Slow Burn

We drove up the snowy, winding road towards the cozy A-frame cabin. The car had been silent the entire ride, excluding the driver’s ever shifting radio stations as he barreled through counties and seemingly, time zones. How far could this place be? Naomi rolled her eyes, remembering the echoing words of her boss. “Cozy and homey. Perfect for team bonding!” More proximity to my coworkers was not the solution, Naomi thought to herself. She sighed deeply before returning her focus to the frosted car window, searching for anything in the white snow that would keep her attention better than her shared backseat.

Of course, we live close to each other, the universe loves to punish me. William thought bitterly, crossing his arms and leaning even further into the window. Their boss, approaching sixty, was all about tradition. He couldn’t believe people would travel alone to his bonding weekend so he mandated carpools. As well as attendance. William had started at the company three months earlier, drawn by their optimistic teamwork and commitment to good work. Then he met Naomi. Working there for four years, she was a force to be reckoned with. Stubborn, outspoken, she stuck to her guns, hard. William, the newcomer, outsider, was a fish in her barrel. Or so she thought. The city had given him an edge, an ability to think fast. He brought new ideas to the company, innovation, challenging her old ways at every turn, forcing her to contend with opposition. It was delicious. He caught himself in a half-smile, thinking of a more recent quarrel, her slightly raised eyebrow and flushed cheeks. But damn, if she wasn't beautiful. It was a problem. An increasingly distracting problem. He leaned further into the window.

“Okay!” The driver lurched to a stop and shut off the radio, silence indicating the end of the line. And what an end it was. A big, beautiful A-frame cabin stood in front of them, perfectly dusted with fresh sparkling snow. For a second, smiling like kids on Christmas, Naomi and William met eyes in joint approval. The cabin towered over them, aglow with golden warm light, pines lining the cabin like a picture frame. The snow hadn’t been swept off the walkway, Naomi realized, and was now soaking through her socks.

“God, I think we’re the first ones here. No one has cleared the walkway.” She groaned, child-like smile gone.

“It’s just some snow.” William rolled his eyes. As he approached the tall wooden doors the first half of her complaint sunk in. Great, alone in a cozy cabin. She’s going to kill me. The door opened dramatically, and behind it was just as breathtaking, if not more. Original wood furniture, double fireplace, furs on every couch. Antler racks and vintage skis decorated the walls, and William could see why their boss loved it so much. Homey indeed, but much more luxurious than he made it out to be! Twelve bedrooms, six bathrooms, it was a fortress. An empty fortress. He turned back around to see Naomi still standing at the doorway, shaking slightly. “Are you going to come inside?” He asked her, a bite to his words. She was so ridiculous. She would probably complain about being cold.

“Something’s wrong.” Naomi bit her lip. “Where is everyone William?”

Something was wrong. She never called him by his name. But shoot, she was right too. Their boss had talked about his early flight and the cocktails he would have waiting for them upon arrival.

“I don’t know. Try your cell. I’m sure they’re fine. I haven’t had service. Just come inside, would you? You’re letting the cold air in.” And catching a cold. William searched for firewood. Naomi looked over her shoulder to where the running car and driver had been moments before. He was gone. Great. She begrudgingly entered the foyer and started looking for phone options. Connecting to the wifi finally, her phone was immediately flooded with messages. A massive snowstorm had hit Boston hours after they left, canceling the rest of the flights for the day. Her boss had emailed, reassuring everyone they would wait for the storm to pass and head out the next day, extending the weekend. No, no, no, this wasn’t happening. Prayers wouldn’t work. A nightmare, her living nightmare. Naomi loved her job. She loved her boss. She had made a name for herself, earning the respect of the office and the company through due diligence, passion, and relationship building. Then came William. As cold and hard as a city in the depth of winter, his sharp edges covered her in cuts. He was poison in her garden, killing everything she tried to let grow. It was like he was put on the earth to create problems for her. Her own personal devil’s advocate. He poked holes in her work and the worst part was, sometimes he was right to. He challenged her in ways she didn’t know was possible, bringing the two of them to yelling matches. But when he ran his fingers through his hair furiously, the one time she saw him punch the drywall by the breakroom…watching him lose control made her…well…lose control herself. Sometimes after their fights the red flush would stay in her cheeks the whole way home, all the way up the elevator and to her door. It was dangerous.

She heard a creak from the massive staircase behind her. She thought he had gone the other way. Suddenly the darkness of the woods through the window and the low lights had a different effect on her.

“William?” Even she couldn’t hide the edge of fear in her voice.

