It's a burden to carry your soul on your shoulders, Whispering softly, it creeps back inside. It's a burden to carry your soul on your shoulders,
This is an Exclusive Story for supporters of Ashley Lima
Become a paid subscriber to get access.- Gain access to my current and future Exclusive Stories
- Unlock commenting on Exclusive Stories
- Help sustain my future in writing on Vocal
By supporting a creator you are helping sustain the future creativity of independent writers, poets, journalists, & dreamers.
Payments from subscriptions will go to the creator, and will automatically renew each month. Approximately $2.30 of your monthly contribution will go directly to the creator. The remaining goes to Stripe and Vocal to cover transaction and platform costs.
You can choose to downgrade to a free subscription at any time, at which point you will no longer be charged. Payments are unable to be refunded. Learn more.
About the Creator
Ashley Lima
I think about writing more than I write, but call myself a writer as opposed to a thinker.
Keep reading
More stories from Ashley Lima and writers in other communities.
Comments (15)
Upgrade to see comments and join the conversation
Become a paid subscriber to get access.Interesting, haunting, and a little creepy (in the good way). A song sung by a scary presence as you try to get away...💙Anneliese
This is great the repetition works brilliant. Well done.
Oh woah, the story behind how you wrote this is great! I may just give that a go myself! Brilliant work! So heartfelt!
This is captivatingly excellent Ashley
That is actually very good, and an impressive accomplishment with that technique. In fact, that's how oral poetry was composed/memorized/and transmitted in all cultures before the invention of writing. The Illiad and Odyssey attributed to Homer are thought to have been in reality collectively composed by bards and memorized in chunks. As for the content, I feel the literary/horror aspect bleeding into the depressive side of what you seem to be going through, it's a creep under your skin, deep and sad kind of piece, and I really love what you've done with it. Sounds like a song already.
I never tried song lyrics and probably never will. Three cheers to you for successfully writing one.
This shows how inconveniences stimulate our creativity. But does this mean that in order to be creative, we should always feel uncomfortable?
Beautifully written and would be awesome with music for sure! I would love to hear it! 🤍
Forgot your phone at home? Nothing on the radio suits your fancy? No worries when you have Ashley! Yes, she can come up with a song in just mere minutes! And the best part is that you can add your own tune to it and sing along. Hurry and get your own Ashley now! Call 05 055 0555 now to order! Jokes aside, this was so raw, poignant and beautiful. I actually sang it to my own tune! Hope we get to listen to it once you add music!
That rhythm is WORKING. I love it! A dark subject, but certainly would be a good song.
I am such a fan of this repetition ✨👌 I smiled as soon as I recognised it… it works very very well! 👑💜✨
I'm glad you added context at the end of your poem, because the piece feels like a song. It would work well with music!
What a cool experiment! You were destined to leave your phone at home. Love the darkness - a great job! ☺️😊👏
This is great. I love it, Ash.
Fantastic! Very dark and wonderful!