!!! Amazing work as always. So many great lines in there as well, especially love the one about the bugs and their tales as old as time!