“What? I’m trying to warm this place up, if you don’t mind.” He came from the side of the house, pushing past her with firewood in his arms. He met her big eyes and saw the change in them. “It’s fine, okay. It’s one night. We can handle it. I think I’m going to read a book. You should be fine to keep yourself busy.” He hoped he had sounded standoff-ish, and not desperate, the way he felt, a fleeting but intense need to pacify her. He shook it off with the last of the snow on his coat.

“You should be fine to keep yourself busy.” Only William would make free time an insult of her intellect somehow. Naomi rolled her eyes, choosing to think about how many more books she’d probably read than him, instead of how strong he must be to carry that much firewood at once. Hours passed with more silence, thankfully the house was big enough for two people to coexist without seeing each other. The snow had started to pick up. The sun was setting through the massive windows and Naomi curled up in some furs to watch, finding her eyes getting hard and harder to hold open.

Cold. Cold and dark. She shot up to find herself entirely bathed in blackness.

“William!” This time she didn’t even hide the fear. Footsteps on stairs. A faint candle light bouncing. He had come running.

“Hey. Hi. The power went out. Big storm. I’ve been circling the house but they have no backup generator.” William said, rushed. He set the candle down and she could see his snow-covered clothes. He was shaking. “W-we just have to use the fire.”

“Jesus, okay. Come here. You’re shaking.” Naomi offered some furs his way, looking up at him in the process, eyes full of concern in the candlelight. He stumbled back.

“I have clothes to change into.” The coldness in his voice was no match for the wintery mix outside, but he tried his best. Lying there in the blankets, in the warmth, looking up at him like that…he must be going insane. Cold-induced insanity. Only explanation. He darted back down the stairs, almost as quickly as he had come up them, leaving her in the soft light for the dark below.

Unbelievable. He wouldn’t let me help him if we were the last two people on earth. Literally. Naomi shook her head in disbelief. Emerging from the furs she was hit with a sudden gust of cold herself. God. She took the candlestick and headed to the room she had chosen, at the end of the hall, the farthest from the stairs. On purpose. Shoot. That meant it was the coldest room in the house. She heard a floorboard creak behind her. Time to relocate. Flying down the stairs she almost ran right into William, on his way back inside with more firewood.

“Sorry!” She gasped, right as he barked out, “Watch it.” God. Would it kill him to be nice? He dropped the wood and stood up slowly. “So…there are two fireplaces in the house. One in the foyer, the other in the master bedroom. The problem is we don’t have enough wood to keep the main one burning, and it’s pretty ineffective in warming the whole house, which we don’t need to do.” He looked up at her, unsure of how she would respond.

“You really can’t get enough wood? There’s no ax? I guess they don’t teach you this stuff in the city.” Fine, we can get our claws out. Naomi thought to herself. She loved to challenge him, however she could. Implying he was weak? One of her favorites. Of course, it was so backwards, because he wasn’t. At all. In fact, she was the weak one. Her eyes hadn’t lifted from his taunt back the entire, painstakingly long, time he lay the logs into the fireplace.

“This place has twelve bedrooms. No, they didn’t cover midwestern nightmares in my prep school. I’m sure they did at your local schoolhouse. Why don’t you show me how it’s done.” She was insufferable. I’ve been bringing wood in all day, William thought bitterly, not one thank you.

“Fine!” Her shrill voice echoed out, louder than she meant to. Damn him! Chivalry really is dead. Fine. Naomi was no stranger to snow storms or firewood, so she suited up. She was grateful for the chill hitting her cheeks as she stepped outside, a refreshing change from the flame she had felt growing moments before. She couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of her, but she wasn’t going to turn back now, after he challenged her. She made it to the shed where she had seen William coming from earlier, but the intense snow and wind had built up banks around it. Shoveling hard, she made it in. Ha. Not so hard. She paused for a second, seeing kerosene lamps on the storage shelves. Climbing around lawn furniture and power tools she made her way over to see if they worked. After a while she gave up, as the kerosene had frozen, and went back to stacking wood. But when she went to push the door open again, it was stuck.

William was pacing. Stop pacing. He had been reading earlier, but every page took longer and longer to turn, as his attention slowly focused entirely on Naomi. She had been gone for a while. He imagined going to help her and finding her at the back door. He’d never hear the end of it. “You don’t respect me! You never trust me or believe in what I do!” her harsh words rang back in his ears, from an exceptionally messy fight, after an office happy hour. He had seen a guy approach her at the bar, and he couldn’t help himself. The guy had put a hand on her bare arm and he was over there in a second, embarrassing her to drive him away. She had blown up, way more than he expected, almost in tears on the balcony, the bright city behind her. How wrong he’d been, how selfish. I believe in you, Naomi. He waited on the couch and watched the door.

He’s going to let me die in here. He’s really going to let me die. Maybe then he would finally learn his lesson! Naomi was getting colder by the second, the wind somehow picking up more. She assessed her situation. How long until he found her, or would he even look? Would he just wait until everyone arrived? “Naomi? Oh, no idea. Saw her around yesterday…” she could hear his icy voice from here, so painfully indifferent to her. She wasn’t going to die in here. She was strong, she was capable. She reached for the shovel again.

William was going to war with himself, and losing. It had been too long. The body can get hypothermia in ten minutes, he read that somewhere. How long had it been? The clocks were all dead. He pictured her bright blue eyes filled with fear. He pulled on his shoes.

Naomi dug and dug, but she wasn’t strong enough to hold the shed door open and shovel at the same time, and she could feel her fingers getting too cold to grip the handle. This is it, William, I hope you’re happy. You were right. The wind was stinging her eyes. She shut them tight and covered her face from the snow. That was how he found her, curled up. He pulled her into his arms, running into the cabin like a man possessed.

“S-so…so cold. Th-thank y-you…” she could barely get it out, lips so blue, snowflakes clinging to her long eyelashes. He almost collapsed at the back stairs. God, watching her suffer was like a dagger in his side. He wanted to cover the world with fire, perpetual sunlight, four thousand blankets, anything to make her warm and fine again. Furs and the master bedroom fireplace was the best he could do. He gently left her there, starting to turn to leave her in peace. She no doubt blamed him, as she always did, and his presence definitely would worsen the situation. “W-wait.” she let out, barely above a whisper. “Can you help me with...with my boots.” He almost laughed, she sounded so pathetic, but a different part of him was responding now. Things were different out here, in the woods, in the wild. Her suffering, he found, was only fine when he was the one in charge of it. Slowly, he approached the massive bed.

“I really thought you were going to let me die out there.” she whispered. This caused him to stumble back. How could she possibly think that? He wanted to reassure her, but as usual his words came out with an edge he didn’t mean.

“Maybe I should have left you out there in the wild, where you belong.” His attempt at flattery was just more venom. What is wrong with me?

“What is wrong with you!” Naomi echoed his thoughts so quickly he blinked, briefly wondering if she could read them all. Maybe he wanted her to. That would clear this up more than his words ever could. The flame in her eyes had returned and damn, her lips were no longer blue. No, she was all fire. Yet there he was, the ice that almost killed her.

He’s never looked at me like this before. Naomi had only seen this face once, at their holiday party, the first time she had seen him since breaking up with her boyfriend. She had gone the extra mile, wanting to show the world she was fine. Word got around at the party and of course William had something to say when she arrived.

“Surprised he stayed around that long, Naomi, new record?” He spit out, but something was off in his delivery. She met his eyes bravely, and woah. His cheeks slightly flushed, his golden eyes full of what she mistook at the time for hatred, but here, now, in the fire’s light, hundreds of miles from the city, from the nearest people, she recognized it and realized. Now and then, his eyes were shining with desire.

Just like that, the moment was gone. He was always doing this, pulling the rubber band of her further, further, she could feel herself bending, set to break, and then, snap. Released. Burned. Hastily, albeit gently, he removed her boots and turned to go again. He stopped in the doorway, took a deep breath and turned around.

“The only way we’re going to survive the night is in this room together. I’ll sleep on the futon along the bed.” Leaving no room for discussion, he shut the door and went downstairs. Naomi gulped. Does he really care about me? Does he feel the same pull I do? Sometimes she felt like a magnet, pulled towards him by a force even she couldn’t fight. It was always him. She would look for him in every room she entered. She could feel his voice in her ear even when she was alone, playful and low. She could hear him laughing at her, with a malice she realized now may have been a front. Protection. You can’t get hurt in impenetrable armor. When no one can find your heart.

William slowly made his way up the stairs. His fingers were still tingling from taking off her boots, seeing her fuzzy socks, her shaking legs. She was everywhere in his mind. She was food coloring in his fountains, ash on the ground after a bonfire, coating him, suffocating him. It was maddening. Enough, enough. Be a man. Be the man she knows, and will never trust or love. He sighed and opened the master bedroom door.

Naomi leaned up slightly, still shaking, but with a new look in her eyes as he opened the door, something he had never seen before.

“I think…I think it would be warmer with you up here.” She whispered, very carefully.